giving up crossdressing\purging

[Eryn]

I can honestly say that I've never purged. The reason I can say that is that my societal training was severe enough that, even though I knew I had a "special interest" in things feminine, I never acquired anything to purge.

Obviously, having lived most of my life with the idea but not the actions of crossdressing I could probably go back to that status if it were absolutely necessary. It would probably take a considerable toll on me mentally, though, and that could lead to an outcome that is much less desirable than continued CDing.

[LaraPeterson]

To purge or not to purge, that's likely not the question. I think purge usually means to get rid of something permanently. I tried a couple of times and it didn't work. I suppose that means it wasn't a purge. It was a temporary insanity.

[Amy07]

So I did not purge everything. I sent a pick up truck load of mostly ladies clothing to the local charity. I unloaded it too. Lots of things, but happy for those that can use it. It was me in the truck, too.

And nice to read what you posted too. glad you live in the cali.

And today, I gave a homeless guy about 50 bucks in change, at a stop light just a mile south of the Capital of the us

[lovetobedani]

My god. How many times I told myself that I would never dress again. I felt guilty, ashamed, sick, adnormal so I purdged at least 4 times in my life. I tried to surpress it but for some reason the feeling never goes away, nor does the question that I've never seem to get an answer for. How different would my life have been if I were born female. The older and stressed I got the more I needed to be fem yet never really dressed for sexual reasons. This is just who and what I am. I'm far from passable but, I've accepted who I am.

It wasn't until about 10 years ago when alot more information about CDing/tg and such became avbailable did I stop feeling so lonely. I've come to learn that there are so many others like me out there. Most of us have similar experiences and beginnings. Try to accept yourself ASAP and live your life your way.

As far as acceptance from GG's goes. I think that it's on the rise. My hope is that I would find one who will be my accepting life parter who will celebrate who I am together.

This is one of the best forums I've seen to dicuss these issues with others who are like you.

[kimdl93]

I'm not sure the rational is that they feel I passable. Most of us aren't. People try to quit primarily because they are nor happy with or self accepting of themselves as CDrs. I think it's fine to try. Maybe some succeed in going cold turkey. It didn't work of me.

[Billiejosehine]

As a young child I had CDed a couple times and stopped all together and when I reached my teens the desire to CD came back and I began the vicious cycle of stopping and starting. With each time I purged; I'd tell myself okay this it...I'm done...I can overcome these feelings; only to have the desire to CD and eventually the desire to be a women come back stronger then ever. I now realize I was in denial about who I am and that it's a part of me. While other people may be able to turn it off, it's not something I cant do or deny. I am now more accepting of that part of me and I'm looking into transitioning soon. This realization and acceptance has taken a toll in a lot of relationships such as my SO. But I can no longer hide from the world.

[tiffanynjcd24]

@Amy07 i live in new jersey not cali i wish.

Sometimes i wish i have a crossdresser roommate in my area like we would have a girls night out and do everything together.

I really find crossdressers attractive and i would like to be in a relationship with a crossdresser same thing with transgenders and gg. Sorry for going off topic

[Hell on Heels]

Hi Tiffanay, I've been through the whole purging thing several times. Not knowing exactly what I was feeling
or why I crossdressed, only to have the "pink fog" roll back in. Each time it was a bit thicker and I would take it to the next level. Finding more info, thanks to the creation of the internet, was a god send. I now realize I'm never going to be able to stop. This who I am, and I'm not alone.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[tiffanynjcd24]

Aww you welcome hun. As I realized purging is not a good idea unless if you strongly feel that this is wrong and it is ruining your life. Basically if anyone is happy with being a cd then dont purge at all

[RhondaT]

Like the other girls here, I have purged too many times to count. I finally came to the realization that purging was nothing more than wasting money because I always returned to the overwhelming need to be a girl.

At my wife's suggestion I tried estrogen in hopes of calming the need. It did just the opposite. I finally admitted that I am a woman and the need to continue that lifestyle only gets stronger and more intense as time goes on. I thiink about being a woman constantly.

Now, I love the fact that when I buy a bra, it fits my breasts so I no longer need forms.

[tiffanynjcd24]

I understand and i feel that you must been a one happy gal. After reading all of this wonderful post, i understand that i wouldnt give up crossdressing as to trying to please. I do it because i am happy. The reason i havent dress up in a long time because i was going through things and i havent find time. But now being that i have a good job and getting my own place. Does anyone miss dressing up for a long periods of time and how does anyone feel about it

[CharlotteCD]

I haven't dressed in about a year at a guess, maybe 9 months at the minimum. I haven't consciously stopped - I just don't the drive right now.

I do miss it in a way, but I don't match 95% of the posters here so I can't speak for a majority. To be honest, I'm glad I don't have the urge.

[mysticalkatie2014]

I purged before a couple of times I was so un happy but the guilty feeling I had inside was to much and I was feeling depressed then I met misty and my life has become so much better xxxxx I love u misty

[Stephanie Julianna]

Like Cheryl T, I have dressed and purged more times then I can count over the 60 years that I have been doing it. I could fill a large vintage clothes store if I could get it all back. Now I just buy enough to dress fashionable for the times and season and rotate out as needed. Don't need a huge wardrobe since I don't expect the same people to see me day after day in the same dress. No more purging. I'm not going to change and it's too expensive.

[brassieres]

My question is has anyone thought about giving up crossdressing for good or realize that crossdressing a part of you?

