giving up crossdressing\purging

[pj]

I think anyone who believes that "quitting" will relieve any stress related to keeping it secret might find temporary relief. But there is also stress involved in denial - maybe worse stress - and that will eventually catch up with you.

That's coming from someone who purged at least twice before I accepted of who I am, which made it unnecessary to ever purge again. And I think that's the key here, acceptance of who we are, not something we do.

To me, the idea of "quitting" this part of me is like trying to quit having two feet.

[Donnagirl]

I've purged, replaced, purged again ad infinitum... Times I wish I could just stop, times I wish I could remain dressed forever. Who am I? What am I?

[Raychel]

Personally I have been thru it all, I have purged and vowed that I would never do it again,
We all know how that works out


Now I am out to most of the people in my life that really matter and have grown to accept that this is just a part of me.
This is the person that I am, No sense in fighting it. Just enjoy life dressed in what ever clothes I feel best in.

[Stumble]

In general, I had read articles online that mtf crossdressers stop dressing up for good being that they are not passable, they feel that no transwoman or genetic woman would want to date a crossdresser due to the fact they are attractive to regular men and that cross-dressing is addictive.

My question is has anyone thought about giving up crossdressing for good or realize that crossdressing a part of you?

As far as your love life goes, get out to places where you meet bi women. Lesbian catering places are best, as a bi woman trolling for girls will go there, but be upfront about who you are. Sure, the pool of candidates is smaller, but love finds a way.

A lot of people use on-line dating sites. There you can present yourself as you are and then sift through responders looking for an honest interest. Dating is always work.

I know a lot of you m-fs have been discouraged in your searches, but it could have to do with you feeling attracted to traditional personalities. It might be worth investigating.

[Kristy 56]

I've stopped twice,and purged once. Two of the worst decisions of my life.I tryed stopping when I was young(catholic school guilt) and quit and purged a few years ago for my SO( after I did something stupid) I still remember the horror of giving Kristy's life away. Donated everything to charity including some items with price tags still on them. Even the SO told me to keep a few things,but I didn't. Oh well,at least now I have the fun of buying new items. In the meantime no one is getting my Mary Jane's or anything else unless they pry them out of my cold dead hands !

[Christen]

Yep, I've purged numerous times. Have vowed not to do it again, it's just too expensive. And at 57 I know this isn't a passing fad. Now I just try and be as elegant as I can manage.

[Sarah Marie]

Ugh, I purged EVERYTHING about 8 yrs ago. Went to therapy, told my wife it was all done, managed to suppress for a while. Let me tell you, rare is the CD who can put it all away and never do it again. I am grateful for this forum and the few trusted friends who know. Damn, if I could only have my old wigs back!!!!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Tiffany, Crossdressing is like the Mafia, You just can't quit.

[cheryl]

I have done this in the past, and learned I always come back. So I've got too much wrapped up in clothes to throw them out and start over, especially since I don't dress daily.

[Seana Summer]

Every so often I have periods in my life where I have little desire to dress up. I have not purged in many many years since I know at some point the desire will be back and purging is pointless for me. For others, your own circumstances may make the need to purge the only logical option. I am glad I do not have to.

I have accepted that wearing a skirt on occasion is just part of me. I do sometimes wonder why......... but I don't let it consume me.

For some reason I seem to be going through one of those times now where I don't dress up. I have had ample opportunity to wear whatever I like the past few weeks and I find myself liking my male attire the best.......for now.

For my friends who wonder where I have been, my apologizes, I try to check in every couple days to respond to PMs but I have not been participating much in the forum lately. Maybe its just too cold for pink fog

[Erica Anne]

I did a massive purge (everything) when I got married 27 years ago. These were clothes that I had bought over the years while I was in college. Girl, I missed every thing. I had some cute mini skirts that you cannot get anymore. I should have purged the fiancé and kept the clothes. Marriage only lasted two years due to my earning potential was insufficient to meet her needs.

When I got married a second time, did not have to purge since I told her everything up front before the relationship took off.
Some of the skirts I had, I wish I could find again. I do have some nice one's now but wish I kept my belongings from long ago.

[bethcgy]

done that before. now I need to purge again, but stuff I dont wear anymore

[Jenniferpl]

Been there done that. Like most who have posted before me. There are times when I am able to keep my mind occupied with other thoughts and desires. Over the long haul my femininity has been relentless. It just keeps coming. As my wife keeps reminding me " there is a lot of girl in me".

The only good purge is to weed out the clothes you no longer want to wear. I purge once a year. If it has not been worn in a year out it goes. Need to make room for the latest fashions.

[JazmyneCD]

I have purged several times despite my wife being completely supportive of my dressing and even complimenting me on my little stash of clothing. She came across it one day and we talked about it, her already knowing that I enjoy it. She again had no issues.

