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Thread: Did Women Cause Us To Start Crossdressing?

  1. #51
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    Firm believer in genetics.

  2. #52
    Me, Myself & Rachael Rachaelb64's Avatar
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    For me personally, I'll have to say - No.

    Me 'brian' isa just wired differently
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    Today is a good day to Dress!

  3. #53
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    i grew up in a family of all women...i was the only male...did it cause it ?? probably not....but it made it easier to get started thats for sure. I had access to everything at an early age

  4. #54
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Deebra, if your theory is true, then how do you explain the 95% male population who also grow up around mothers, sisters, cousins, schoolmates, etc, and who have no inclination to crossdress?

    Also,

    Quote Originally Posted by deebra View Post
    Men's clothes are drab and rough and do very little to make a man desirable, on the other hand a woman's presentation and clothing, appearance is just the opposite.
    But men ARE desirable just as they are ... to women. Women aren't turned on by other women, no matter how desirable these other women are to men. Honestly, if a man truly wants to be sexually desirable to women, then he will try to look as masculine as he can.
    Reine

  5. #55
    Member LenGray's Avatar
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    Nature vs. Nurture, huh?

    Wellll...I know that this thread isn't particularly aimed at me because I'm on the other side of the fence, so to speak, but here's my thoughts on it.
    Growing up, I didn't want to be 'pretty' or a 'homemaker', I wanted to protect people, live my life honorably, and be seen as a strong and capable person. I felt like I was banging my head against a wall, not just with men but women as well, because I didn't fit into the social construct that my gender put me into. I didn't like the attention I got as a woman and still don't. I've lost count of how many times people have looked at me oddly when I start talking about doing what's right and honorable, because in their experience, that's not how a 'girl' should talk.

    There's probably a lot of factors that led to my transgenderism that range from my social status to what I truly feel inside. I feel as though the external and internal influences both shaped me into who I am, and that that person doesn't fit into society's expectations of 'woman'. Women and men didn't accept me as I was so I started cross dressing and it felt right for me. Now, I'm a transman and I feel better about myself because I'm not caught in a gender that can't be who I am.

    An argument can probably be made that men's perceptions or women's perceptions made me like this, but I don't think that it matters all that much. What matters is that I'm living my life being me, whoever that is, and that I'm happier this way.

    I think it can be summed up for me as, 'Who cares who the messenger is! Did you get the message?'

  6. #56
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    To my mind, the primary problem with these types of ideas is the existence of FtM trans men.

    Oh yeah - those guys.

  7. #57
    Member Jamie Christopher's Avatar
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    it did for me; 3 older sisters, in and out of bathrooms in lingerie with lingerie all over the place all the time....oye!

    Jamie

  8. #58
    New Member opaquetights09's Avatar
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    For me I am not sure why I started wearing my grandmothers dresses and pantyhose. I just did one day. I always loved the look on the girls in school growing up. I remember the feeling I had when the girls in class wore skirts and hose. There was one girl who wore sandals and tan hose a few times. Not sure how I made it through school. As for later in life, my second wife was quite the fashionista. I learned much from her and bought her quite the wardrobe. Would love to have some of those for myself. Leather skirts, coordinating skirts and tops, just an unbelievable wardrobe.

    Melanie

  9. #59
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    I'm willing to bet that there is a heterosexual crossdresser out there who grew up with two father's who directly disproves this thread...

    This really isn't anyone else's fault, it just happened, nobody knows why.

  10. #60
    Sapphic GeminaRenee's Avatar
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    Was it the chicken or the egg? Hard to say. I wasn't raised around a bunch of women. But at a very young age, I recall noticing the women in church - their nyloned legs, their high heels. I remember hiding in a closet and holding my mother's brown leather purse - for inexplicable reasons, it excited me. When I was three, the girlfriend of a cousin kissed me on the cheek with bright red day-glo lips. I could feel the lipstick on my cheek for hours, even after the lip prints were probably long gone. All of that happened at such a young age, and I was so powerfully drawn to all of it, that I have to believe there was something hard-wired into me that predisposed me to like what I like.

    But that begs the question: since none of these things are innately feminine in any natural, biological sense, what is it that I was really drawn to? It's not like sexual orientation, where you are attracted to the male or female form, definite biological entities that are a part of the very fabric of life. I mean, if women in our society wore burlap sacks and feathered tri-pointed hats, would I have been so thrilled by them? There were other things that were fashionable when I was young that have never drawn me in, like tops with giant shoulder pads. And I'll never get all giddy at the sight of a floral-print blouse. Maybe what I'm really wired to like are certain textures, or colors, or visual cues.

    The whole "male clothes are boring, rough, unappealing" argument seems silly to me, though. More like an excuse some CD's use to justify what we do. It's not as if there aren't women out there wearing awful, drab, rough looking clothes. And there are plenty of attractive, appealing male clothes out there. I should know: women compliment my clothing all the time. Obviously someone doesn't find it dull. But I also put care and consideration into my wardrobe in either mode. The hammer swings both ways on this one.

