So what is "normal"?

[Gillian Gigs]

Within so many of the threads that I read, I see words like weird, normal, etc, but many of these words seem to be fluid. By saying fluid I am meaning that they vary according to a personal prospective, or interpetation. We can get dictionary definations, but how many of us check the dictionary before using a word, or how many words evolve into something else over time. So what is normal, the best I can come up with comes from thinking about another persons tag line.

"Normal is what you get when you adjust and compromise for all the quirks that everyone has".

Some say that Cding is weird, I prefer to say it is a quirk, a peculiarity of behaviour. We all have quirks, some are just a little more out there than others!

[PaulaQ]

Normal is conforming, at least externally to the expected range of behaviors of the cis-gendered heteronormatove society in which we find ourselves. And CDs are still FAR outside the range of behavior that is considered acceptable. Normal is the society that punishes non-conformity.

[Kate Simmons]

Normally I would agree with you Gillian but then that would be kind of quirky in itself, no?

[Ellie52]

Normal is only applicable to the environment you are in. This forum classes people who wear womens clothes and appendages (breast forms etc) as normal but the general community class that as aberrant behavior. The same way you would (hopefully) class a pedophile club as being aberrant perverted and sick, but they may feel they aren't doing anything wrong, even though its illegal and very disturbing.
Normality is fluid and has to be taken within a context.
You wife or SO may feel you are NOT normal but on this site we'll tell you that what you do is perfectly normal. Two totally different environments with different interpretations but its the context that changes the outcome....Ellie

[kelly10]

Denying yourself to conform to a socially constructed idea of what is 'normal' seems to be a part of the human condition in all times and places. I suspect that if we could all read each each others thoughts all of the time though, the idea of what is 'normal' might expand just a little don't you think?
If people in general are cutting off their individual edges to fit this manufactured ideal of what is normal, and that idea of normal is constantly shifting and expanding, what the hell are we doing? I think the more authentic we all can be, the more we expand and affect the idea of what is normal. It's always the courageous few that move and change the 'normal' definition.
What is normal? How long is a piece of string?
Now where the f*** are my stockings?

[CynthiaD]

Crossdressing is normal.
Being transgendered is normal.

Living your whole life pretending to be something you're not -- that's weird.

[sometimes_miss]

What's normal is what the individual feels it is. Sure, for us, crossdressing is normal. To virtually all women (and men, of course), it is definitely NOT normal, and not something they find sexually attractive in a man. So if you want to date a woman, finding one who feels crossdressing is 'normal', and acceptable in her mate, is going to be difficult indeed. In this 21st century, there are lots more people who are willing to 'live and let live', but tolerating it is a whole different story from liking it.

[DeeDeeB]

Crossdressing is normal.
Being transgendered is normal.

Living your whole life pretending to be something you're not -- that's weird.

Loving it - DeeDee

[ShelbyDawn]

Statistically speaking, all points on a bell curve are "normal."
The ones in the middle may occur more often than those on the fringe, but they all qualify as normal.

I have heard that anywhere from 3 to 8 percent of men crossdress in some fashion.
We all fit into 'normal' we just aren't in the meat of the bell curve.

But let's look at the "actual" numbers, shall we?

Assuming the low end and taking a rough estimate that half of the close to 7 billion people in the world are male, that means that 0.03 X 3,500,000,000 = 10.5 million crossdressers in the world. If you add in ALL the GG's in the world (because they ALL crossdress), that number becomes 3,510,500,000 crossdressers!!!

That's a lot of people to not be "normal".

Seriously, though,

I personally feel I am just as normal and just as weird and just as quirky as the next guy or the next cd or the next gurl or girl. I look to myself and do my best to keep balance in my life. Being CD is part of that and that is that...



Shelby

[sometimes_miss]

Sorry, I missed this somehow:

Statistically speaking, all points on a bell curve are "normal." The ones in the middle may occur more often than those on the fringe, but they all qualify as normal.

I think what we have to be concerned with is not 'statistically speaking'; it's how women feel about men who crossdress. And I assure you, the vast majority most certainly do not feel that it is in any way 'normal'.

[Caden Lane]

My normal is different from yours. Yours is different from anybody elses normal. I don't care about societies version of normal, because they are too content on assessing labels, hedging people in, putting people in corners because they are different on some level. Why do we try to subscribe to that sort of "normal"? Id much rather define my normal for myself. Because what has societies normal done for me lately?

