Even though I got out daily dressed as a woman, I always get a few stares here and there? do you go threw the same thing how do you over come the fear of going out?
Even though I got out daily dressed as a woman, I always get a few stares here and there? do you go threw the same thing how do you over come the fear of going out?
Yes I go out on a regular basis. I concentrate on how I feel when dressed. The way I can breathe when I walk down the street. I love interacting with people that I can sense are either accepting or oblivious to my gender. I have been lucky in that I have never had a direct confrontation. Sure there are a few stares but either they are decreasing or I just don't notice anymore. Finally, if I do get a stare i tell myself they just said that is the prettiest man they have ever seen. Since I really don't know what they are thinking I make up something that makes me happy!
Hugs
Suzanne
Selfmade - Ive been out several times in the last six months but I honestly cant be bothered anymore. I find its too much like hard work getting the makeup and the wig to look perfect so I can pass. Also, as I go to well populated places like shopping centre's it gets hard to concentrate as Im always looking to see if people are noticing me. Its much more relaxing in the comfort of your home....Ellie
Miss Paula's rules for Passing
1. Beard shadow kills your attempt at passing. Angelina Jolie, with beard shadow, will be addressed as "sir."
2. Don't be shy - walk like in like you own the joint.
3. Don't care what other people think. I know this one is hard, but the less you care, the easier this is.
Passing is kind of like Wile E. Coyote walking off a cliff. He's FINE, and can keep on trucking on thin air, as long as he doesn't look down. Once he does, he's screwed!
Oh, one more:
4. If you are dressed to attract attention, you can't be surprised when you attract it. You never know - it may be positive attention you are attracting!
I've gone out in public before. Many times. I admit I get nervous around big groups of people.
I think we try to hard sometimes. We try to make everything just right and then we go out in fear. They can smell the fear I tell you! I go out almost daily and basically if I chill, look at and smile at everyone, and not skulk about like I am doing something wrong then it goes quite well. If you act like you are doing something wrong people will check you out to figure out what it is that you are doing.
I should add that it isn't necessarily easy, but you can get there by doing it.
Are you happy when out dressed? Thrive on the happiness.
Be who you are, and say what you feel.
Those who mind, don't matter, those that matter, don't mind!
Just enjoy YOUR life.
Much Love,
Kristyn
January 23, 2010 was my very first public outing dressed as female in public . I was at a hotel near a military base full of guys and girls in army fatigues, dancing and drinking away. Then on to an all-night New Jersey style diner. This was my first night with Tri Ess. This was the beginning of a very long saga. Now I dress as female quite regularly in public. it's just who I am, and it will never go away.
I identify as transgender, and I'll leave it at that.
I also love my guy self too,and would never give up that part of me.
Last edited by NathalieX66; 01-02-2014 at 08:48 PM.
I'm not even close to going out dressed. For one thing I don't even have a complete outfit to wear since I purged it all before coming back from Europe. I still don't have anything close to a feminine sounding voice either. How do I get that? Although I would very much love to go out as a woman, I think it may be a while before I am ready.
I only wish I could go out; but I am a Chicken at heart.
I am a real big guy, with big hands, arms, wide shoulders, etc.
Girlie features I just do not have a single one that is visible.
So I stay in the closet; and do a lot of wishing.
Rader
Honey, I'm a transsexual, I'm out *all the time* and I don't have a feminine voice yet. I'm getting voice coaching, and am working on it. It's really hard. I'd recommend getting Kathe Perez's CD course on feminine voice. It's a skill you have to acquire. A feminine voice is really helpful, but it is about 10% as important for passing as is beard shadow. Learn to conceal that, or basically you won't pass most of the time. (Assuming you don't have really unfortunate anatomy - if you are built like a 6' 7" NFL linebacker, you probably won't pass well with HRT, FFS, Tummy Tuck / body lift, etc.) Some people use videos on youtube, I tried those, and didn't have much luck personally, but many do.Originally Posted by Brandi1980
People see generally what they expect to see. If you look like a woman and don't have any obvious cues - like being terrified that you don't look like a woman, you can pass fairly often.
edit: by the way, I'm comfortable enough now that even though I don't really pass without makeup, I'll go out sometimes without it. I'm otherwise dressed as a woman (I am one!) and I have small but real breasts and stuff, but without FFS, I probably won't pass consistently without some makeup. Electrolysis is helping a lot. Before I started, without makeup, but fully dressed, wig, forms, everything - I got called "sir", consistently.