    And no, I don't wonder at all why some women are ok with it while others aren't. Many women want men that they perceive as masculine, that exhibit those masculine cues. I think that's pretty normal for a straight woman. Also, there are people with closed-minds, and there are people with open minds. A lot of it is upbringing, or societal and religious influences. Sure, I'm sometimes disappointed that more women don't think it's grand, but it's completely unsurprising to me. After all, if there's one thing we of all people ought to know, it takes all types.
    Last edited by GeminaRenee; 03-04-2014 at 03:52 PM.
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  11. #61
    Member devida's Avatar
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    I see from the answers to this question that you could prove or disprove anything you like. My mother was an award winning movie star. I was absolutely fascinated with her when I was a child, happy to watch her go through all the hours of make up and trying on clothes to get to look as glamorous as she could. Both my mother and my step father were concerned about my gender identity, although, since this was a long time ago they didn't phrase it that way. My stepfather worried that I was too weak and feminine. So when I was quite young they packed me off to boarding school which certainly had the effect of turning me into a hateful, arrogant, and cruel child. I had no idea until relatively recently that the root of most of my unhappiness was a gender mismatch. It wasn't that being around the spectacular example of feminine sexuality that my mother, as part of her job, portrayed, made me transgender. I was that way from birth. I adored my father, who was a high level diplomat. I loved his masculine habits. I loved the way he dressed, the way he wore his watch, the way he kept his nails, the way he moved, just as much as I adored my mother. But it wasn't my environment that caused my gender mismatch. In fact, most of my environmental influences regarding gender just confused me and made me unhappy. It took most of my life to sort this out. At heart I knew I wasn't a man but I also knew I was not a woman. It wasn't anyone's fault. I was just born neither really masculine nor feminine but something in between. Unfortunately it wasn't until recently that the social prohibition against being something other than your gender at birth started to lift, and it's still going to take a while before people like me, who really are non-binary, are accepted as just as valid as people who consider themselves either male or female. But it is happening, especially among the young. I am absolutely delighted by this!

  12. #62
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    A mother and three older sisters, yes they would torture me by putting me in a dress or putting make-up on me. But at the time it was horrible and unwanted. But then one day I needed to try on all those clothes and make-up. They may have in some unconscious way contributed to it but have you ever seen the bathroom that four women share or their rooms for that matter? If anything I should have been put off with anything female.How I turned out to be the neat one is anybodys guess.

    Bye-Bye Lisa
    Last edited by Allisa; 03-04-2014 at 08:20 PM. Reason: horribel spellink
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  13. #63
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    When I was nine or ten I threw a fit over being given the "girl"part in a Cub Scout play and ultimately was given another part. I started dressing a few years later because of curiosity and the proximity of items to wear. Looking back, maybe it was because I protested too much earlier. Then again, I was probably too young to know what I was missing.

  14. #64
    Gold Member Diane Smith's Avatar
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    My mom always expected to have a girl, and was surprised and confused when she gave birth to a male child. (I am an only.) She had pretty girls' clothes and baby accessories all picked out, and then I arrived. I believe that the inclination to crossdress is innate, but curcumstances growing up can affect one's opportunities to actually practice it. In my case, seeing my mom and grandmother dressed up to go out to their frequent luncheons and evening club meetings certainly aroused my interest in ladies' fashions, shoes, jewelry and makeup. I was astonished at what radiant creatures they became when they put some effort into their appearance. My mom recognized that I was showing some interest in feminine things and (since she was all prepared to deal with a girl child anyway) helped me out by occasionally letting me wear lipstick and nail polish, getting my ears pierced, and buying my first pair of heels. When puberty came, I think she had a kind of "OMG, what have I done" moment, though, and all the interest and encouragement suddenly ceased. We didn't talk about it after that, although I'm pretty sure she knew I was still dressing. One part of me wishes I had been more open with her about it in those later years, while another says it really wouldn't have improved our (good) relationship in any meaningful way, so nothing was lost by letting it remain unspoken of.

    - Diane

  15. #65
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by deebra View Post
    Do you have the answer?
    Again, you're looking for the 'one, true reason' that people crossdress. And there isn't one. You've fallen into the mindset of medical people the world over, who search for a disease process with the one thing that causes it. When in this case, there are many. Until you can accept that, you will never be able to progress in your own search for why you do it, because there are many paths, not one, and if you try to pin it on one, you'll always find an exception to your solution.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  16. #66
    Member Jilly75's Avatar
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    My older sisters friend used to dress me up. I remember her getting me to wear my sisters holy communion dress and I insisted on knickers as well. I loved it and looked forward to her coming round. I was only 7 and was encouraging the dress up sessions so although she was the catalyst it must have been in me. It is a secret that has been with me for 40 years. Then I stumbled upon this site and now am making up for lost time.

    Jilly

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  17. #67
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    On a biological level you are a cross-dresser because your brain is hard-wired to release dopamine and other neurotransmitters when you feminize yourself. Your brain interprets cross-dressing as actual contact with a female and releases the neurotransmitters producing the sensations of well-being, sexual gratification etc.

