How important is going out in public to you?

[kendra_gurl]

Leigh the importance in going out changes depending on what you are truly trying to accomplish or experience. That first time it's usually just to do it, to see if you have the nerve to do it. To satisfy in your own mind if others think you look as ridiculous as you think you probably do. You will avoid any close contact with others and be very content to just be seen from a distance and you will be in a euphoric state of mind the entire time you are out.

Then comes your second time out. You may choose one of lots of different reasons for going out. A drive wearing something a lot more risqué with the occasional getting out of your car to be seen by anyone who might notice you while still within the safety of driving away quickly. Flashing truckers on the Highway. A gay/les friendly club for a drink with dreams of interacting with others but still shying away from personal contact.

Then as you gain confidence you will want to get a little closer to others just to know in your own mind if you are "passing" or not. You really won't know the answer to that but you still want to try and find out just to build that confidence more. As has been already mentioned you will then try dressing to either blend in and not be noticed ( an I agree there is not much fun in doing that) or you will want to go out dressed as one of your own dream girls just to see what reactions you can get. I will never forget the first wolf whistle I received.

The point is it all depends on your ultimate desire. What exactly are you wanting to take place when you do go out.

You said " I have several times lately gone out with light makeup with no wig or jewelry and gone to Walmart or a drive thru and while I was a little concerned I did it" Ask yourself why you did this, why you did it that way, what were you hoping to accomplish.

I love going out and do so quite often with my wife. While with her I dress stylish but down to not attract any immediate reaction from anyone. The few time when I have gone out alone I always show more skin, cleavage, legs, and higher heels. And while I am not dressed this way to meet or hook up with anyone I do enjoy the satisfaction of being noticed for just how sexy I look (or think I look). I want to imagine myself as that woman you see from across the room who you can't take your eyes off of while remaining safely across the room.

Unlike some here and like a lot of others for me it's not about being myself. I am a male and very comfortable with that fact. It's about becoming and living the illusion I have created for a short period of time. It's an escape from reality like an actor getting wrapped up in playing a part. I enjoy it tremendously but know it's only temporary and that is what make it so important to be able to do.

[Suzanne F]

I never thought it would be possible. Now that I do it on a regular basis it would not be possible to stop. I have to be able to express myself. I have finally accepted that I am transgendered. For me it is about interacting with the world as the woman I always wanted to be. I know that is not the reality for everyone here. I think you will know if you try it once. My first step out of the car was like I can finally breathe! I love being out and about. I look forward to one day being able to do everything I do as a male en femme.
Suzanne

[Cheryl T]

As Karren said, getting dressed and sitting around the house is boring.
At first it was nerve wracking to go out in public fearing discovery by friends and family, but then the fear disappated as I went out more and more. It's a natural thing to want to be part of the world around us and since this is such a part of us it is I believe natural for us to want to express this is public.
As for family or friends recognizing me, well I don't think that would happen unless I spoke to them. My wife is fully supportive and goes with me. We have an understanding that if we see someone we know we tip each other off and then separate so that the person(s) don't have the opportunity to relate one to the other. It is just easier that way.
As for confrontation I have not experienced it yet, but then again being 6' and about 185 it would be a group that I would worry about, not an individual and as yet that hasn't happened. I also make sure to be aware of my surroundings as any woman would. Avoid situations that might lead to a problem and just all around be careful.
But ultimately, yes, I needed to go out and having done so I enjoy doing it whenever I can.

[Maggie O'neal]

I would love to venture out but I am not brave enough yet!

[suzy1]

I have no need whatsoever?

Sometimes I feel like I am inadequate or missing something when I read all these replies…… but most of the time I just breeze through life a happy bunny.

[EmilyS]

Up until recently it was not all that important to go out. However that has changed and I have the urge/need to go out.