But I recently decided to purge a majority of things just for the sake of doing it, even though I have a GG who has told me I can take my things to her place should I ever feel the need so that I wouldn't throw them away. I didn't listen and away they went. I even started growing a goatee back as a way to fight the urge to dress. It was time to get manly again! Grrrr, manly!

Now here I am thinking about how to start my collection again. I love dressing and going out as Jazmyne who is a liberated, confident girl. I'm as comfortable in heels add I as I am in running shoes so why fight it? I've gotten so many compliments on my legs and I love that attention. So despite a CD's efforts to hang up the heels and walk away, there's a good chance they'll be back at it in no time. The goatee is disappearing today and Jazmyne will be back. She can't stop. She won't stop. And neither will the rest of us girls.

[AKADonna]

I have purged and 'quit' several times, but I always seem to be drawn back. I think it's the feminine feelings that take over and make me desire to get into a bra and panties!

[Julie Martin]

Been at it off and on for 40 years. Wish it would go away but it won't. However, I have it down to once or twice a year, when I let it all hang out (see my Julie's adventure post). Then it's back in full on guy mode till she strikes again, normally 6-12 months. I keep the clothes 60 miles away in storage so I won't be tempted..or caught. Works for me!

[tiffanynjcd24]

Read all of the post, you ladies gave me great advice. As for me, i really miss dressing up

[cdsara]

I have been thinking of giving it all up and trying to be just male. Its tough, I don't want to bit my SO doesn't approve at all. We got to do what you want but dadt. Then she's back to grilling me and making sure I stopped. I haven't dressed for awhile and miss it but she is pushing me towards lying about it again. She says I should go back to the therapist if I want to start again. I never wanted to stop. Sorry foe rambling, I am just confused and frustrated!

[BeckyRiven]

If you do decide to give it please donate your old clothing to a woman's shelter. Just throwing it away would be a waste.

[Janine cd]

I've purged a number of times, but keep coming back. There is no end to the desire to dress so I've come to accept it as a natural consequence of my being.

[Rhonda Darling]

I thought the ultimate purge was throwing out all your drab clothes. Someday! Someday!

Carla - excellent! Made me giggle out loud ("GOL").

Rhonda

[Mafalda]

In my experience - as I can see it's a common feeling! - I was going in a continuous cycle of purging, stopping for a while, starting again, and so. I have stretches of time (sometimes as long as a year) when crossdressing is not interesting anymore, I think of myself dressed like a woman as unattractive and bad-shaped. Then comes a day when... I look at an image of high heels... read about some fashion news... and I start again. It's so money-wasting! I justify myself thinking about a renovation of my wardrobe. Somehow, dresses and accessoires I have been already wearing are less attractive to me, so purging is not difficult. At present, I feel that having my female things ready somewhere gives me a control over the need of crossdressing. But probably it's just a matter of time!

[secretcd1]

I usually go a long time without dressing, but then something triggers my urge to dress and I buy all that I need to do so. I'll eventually stop feeling such a strong urge to dress and get rid of everything, then rinse and repeat.

[Lucy Lou]

I have, over the years, dressed for a while and really enjoyed it and then I got pangs of guilt and purged all my stuff. Then a while later, I think to myself that I wish I hadn't. I did that for years until I came on here and lots of people helped me through that. Finding that I was not alone and that many other do the same was a real help.

I will not do it again and for anybody that has a problem with this, the advice I was given was that if you feel like like purging put all the stuff in a suitcase and stick it in the loft or some where out of the way. Then when the feeling comes back just go and get it all back down and off you go.

When I think of some of the things I have thrown away it makes me feel sad. Also it is damn expensive to keep re buying your stuff. There are many who have gone through the same set of feelings so you are not alone and thanks to the wonderful girls on here I have sorted it out. Lucy xx

[GeminaRenee]

I have purged, more than once. I thought I was giving it up, more than once. I have come back, more than once.I'm pretty sure there's a reason for all of that.

Your mileage may vary, of course. But for me, dressing is too much an integral part of what I am, what I want to do. My male and female sides are pretty well-balanced; they need one another. Ultimately, if I dress too much, all of me suffers. If I don't dress at all, I suffer as well.

CD's may quit, and they may do it successfully. We probably wouldn't know, because I doubt they would come back here to brag about it. But I have to believe, purely from my own experiences and my anecdotal recollections from this site and chats with others, that it may come at a cost too steep for anyone to have to bear.

I wish I could tell you more. All I know is that it hasn't been easy for me. And I'm not the only one.

Have a great day, and good luck!

PS - I often find this quote to be worth pondering when I think about CD'ing, and how it relates to my whole self:

“Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am. That I will never fulfill my obligation to surpass myself unless I first accept myself, and if I accept myself fully in the right way, I will already have surpassed myself.” - Thomas Merton