Recently we are having some fairly heavy discussions on what it is to be a CD. I thought it might be good to see if we can put "our hobby" into perspective.
For those complaining their SO doesnt understand them, have you actually tried to look at our hobby from their point of view, especially if you werent upfront at an early point in your relationship.
Imagine what it must be like for a wife to have the police knock on your door and arrest your husband for paedophile charges or being a suspected serial killer or terrorist. Now Im not trying to say we fall into this category but its an example of how a wifes life could fall apart. What we do (our hobby) wouldnt be classed as normal behaviour in our society (If it was we wouldnt need the forums) so lets just take a step back and look at it from Her point of view.
Her life was nice and stable and everything running smoothly, the kids were happy in school and Jeffrey and Joanna next door had invited us to dinner on Saturday. Then your husband decides to tell you he wants to wear a dress and go and meet some girls who are really guys in a 'special safe' club in the city. Kerpow shes in shock and has no reference on how to handle this. The first emotion is obvious ,ANGER, the first question is WHY what has she done to deserve this. Its not like he's just decided to take up knitting instead of woodwork. He wants to wear a dress.
If we take a step back can we see it from her point of view? Where is this unknown thing going to take them. Will Jeffrey and Joanna still talk to them if they found out, what will happen to the kids at school? Will we have to move? Are the kids in the street going to deface our house or ridicule us when we go out. Are the police going to come knocking? Will the neighbors think Steve is Gay?
Women look at it from the practical (family) point of view, where we just look at it as a selfish manly point of view. I need this so Ill do it whatever the cost.
If you are truly a crossdresser not wanting to transition can you truly forgive your wife and understand her worry about the future of hers and your life together. If you had gone off and had an affair with another woman she would have a reference point for that but this is so unusual she has no notion of how to handle it. Please be careful and understanding and if Jeffery and Joanne ask you over for dinner, please dont put on your favorite taffeta dress with those slingbacks you just had to have, even if the girls/guys tell you that you look gorgeous.....Ellie