    On a psychological level you over-valued the female in your early childhood, and under-valued the masculine. You may have thought that parents preferred girls. Girls were smarter than boys, or girls were prettier. Girls had it better in life. Or, you may have thought that your mother would have loved you more if you were a girl. You under-valued the masculine by believing that males lacked virtues, or lacked compassion, or they were too rough, too dangerous, and just not as good people as females.

  18. #68
    Member Patty-Fay's Avatar
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    I fit the mold: I was two older sisters who got a lot of attention for their clothes. One of my earliest memories was about my jealousy of me sister's pretty red petticoat. My mom and sis gave in and let me wear it. I liked spinning around in it and letting it fly out, but I also loved the way the material felt against my body. I learned that panties felt just as good. While I put some stock in the theory that my sisters (and their pretty clothes) influenced me, this alone doesn't explain why I liked the feel so much.

  19. #69
    Member devida's Avatar
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    Confucius says: On a biological level you are a cross-dresser because your brain is hard-wired to release dopamine and other neurotransmitters when you feminize yourself. Your brain interprets cross-dressing as actual contact with a female and releases the neurotransmitters producing the sensations of well-being, sexual gratification etc.

    Yup, no doubt. But we also get a little dopamine squirt when we check for email and discover that someone has emailed us, when we pull the lever on a slot machine, when we do practically anything that brings us pleasure or we think is going to bring us pleasure. Your statement is too broad. But thank you for letting me say Confucius says.

    Confucius also says:

    On a psychological level you over-valued the female in your early childhood, and under-valued the masculine. You may have thought that parents preferred girls. Girls were smarter than boys, or girls were prettier. Girls had it better in life. Or, you may have thought that your mother would have loved you more if you were a girl. You under-valued the masculine by believing that males lacked virtues, or lacked compassion, or they were too rough, too dangerous, and just not as good people as females.

    But this thread has provided a number of instances of cders who did not have these kinds of experiences. I loved my mother, I adored my stepfather. I had no siblings. I went to all boys schools from the age of 11 onwards. I never undervalued the masculine and I was quite as dangerous as any other boy. I still wasn't properly gendered as masculine. Even though I consider myself more femme than macho I actually don't consider one gender superior to the other. Your statement, and of course the original question, assumes that there are only the binaries of male and female. There's more to gender than that. There are more genders than male and female. I would even suggest that cders who do not foresee or imagine themselves transitioning are actually another gender, neither male nor female, unless dressed in drab or femme and maybe not even then. But I don't know. What I would say is that we are whatever gender we choose to call ourselves whenever we choose to do that and that genders may be as unique as individuals. Also because of the assignment of gender at birth many of us just simply aren't what our social environment decreed us to be. We are much more complicated and interesting than this or that. We are this, that, and many, many others.

  20. #70
    Junior Member Angela Dressing's Avatar
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    I can't relate to women on TV, but when I was in my early teens my mom would go through the house from the bathroom to her room I would see her in bra/slip and hose. i was curious as to how that material felt. once when no body was home I went into her room and into her drawers. I felt all that stuff and I like the feel. I started looking forward to being alone and actually started putting it on. WOW!! I was flooded with the thought of getting caught, and overwhelmed with the feelings that I have desired to this day.

  21. #71
    Junior Member Kristina_nolagirl's Avatar
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    Yes .... I think God is a lady. And I do believe She is the one that wired my brain backwards, making me a CD. I'm so grateful to Her for making me the way I am!

    I'm absolutely convinced that I was born a CD. Way to many memories of obsessing over girlie things in a very non-boys acting as girls family.
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  22. #72
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    Hi Deebra, I have been dressing for as long as I can remember it's just who I am and it's just what I do.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  23. #73
    Member Aeslyn's Avatar
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    Absolutely and unquestioningly yes. Though I could be wrong, no way to know really.
    I know that growing up most of the people I was around were females. There weren't many guys my age that I spent time around having only sisters till I was sixteen and being bullied by the guys in my town. So all my friends were girls. Male influence wasn't a big thing where I grew up either. There is the ideal of the male role model but until you are at least ten boys spend time with and looked after by only females. The men are around, yes, out fixing cars or playing with dangerous things that children shouldn't be around. So yes, I can see the influence that led me to it. But whether or not I would have went down a different path had things been different is something I don't and can't ever know - thank god!

  24. #74
    Member lovetobedani's Avatar
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    I do believe that women did influence me to dress but not in the way that I've ever been dressed by one. There's an old saying, "you can lead a hose to water but you can't make it drink". Just becuse there's women and thier beautiful clothing around does't mean that you have to try them on. For most it's not a temptation, for all who are like me it was irrestable. I have no reason or idea why it just is. With this said I agree that thre's something in our brain that drives us in this direction. We all want to emulate thoes who are the most successful, weathy, healthy, and attractive. In this case I want to be female or as feminine as possible. I also what the health and weath of others as well.

    It is a confusing subject to say the least. I am who I am and I've accepted it. But, at the end of the day I think that it's more the way my brain was wired. Now on if my body matched my brain.

  25. #75
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    I grew up in a family of all boys, so not much feminine influence. Yet one of my fondest desires, for as long as I can remember was to have a dress of my very own that I could wear whenever I wanted. Now I have lots of them. Yay!

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