Yep, that's where you are going wrong all right.
I'm saying that as a non-CD who was fine being identified as a gay man until you transitioned, that you just don't have a whole bunch of understanding of what many CDs here go through. Want to express some femininity? Fine - people will assume you are gay because this is the only template of gender variance most heteronormative folks have. This is fine if you are attempting to live as a gay man (I know this didn't work for you), but for a suburban dude in normalsville, this is going to cause problems.All I'm trying to say is maybe they should consider the crazy idea of trying to find ways to work their real personality into their real lives. I am not saying they should come out as TS or CD or anything too freaky, just be three dimensional men. Clearly this concept is too progressive for this forum but I pity anyone who is so ruled by fear that they can't even admit to enjoying a sappy movie or a pedicure with their daughter.
And yes, you should feel sympathy for people who are so ruled by fear. It's a horrible feeling - one you obviously don't understand well. You can keep your pity though. Nobody here wants it.