Emily

[terri_sandal]

Very important ...the feeling of the breeze around your legs the sound of your heels on the pavement all heaven to me
To be able to go out and blend in feels fantastic

[Laura28]

I have not yet ventured past the door. The most got was at the hotel late in the evening going to the coke machine. But the urge is so strong to go out I know I will get the courge up. It is funny I never really had the urge in the past to go out or even share my dressing with anyone even my wife (although she has always known) but now I want to share it with her more then anything I am hoping one day she will want to see fully dressed in person and not just pictures. I also shared it with GG friend and it felt so good she has seen me dressed and loved it. I am so curious about venturing out and see if I could pass. Not to mention I would love to be able scuff the soles of my heels on the ground and not just carpet. Lol. I have set a goal to gout this year so it will happen.

[KaceyR]

To be honest...once I started putting on full clothes and trying makeup..(not just underdressing) I figured right then and there that I'd be trying to go out sometime. To a certain extent.. I've kind of grown with age to be a person that just sees a "fear wall" and just wants to bulldoze thru it. I guess considering earlier-in-life fears and seeing where sitting around dreading those got me has made me more this way. That's why I plowed thru fears of telling mom, friends, etc (although there was other logic to those as well).
So the first part is not wanting to waste time dreading things.
The 2nd part is validation. To see how well I can "be convincing" as a dressed woman. i'm sure that I'll not be the best with all that. Some mannerisms and all. But if I can get out, look good, and feel good that's the main thing. (tomorrow will be my first "out" day...Kacey's getting pampered. Mani-pedi in morning, MAC makeover in afternoon and some shopping).
So Its a big "plowing" day. (hopefully it won't be a bad snowplowing day.. Winter sucks for up north CDers... (I need to get a winter coat and boots too...)

Overall, it's a bit lonely to me to be just alone at home, dressing. Sure it's fun, relaxing. But just doesn't feel like a complete experience.

[Genifer Teal]

I really don't dress to sit around at home. Have you heard the one: "If a CD goes out and no one takes a picture, does it count?" Well if no one sees me, I feel what is the point? This is me and how I feel. I am so lucky to live in NYC where acceptance is much higher that in other areas. This certainly makes it easier. I am not full time. Mostly just my social time.

[Nadine Spirit]

I probably dressed partially for about 20 years before it occurred to me to fully dress and the thought of going out never occurred at all. But then for some reason something changed and I wanted to fully dress. Then shortly thereafter I wanted to go out. I looked my fear in the eyes, and went for it. Scared the crap out of me, but felt right. So I did it again, and again, and again and...

Then shortly after that I realized I was almost dressing exclusively to go out. Is it important? No, but it sure is fun. Oh and yeah, I assume that I am being "read." But I honestly don't really care. I may pass at a glance from others, but when I start interacting with the public, they sure as heck know I am most certainly a male.

[CynthiaD]

I go out occasionally, but not often. I find the experience quite liberating. As far as I'm concerned, going out "doesn't count" unless I interact with others. I don't much care if I pass, but I want to look like I've "made the effort."

[mysticalkatie2014]

I love going out but unfortuately I dont do it enough x

[wanagione]

I have to agree with Karren, I sat in the house way to many years, and it is boring as hell. I love getting out, I ride my bicycle, hike, go to the art museum, ect...

[kimdl93]

Fear of attack or fear of ridicule are largely just that. If you go out in daylight to public places, and dress in a manner that is respectful of others, there's no reason to worry.

I would not go out without the knowledge of my spouse. I think that's disrespectful.

[Madeline80]

I don't live in an area that I that I perceive as very accepting. The one time that I have been full on out in public was in Las Vegas (can't wait to go back!). And even there i was like a deer in the headlights. I'm trying to figure out where the fear is coming from and I think it is just not wanting to be read or cause some kind of scene. I think I am at the point where being more passable would involve hormones, and that is not the path I'm on. It really is a bummer to spend a couple hours getting "ready" to sit home.

[Jackie7]

WHat kendra_gurl said.

I love blending into the parade of people, and i love the responses I get when I'm read close up. It's all thrilling.

[carhill2mn]

I am one of those who is fortunate enough to be able to go out in public frequently. I enjoy looking like a woman, acting and being treated as a lady! It is a unique experience!