[Katey888]

There is no real normal... I am so not normal on more levels than just my proclivity to want to look like a girl!

My taste in music is not normal. My favourite movies are not normal. I don't actually want to be normal!!!

Normal is boring. Normal is average. Normal is mediochrity!!!

I'm unique - you're all unique. Let's just be ....

Wild...? Where's Wild? I need some shouteys not smileys...

[melanie206]

There is the subjective normal and the objective normal. The subjective normal relies on the eyes ( and opinions ) of the beholder for meaning. The objective normal can be quantified. Therefore, CDing, being TG and gender fluidity is normal because it has always existed. Just like being left handed or having musical ability. I am not equating these traits with transgender behavior or feelings because the jury is out on what really happens in the X/Y chromosome game of musical chairs. Not sure of my point. The people who can only handle "normal" are the ones who need help.

[Wildaboutheels]

Normal.

For a MAN, it's to be able to LOOK at "attractive" [to them] females or simply FEMALE appearing body parts and be able to "get ready" at a moments notice. Until approx. 45ish for most men. [I am using THIS very Forum for a guess at that #] This has been going on for likely hundreds of thousands of years and is not going to change anytime soon.

Pretending that we have some control over it OR can change it is simply a denial of wellllllll established behavior and FACTS.

I'll even throw in a second definition. "Normal" is living one's life precisely the way THEY choose to and not endlessly worrying about what others are thinking or what they might say.

[Adriana Moretti]

we are normal....everyone else is weird.......

[suzy1]

If you get 1000 people that are all the same and one that is different then the one that is different is looked upon as not normal. That is the way of the world.
Its when that ‘one’ is looked upon by the rest as wrong or perverted or in need of help to conform to the norm that the problems begin.
Is CDing wrong or abnormal? No. But try telling the other 1000 people that.

[PaulaQ]

@Suzy1 - yes, and it's easy for the other 1000 to eliminate the one, for the purposes of "harmony".

@Adriana - the "normal" world is so broken that it's just tragic.

[dana digs sweaters]

we are normal....everyone else is weird.......

Wonderfully put for me too Miss Adriana.

[suchacutie]

If we have a feminine "connection" because of the natural probability of how our brains developed in the womb, then we are a completely natural and normal phenominon of nature.

[kendra_gurl]

I agree Normal can mean a lot of things to different people but weird is still weird

[Beverley Sims]

Normal is in the eye of the beholder.

[lovetobedani]

Normal is subjective. We are all normal to our own standards. I consider myself normal as I do all of us here. Who am I to judge others.

[Gillian Gigs]

Nice pic's Kendra.

Part of this whole thought on what is normal is partly based on a deep seated thing within many of us to fit in, or be normal. I have come to the point of realizing that I am a fringe person, and the best way to "feel normal" is to find other fringe people to be with. In my younger days I did spend alot of time in the arts community, being active in social issues, and being involved with political movements. Today, not so much action, but more words than anything.

Suzy made a good point, the problem is in how we handle the one who is different. I wonder if our ancestors had handled the different one the wrong way, how much art, philosophy, prose, or poetry we would have today.

Katey has good point also. Maybe I have too much mediocrity in my life, so I need some spice to make things more interesting.

[ShelbyDawn]

Sometimes_miss, I think you missed it again.

My comment about "statistically speaking" is correct and if you read past the tongue-in-cheek numbers part of my post to the last line( the one just after 'seriously though')
I believe that what we need to be concerned with is not what women feel about men who crossdress but rather how we feel about ourselves.
We will never make everybody happy with what we do whether it is our job or our lifestyle; I have family that can't understand why I gave up a job making just over minimum wage as a radio announcer to go back to school to make over six figures in the high tech world - go figure.
We need to get to a place where we are happy with who we are and look to surround ourselves with people that will love and support us because of or in spite of that.
Once I figured out how to be happy with me and found ways to keep balance in my life - including my crossdressing -my life became much easier and the fact that I CD became much less of an issue.

As a very wise mentor once told me; "Your opinion of me is none of my business. It's just not my garbage."



Shelby

[LydiaG]

Normal is boring. I don't want to be normal.

I couldn't imagine living a life that would be described as "normal" to "society"... It just seems so boring and uninteresting. But hey thats just me, YMMV.