Last edited by PaulaQ; 01-02-2014 at 08:59 PM.
I overcame my fear of going out dressed a long time ago. I go out with confidence now and don't care if I get an occasional stare. Stares come with the territory.
Luv andJill
Straight, into Fantasy Land
I only go out dressed if I have a specific purpose in mind. Then I'm concentrating on that and don't have the time or interest to worry about what other people think.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I actually thought today was going to be the day I made to move to go out, but alas the time for my picture taking got away from me and I had to get back to boy mode and go to work.
Like some have said it takes so much work to get ready I wonder is it worth it, than today I was like dang I put in so much work to look this way I need to see the world.
Well maybe someday I won't run out of time cause my courage is getting there thanks in part to you wonderful ladies.
Never have gone out dressed. Well halloween but I don't count that. I did go with a baby doll-tee and a bra under a hoodie the other night.Oh,and I didn't suff my bra.
I have never had any reaction at all from anyone. I look at people right in the eyes and talk ( fair to good voice) and either most are sooo polite or they do not notice or don't care.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
I've gone out in public many times en femme, but typically I reserve it for nightlife and clubs/bars with low lighting. Sometimes, I don't feel like I'm confident enough to pass for going out during the day. It's something that I have to work on more and become more comfortable with, because eventually, it will progress to going out during the day.
It took me a bazillion baby steps to finally be out and about. It starts with night drives then a walk in the dark, then make the leap to 'day walker' starting at dead end cul-de-sacs and vacant store fronts. Then it's a walk in a cemetery, then a drive through then a walk downtown.... then... well, I'm just a lil ol lady out doing errands now.
I will be the first to say, that getting to the 'out and about' stage is not an easy one. How you dress is about 10% of the effort while the other 90% is 'tude. The dressing part is how you want to be perceived. Dress like it's "hey look at me" and they are going to look at you. I prefer to dress to blend. I usually get the crowd wrong, but one dress one step up from the crowd I think is going to be where I'm going...
Dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable, then take a few pictures. If you like what you see, then head on out....
Hope this helps.....
Renne.....
If you're going out on a daily basis like you say in the OP, it sure seems like you've overcome your fears already. We get looks from some people, just stay confident and cheerful and always work on improving your presentation. Sounds like you have plenty of opportunity to practice!
Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.
I go out sometimes, but never alone. Well, once I did because I was a speaker on a panel at a local university, but other than that, it's usually in a safe environment or with a group of other dressers after a support group.
Just make sure I look good and......
Step out!
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I have only gone out a few times . Mostly on Halloween. This is going to be my year to change all that thought. How many times will I go out . dont know yet. I will do it more than once though I do know that.
New facebook page feel free to add me as a friend. http://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn...00003349942987
To SelfMade,
I'm with RenneB, Baby Steps. For MANY years it was always by myself (that was before the internet), at night, walking the square of small towns or parks or later once I'd built my confidence, downtown with a crowd around. LOTS of Drag Shows.. Even now, I've never been to a mall, never eaten at a "normal" restaurant, never been out in the daylight. STILL get butterflies when I go out.
Hugs, Connie Marie
I'm 6'3" and I wear heels. I have broad shoulders, a man's chin, and a big nose. My voice is a little nasely. When out, I own the place, exude confidence, and become a classy old broad with a killer wardrobe. There's really no other choice. I can't do anything about my height or other male features, so boldness and confidence is my only option! It works well for me.
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
Yes, many times now, which sort of surprises me, as I never expected to do that. I did it the first time just to say at least I did it once in my life. But I enjoyed it very much and have looked for every opportunity. I have gone to restaurants, museums, films, plays, operas, stores of all types, have taken trains and buses, been out with friends. I see my therapist regularly when dressed. Only a couple of issues with being read, and nothing serious. I don't pass if anyone looks closely, but for the most part, they don't. I'm careful about where I go and how I dress, and generally feel relatively relaxed. It has been very satisfying. I don't say everyone should do it. If you aren't comfortable then don't; if you don't feel the need, then don't. But for me it has been a very positive experience.
Michaella
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