[Ellie52]

Leigh I think it all comes down to personal taste. You could ask a thousand different people and get a thousand different replies.
Prior to joining this forum I had no intention of going out in public - it never even crossed my mind. Several people put the idea into my mind and eventually I decided to do it. And like everything I do it had to be all or nothing. I decided to go to the wig shop where I bought my wig from and then go to the local shopping centre. This would be Monday lunch time (Very busy).
I put on my favorite pink suit with full make up and headed out the door. I drove 45 mins to the wig shop and they were fantastic (after they realized who I was). They convinced me I would pass muster in the shops so I went for lunch and coffee and a look around the shops. It was OK and I think I passed (to my knowledge anyway) but I wouldn't say I really enjoyed it.
To put things in perspective.
1) I don't like shopping.
2) I couldn't see the point of it - I am a guy and I am happy to be a guy so it was more like fancy dress.
3) After the initial panic wore off I felt a bit silly and wanted to go home and change.

I must point out that these are MY views only.
After this outing I did a couple more. One to a local Marina on a very busy school holidays. Again there were no adverse reactions but I felt silly again.
So for the future I cannot see any more outings as I don't get anything out of it. I prefer the sanctuary of my house where I can sit down with my wife and get a glass of wine or a coffee and relax. ...Ellie

[njcddresser]

The urge to go out fully enfemme is getting stronger today. Today I went out wearing a pair of girly jeans, a little make up and my boobies. I was actually hoping to get an acknowledgement from someone but no one really seemed to notice.

Went to the movies and ran a few errands.

Tonight my wife and I went to dinner while I was dressed in the same outfit.

Perhaps Thursday I'll go out fully enfemme.

[Miriam-J]

I wouldn't just sit around home while in guy mode, and I don't see any reason for it to be any different in gal mode. I find fulfillment in living a full and complete life in either mode, and that means getting out to do normal activities. Since my wife has helped me to easily pass and blend as a gal in nearly every situation, there are few impediments for most activites. There are limits, of course, since my gal side is necessarily hidden from work, our grown children, and most friends, but that just restricts the company I keep. All this helps me to feel complete as a person rather than feeling trapped in the home.

Regarding some of the other issues you raised... Safety isn't really an issue as long as I stick to the same guidelines as any other gal: lighted, public places. I don't worry much about being recognized, especially when I'm out on my own rather than out of any familiar context. I don't think even family members could to identify me with any certainty as ambiguity and their own expectations would prevent them from making the connection.

Miriam

[Jackiefl]

I like dressing up and going out and very fortunate to have an accepting wife. We have been to many places over the past 25 years and i'm no beauty queen lol ! I try to dress my age when i'm out with my wife out of respect for such a wonderful spouse. This past weekend we went to disney world and universal studios in orlando,fl and had a wonderful weekend as a couple of women.

[Paulette]

Dressing and going out are hands to mittens, they go together. Once I stopped worrying about what people would say it was very easy. Now I have a couple of GG friends and some CD friends who like doing things which entails going out. I have spent several days in a row dressed and doing all sorts of normal activities that any other person would do, I just happen to be dressed as a female. If the event calls for pants and flats, I am good with that, just as i am with a nice dress and heels for other events. I always have a girl friend when going out at night for dinner or a movie, which the GG's will tell you they also do. Women a long time ago discovered that being with some one is more fun than being alone. If I am going to spent the time to look fantastic (the best I can be) then I am not hiding form anyone. Look around the biggest worry a lot of the girls here will have is being too well dressed and groomed. An Evening or cocktail dress in WalMart will stand out. I dress all of the time with the exception of work, which I must do to afford the dual wardrobes. So to sum it all up I dress and go out because there are things to see and do and oh so much fun enjoying life.

[lingerieLiz]

When young I couldn't resist going out and being the true "girl" I thought I was to shop etc. Eventually work and dating interceded and over time I did less going out in fem. Now I wear women's clothes, but don't try to pass. I don't wear dresses or skirts anymore so it is fairly easy to be out and around.

[Terri Andrews]

I love going out as Terri .
I also deal with self esteem issues ,as a guy and a girl,but I try to leave that at the door and enjoy my time out.