Pregnant Water Buffalo

[Vanessa Rose]

I love my avatar. Why, because it is totally the person i would be, but that i am not. Also, I am highly reserved about any photos. Why, because i am a wimp.. I kinda like mystery, wonder and imagination...they can take me anywhere. Vanessa has quite - the - imagination and is a VERY bad girl on occasion. And sure my boobs are better than my avatar (wink) but the rest is a shipwreck.

I once told a woman, that i liked to imagine what her body looked like vs. naked as it gave me a job to perform to slowly get the clothes off.... I hope this makes sense regarding the mystery aspect I am referring to.

If the immediately aforementioned role were reversed and my GF said the same to Vanessa Rose, I think she'd drop both her upper frontals. I am a wreck.

What is my point then. I am minding my own business posting, drinking beer and sitting in a jacuzzi and she looks at me and says why do you have that picture? I told her that I was fat, had a head like a mellon and would cause the board to go into mourning... she chuckled... being the loving soul... she said you are mistaken
not all the people would get sick and cry, just some. WTF?

I told her thanks and that I appreciated her for sugar coating the truth. Then she said no really, why do you use an avatar? I said I just told you... she swore at me and said no really?

I said what are you getting at...? She said, why don't you get a professional photo-shoot and use those pictures. I said I'm chicken, don't have anything to wear and I'm fat as a pregnant water buffalo...and she said no your not, you have some clothes ()

I said i don't have any clothes really that wouldn't have hooker and **** and cargo wench associated with them.... She sat there, looked at me blankly and said, then we can get clothes.

I am not sure i want to do this. Sounds nice on the surface but this will open up a whole new can of worms. And i have enough cans of worms and other craziness associated with me as it is that could fill up several barges, the Exxon Valdez not including the room i need for skullduggery, non-sense and my addictive personality.

I told her I would think about it and kinda snapped at her... nervous...I guess...

I asked her why she loved me with all these quirks, and my non-sense and she told me i won't go there.... because of your heart..

I have some apologies to make tomorrow for sure. Guess all happening too fast or something.... just don't know.

Sigh...

Vanny

[Ellie52]

WOW I think I am as confused as you are. Did I miss something and you won the lottery. Buy her the biggest bouquet of flowers you can find, then add a card that says "To the most special person on the world" and then give them to her (NO - Dont keep them yourself as that's selfish). Go buy some classy clothes that reach below your knee and get a damn avatar picture taken.I want to see why this chick loves you so much...Ellie

[Vanessa Rose]

I love the shit out of this woman...I bought her so many roses one day, that three people had to carry them in.... I tell her all the time that my only job is to make your life beautiful. I don't think i have, but she would argue. Who knows why she even talks to me. I can't be with me for too long on occasion. Who know's.... all happening fast...

Thanks for your kind words

Vanny

[Laura912]

Flowers? Check. Tell her she is amazingly wonderful? Check. Listen to what she tells you? That, you need to do.

[Dana_Drake]

She's a keeper, Vanny. Do what she says and buy her something special. Buy yourself something special, too!

[kimdl93]

She seems a practical, honest and straight forward woman. Follow her lead...you still don't have to post a new avi but you'd have fun and get some more clothes.

[Stumble]

Vanessa Rose-
I get how you feel. I have all the ugliness of OLD, and you cannot make a silk purse of it. However, some things are not about us, but about the one we love. She loves you because. Just because. We all need to love more than we need love, and often our SO sees something in us that is fundamentally important to THEM. We do not have to understand, and rarely do.

Maybe she wants to "help", or maybe she just wants this for herself, somehow. Consider doing it for her. Even if she ends up disappointed that the experience does not change you, then she has learned something about herself. Consider doing it for her, and asking her help with clothing choices.

This could be about her, not you.

[Katey888]

Vanny,

You have a fantastic wife and a groovy avatar - why not keep both?

You shouldn't feel pressure to reveal anything you don't want to simply because others here choose to. I think there is some truth (mentioned on other threads) that once you post here - that's it - that content is in the cloud be it a picture, any details you choose to reveal, whatever...

While I don't believe anyone who knows me would ever recognise my avatar, I would not have posted it if I was still employed rather than self-employed as this part of the forum is public...

You definitely have a fantastic wife, though...

Katey x

[Kristy 56]

I think that I can honestly say that quite a few of us wish that we had the same dilemma. Hoeever,you have to do what you feel comfortable with. But I do think you have a keeper there.

[Caden Lane]

I'm not seeing the problem here. As was suggested, buy her some roses, make her dinner, and take her up on the offer...and also let her know how much the offer alone meant to you. Don't let the roses say it for you. Verbalize it to her.