I recently purged again, and yet feel like I am regretting it again. In therapy I am working out that this is part of who I am and not to fight it. I need to buy more clothes again too!

[Nikki 1984]

Nah I couldn't ever purge on my crossdressing. I like all the items that I have. It would be rather expensive to replace the items if I were to throw them out. Also this is who I am. Anyways I'm not at all ashamed of myself.

[Sarah Marie]

I purged EVERYTHING including most photos. I even moved to a different part of the state. I was so involved with the TG community and I gave it all up when it put marriage in jeopardy. In retrospect, it was a HUGE mistake. Anyone thinking of purging... don't! Get a storage locker and store your things. You can only suppress for so long then it hits you again! The need to be that whom you are! Wasted time, wasted money (on therapists who tell you that it all stems from self-esteem issues)... dear friends you've abandoned in a vain attempt to "be a man" UGH!!!

[MeDeanna]

I am almost 60 years old. Been dressing since early 30's. I can't believe that the tranquility of having on femme clothes would threaten anyone. If so, the government would make it illegal.

[Patty-Fay]

The first time I purged, I was in my early 20's. I had had a scary experience where I was read, and threatened. This ruined it for me, because I now associated dressing with avoidable danger. I threw everything in the dumpster. A couple years later I started up again; my fears had abated over time.

The second time was when I started dating my 1st wife (I was now about 28). I didn't want her to know, and I also felt I wouldn't need it - since I'd have a "proper" sexual outlet." This lasted until we separated, 8 years later. Dressing again was one way to exercise my freedom, but it was also a way to step outside my troubled life (it was the divorce from hell) and into my fantasy world of feminitity.

The third time was when I started dating my 2nd wife, same reasons as before. I started up again about 8 years later. By now, the internet made it very easy to acquire stuff, and my wife was going out of town about one weekend a month - so I had opportunity to play.

The fourth time---well, I actually didn't purge. I just left all my stuff in its hiding place in the attic. I decided to stop dressing after a terrible experience getting outed after walking out of the ladies room at Walmart (and threatened to be arrested). I vowed to never dress again, but I was like the alcoholic who keeps a bottle of booze in the house (I'm not really equating this to alcoholism - which destroys health and screws up lives). I think I went about a year before I again dressed. So it's been about 12-13 years now, and I really don't think I'll ever truly purge again, although I may go many months at a time that I don't dress. Like so many others, I consider it a part of me - and I am at peace with that (finally, at age 60).

[Mistyjo]

Crossdressing is apart of me i have tried to stop dressing a couple of times and when i did my wife told me that crossdressing is apart of me and that i am truley happy when i dress as mistyjo and she was right so i feel its something you can't just quit doing there always going to be apart of you that wants/needs to crossdress

[Jessica1983]

hi i need to stop it is damageing my marrige i havent purged yet im waiting on a referal to see a theripst at the minite to see what thay say i should have come clean to wife before marrage and kids but glad i dident because i probly would not have a wife and kids if i did and thay are more importent to me than dressing but im not looking forward to purgeing

[Stephanie47]

I've never purged. I don't think I ever will due to anything related to my wife. There are many times that I do not even think about cross dressing for a long time. Even when banging on the keyboard on this site I no longer wear any feminine attire every time. Decades ago when I weighed 160 pounds and was six foot one with naturally blond hair I may have been mistaken for a tall Swede. Now? Well, I am not at all passable. That's why I stay away from mirrors.

[natcrys]

I have never purged and I don't think I will... crossdressing is a part of me and knowing myself.. it will not go away (nor do I want it to.. but that's a whole different discussion).

My advice to others would be.. if you feel like you want/need to purge.. store it! Get those vacuum bag thingies.. put your clothes in it. Get all your shoes and put them in boxes. Do throw away make-up since that stuff does have an expiration date. And store them in closet, under the bed.. rent storage somewhere.

In 100% of the cases I've known.. the desire to dress comes back. And then, you'll be grateful you still have that dress or those heels.

[Aprilrain]

I purged more times than i can remember and the only thing that finally got me to quit CDing was transition. I do not believe it is possible for CDs to quit CDing, then again if anyone had managed to quit they wouldn't be hanging out around here now would they?

[Caden Lane]

I purged as a young child due to guilt and fear of being caught. I resumed in my early teen years, then purged again as I began dating , due to guilt, but also fear. I didn't resume until right before my first marriage. I came out to my first wife and we had a very loosely defined DADT, despite me wearing things nightly. We parted ways. When I began dating my second wife, I came out to her immediately. She lied and said she understood and accepted it. As time went on, she began to take a DADT mentallity, and I was still underdressing and occassionally wearing things to bed. But near the end,she forced a purge on me by throwing away a great deal of things. Then made me throw more away. The only saving grace was that I had some things in reserve that she didn't know about, and I was able to rescue the stuff from her forced purge without her knowing. Her forcing that purge was perhaps one of the most hurtful things that she could have done. It was a true expression of the resentment she had for me and the dressing, and the level of betrayal I felt was truly astounding. Thank God I was able to exit that situation with my sanity intact. And I am thankful for the Love of my life that I am with now, and the level of understanding she is expressing daily as she figures all of this out. Because of this, I see no more purges in my future.

As for the question can we quit? That I'm afraid is up to the individual, and their motivation. I do not think it is feasible. I think it will always be a ghost of the past whispering on their shoulder each time they see something pretty they would have loved to wear.