I don't know what to do please help.

[Megan.]

Hi there it's megan again i am having alot of problems at the moment trying to figure out who i am you would have thought i would have found myself by now being 32 but as of yet i have not.

I am a cd that has been crossdressing for some time now but it is just getting stronger and stronger wanting to do it more often than not i want to go out and just be the person i want to be.

i have family my mum and my dad and 2 brothers the only people who know is my mum and dad my 2 brothers have no idea i have no friends that will support me with this come to it i have no friends at all does anyone have any advice for me to try and sort myself out.

Im sorry if i have gone on a bit i just don't know who to turn to for advice thanks megan

[samanthasolo]

Megan, you should seek out a therapist and a support group! You need the help of a therapist to sort YOU out and a support group would provide you with a group of peers that you can possibly find those you can talk with, identify with, and most importantly the possibility of friendship without the fear of rejection! Good luck Hon! Thing usually have a way of working out if you find the right course of action and follow it!

[Beverley Sims]

Megan,I am sure you must have some acquaintances who you can be friends with.
Do not let your CDing take over as a major part of your life, get out, find a hobby or other interest.
Even train watching, you may meet others with similar interests.
It is not a joke, people go to the airport and record the aircraft registrations and see how many different ones they can collect.

I still have a book with a thousand vehicle registration numbers collected over twenty years ago.
Interesting to look back on.

What I am saying is, bust out of your shell.

[steeve]

megan pm me I think i can help you, I went through that at age 8,.

[stellatoo]

Hi Megan, I'm nearly 20yrs older than you and, apart from being more comfortable in myself, have yet to "find myself". Certainly at 32 I hadn't. You say your parents know; that's great (I'm presuming they're at least ok or it's a DADT situation?) and they'll probably support you -that's what folks are for and, unless you do something stupid or they're stupid that's how things tend to work out. Sometimes it takes longer for people to remember they're supposed to be good to each other but all's well in the end.
I've been reading a book where one of the characters is lamenting the fact that she didn't open up to people she knew because she thought they would reject her. Her thoughts dictated her behaviour and she wasted lots of time because she "already knew" what they would say/do rather than giving them the opportunity to relate to her on their terms. A lot of us are like that I think and it's a disservice to friends and family. I'm not saying you should tell people if you don't want to, just be sure why you don't want to. You may lose relationships though you'll be being true to yourself. I'm speaking as someone who has told family and friends and only lost one relationship because of my little hobby. In fact some friendships have blossomed! There is hope out there and I will refer you to the members here who have loving relationships with partners who willingly accept their crossdressing. It's not always as dark as you think.
If you want to go out is there an opportunity to visit other places on a holiday? Book a hotel room and be you?
In the first instance though take a breath, realise all the positives you have and don't do too much too soon trying to get out there.

[MarciManseau]

The only thing I can tell you is not to take advice from people you don't know. They may be totally unqualified to help you, and may in fact do more harm than good. Would you let a total stranger work on the brakes of your car? I'm sure you wouldn't, and your mental health is far more important than any car.

Please, please, please seek out a professional and get some real help. I'll help you with clothing issues, or with makeup, but not your life. I have no training for that.

[Carole]

Hi Megan, you don't say whereabouts in the UK you are, but rest assured there are many support groups all over the country; if you want to pm me I can try help put you in touch with any in your area. My own local group is Lynx Ladies, we meet monthly on the Lincs/Notts border if that is any help. And a belated welcome to the forum.

[Joanne f]

Hello Megan,
I quite agree in that it can be difficult to know exactly what is going on when it comes to CDing and where it might go to in the future but only time will tell you that so you need to relax a bit on that one, as far as no friends to CD with or just talk about it I think it may be well worth your while to join a support group as I would certainly not advise you to go out on your own until you are very confident with it and yourself.

[Katey888]

Hi Megan,

All good advice here regarding trying to get professional help - and I believe you were also going to a local Cd support group, no? That has to be a good starting point for you - perhaps they could also recommend experienced counsellors who could help.

You could also speak to your GP if you haven't already - that will be completely confidential and they may have in house counsellors who can at least start the process with you.

And try to take your time and take a pause over things without making any rash or poorly considered decisions. I realise that some of us do seem to have this uncontrollable urge, everything is controllable - you should be in control of you, and you should try to pace what happens.

Hope that helps - thinking of you and good luck

Katey x

[Kathy Smith]

Hi there it's megan again i am having alot of problems at the moment trying to figure out who i am you would have thought i would have found myself by now being 32 but as of yet i have not.

I am a cd that has been crossdressing for some time now but it is just getting stronger and stronger wanting to do it more often than not i want to go out and just be the person i want to be.

i have family my mum and my dad and 2 brothers the only people who know is my mum and dad my 2 brothers have no idea i have no friends that will support me with this come to it i have no friends at all does anyone have any advice for me to try and sort myself out.

Im sorry if i have gone on a bit i just don't know who to turn to for advice thanks megan

Hiya Megan
I've no idea where you are in the UK, but there is a lot of help available for you - more in some areas than others. Feel free to PM me if you feel like it.

[kimdl93]

My first and foremost advice is to get out and meet people. That's how you start making friends. Whether it's socializing at a BA, joining a recreational sports activity, through work or volunteering, you will meet new people and have the opportunity to make friends. The other stuff should be put on hold until you have started to experience a more active life.