[Jesse Six]

Hi Venessa,
I feel you, got the same dilemma: privately it feels very good to do it, but there's a big self-esteem issue around showing me to others. Like others said, some manly features just cannot be covered up, and it hurts when I see them in the mirror. It's gradually getting better though as I get more proficient with makeup.

To people that are more confident, this type of admission probably seems tedious, and I'm sorry for doing that. If they were selling self-confidence at the store, we'd go on a buying spree. That's what a forum like this is good for, to build oneself up.

Regardless of whether or not you decide to do the photos, your SO sounds like she's genuinely interested in your happiness. She sounds wonderful.

[Jamie Lynn]

I agree with all the others here, Vanessa. Your wife is special as you well know. Be happy and accept her offer! She's trying to show her love and support!

And by the way.........I want your current Avatar! It's definitely an eye opener!

[Vanessa Rose]

Dana,

I could tell from your picture you were clairvoyant. Last weekend we were out and about and she started looking at a necklace. I just bought her a matching topaz and diamond necklace and ring - crystal blue with white gold

Still not enough. Don't you think?

The fact that this woman can put up with me and my skulduggery is baffling


Vanny

[Vanessa Rose]

Kim, all I know is that I began looking at clothes last night.

So I am trying. We have a good connection and I know I am the lesser half. I will try but have not put the pieces together.

I have always wanted stuff like this. Because it is happening, I feel like a freak or that I am selfish or .... I hope this makes sense. Thanks for posting

Vanny

[Tracii G]

Love is a wonderful thing and she sounds like a great lady you should take her up on the clothes offer.
Let her enjoy doing something special for you.

[Beverley Sims]

Vanessa,
Be lifted by your wife's encouragement.
You do not need to have a low esteem of yourself, my wife is told by her children that she looks like a beached whale.
I do not have that perception of her though.
What goes through her mind when she sees me dressed.
Your wife has a different perception of you, I would work on that.

[Vanessa Rose]

Hi Stumble,

What a sweet response thank you so much. If this is what she wants then I would be surprised.

Also, I am self deprecating a bit about my looks. I am not a model but that is ok. I will look fine in the end
And whatever Vanessa ends up being, I am great with it.

I have confidence of steel and a solid grasp of capabilities, limitations and outcomes (may be redundant) so I will be good to go when I sort this all out.

Vanessa is in good hands. Perhaps I should just let my lady hold my hand and take the lead as others suggested.

I have a reputation to maintain and if I get my hands I. Things I will surely mess something up. And she will likely smile at me. That in it self gives me feelings and confidence one cannot buy. Now to deal with these flippers I have as feet. Lord look at the size of these things. sigh...


Vanny

Katey,

You make my heart soft. Love reading your responses thanks so much. So pretty.
I am luck but feel somewhat doomed. How in the world can I keep this woman attracted to me when my boobs sag and my hair falls out (wink)?

Really though, I get this feeling that she will wake up one day and look at me like the freak show I am and find my wit repulsive and my buffoonery tiresome

That's what we have restraints for. Now isn't it.


Wow. I am excited. Whoa Nilly. Got to go

Vanny

Tracii,

Yes it is. The mere fact that one have someone in our lives to share love, touches, passion and tips on how to apply makeup (lol) is a gift.

I am lucky yes. Why, I have no idea

Vanny

[Lorileah]

laying it out bluntly...get the damn photo shoot. You will love it, you will have great pictures and you will gain confidence (pay attention to the make up artist)

[Vanessa Rose]

Hi Beverly,

Thanks for posting. I am not lacking confidence in me, I think, just the adjustment is staggering. You are lucky as well with such a great wife. Me, I am lucky, I realize from the response, but my world is turning too fast. Kinda like a merry go round as we kids would And run and run and push and push and fling ourselves on the thing till we were spinning so fast we would fly off or hit our heads on the metal bars nostrer how hard we held on.

Well that explains the memory loss issue. Ha

Hugs

Vanny

[Vanessa Rose]

Hi lorileah,

I am not sure what I will do short term, but I may longer term. I am really overwhelmed and want to enjoy this deeply. It would be a dream come true

Interestingly during errands today I was asked why I am so insecure today? I said this is too perfect and being perfect is scary. We don't argue, we don't fight, we each respect the others qualities and honestly, I can't find one thing wrong with her. As a matter of fact, she is so beautifully perfect, that she wi make me a better person in many ways.

That is where I am today. I read a post be careful what you ask for, you just may get it.

I have and am incredibly overwhelmed

I hope this does not sound like bragging it is not. I don't know why I found this woman, my dreams and such. Fact is she saved my life from the past and offers me the only gift I never had, happiness.


Thanks for posting

Vanny