It used to a lot more than of late. Since I came out to my wife and she has fully accepted me the urge to purge and the lack of desire just aren't there anymore. I think it's the lifting of the guilt portion that has eliminated that cycle for the most part and allowed me to enjoy being me more.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Very wise words Cheryl. I think that was the turning point for me as well.
Once I came out to my wife and we got thru the trying times afterwards.
that is when My life really changed.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
Certainly waxes and wanes for me. Used to get to the point of purging but not so much anymore.
I go long periods too and out of the blue I get this uncontrollable urge to dress. This happens at least once or twice a month.
It is on and off for me. There are months at a stretch I go without the desire to bring Sheryl out. I may occasionally think about it but mostly a passing urge. However, there are days when I want to be Sheryl all the time. Depends on a lot of factors I guess
Can I ask you all how important it would be to have someone in your life who gave you approval and acceptance if your wife completely rejects the crossdressing. What would contact with the approving and accepting person give you? Even if this contact was only online. I'm a GG btw. I guess what I'm asking is if that contact would fan the flame. An analogy would be like a hit of heroin. Would it cause the feminine feelings to wax not wane if shared online on a regular basis.
On again off again for me, I've been known to lose interest for months at a time, and then at times I will dress everyday, and stay that way for days at a time.
Having the time to play, or distractions by other interest have a lot to do with it.
Elizabeth, as far as your question, I've never felt it necessary to have any ones approval, But I'm going to do what it takes to keep my head on straight, so I'm going to dress, and I do that at home, I was ready to go it alone, had the wife not accepted me for who I am, I won't live a lie in my own home, it's bad enough keeping a front up for the rest of the world. Beyond her, the rest of the world can keep there opinion to themselves.
I know walking away from the marriage would have seemed harsh to some, but you have no idea what it's like to be transgendered, and have to suppress it, I was an emotional basket case when I tried, I didn't like me, and gave others reason to agree, and I would never want to go back there and be that person again, I would rather live alone, but having an accepting and understanding wife, I didn't have too.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
Sometimes life just gets in the way...other times because life gets in the way and gets stressful, I feel the overpowering need to dress.
It does for me. Sometimes I can' t wait to get the chance. Other times it seems like too much effort.
simply put....yes.
When I was younger, the urges and interest waxed and waned as reported by others. Guilt used to be a factor for me as well, typically coming on the heels (pun intended) of acting on the urges. I also went through a period in my mid 30's to late 40's when I had no urges and did not dress at all for almost 15 years (I have a theory about this, but am not sure...). Also as others report, I have always had a range of responsibilities and other interests to keep me busy, where there is no time or psychological space for dressing. However, over the last 10 years I manage to find time daily to dress and this aspect of me has become more important and fullfilling. With getting dressed daily there are no longer urges, just looking forward to getting home at the end of the day and having parts of the weekend fully to myself with other responsibilities met and I can just relax as Kate. I have noticed that dressing daily tempers the fog significantly. Overcoming any last traces of guilt has also helped with simply just enjoying this part of me daily, and Kate gradually has just become a part of me.
Kate
When younger different interests such as a new girlfriend will kill the urge for a while, but as the new girl gets a little boring so the pink fog returns.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Define wax and wane for me. It did change a bit when I told my wife. I felt very liberated and for a shortwhile I think I went a little crazy with it. At one point my wife asked me what do I need with all those bras? It has tapered off some and I feel a little relief. I didn't want to go too far and burn myself out on dressing.
I am always shopping though...
Oh yes Elizabeth I think that kind of attention acceptance and encouragement from a GG would fan the flames of feminine feelings, even if only online.Originally Posted by Elizabeth36
The opposite is true too. Like when a GG friend recently said "there's something male that's very much lacking in you..." then she called me a "crossdresser!" as if that were a curse word. I responded "yeah so what?" and acted like I didn't care. But actually, when a GG says stuff like that it leaves a mark makes me feel bad and discourages me from being Annaliese.
So yeah it would be nice to get GG encouragement now and then.
yes it does
Yes, it certainly does with me. I've also found that if I get an opportunity to dress for several (5+) days or more I like to get back to drab mode during part of that time.
Jenn A --- nothing fancy, just me.
The Pink Fog had been pretty thick here for a few months. That caused me quite a bit of angst as crossdressing makes my spouse very unhappy. I had many thoughts lately about cruising the thrift stores in search of a beige skirt, frilly white blouse, and chocolate jacket. About a week ago the fog started to dissipate. Today I had a day long opportunity to go shopping but was able to resist the urge, probably because of the lifting fog.
Mixed emotions:
I really enjoy living in the fog, except for the hurt it would cause if my spouse knew it was on my mind. Without the pink fog, the anxiety is gone, but also the enjoyment.
Yes, it does. For me, having just finished 11 days working under my car in subzero and below zereo temps, with four layers of clothes on, i have been way too torn up, bruised, cut, strained, and mentally and emotionally frayed, to even think about dressing, until i heal up.
Always have the desire to dress and do so 4 or so times a week. Just occasionally I think that the effort to transform is too much. I still make the effort and I'm pleased when I do.
For some, the desire ebbs and flows, it is not unusual at all. Nothing to worry about.
Ive lost the inclination to dress for over six months now, still think about dressing but when time comes just cant be bothered.
Thanks for all the replies, girls! It's nice to know that others experience this as well. Since I live alone I have all my things spread out over the apartment, so I am always around my clothes and wig forms etc. And I only own women's underwear so there's that. I guess I sometimes get overwhelmed with the thought of putting in effort.
i have experienced this "waxing and waning" of desire for a long time. At its most extreme it has contributed to my purging my wardrobe, but that was a long time ago. Now the peaks and valleys are smoother and during the periods when I am less interested I continue to dress in feminine underwear and I always sleep in a nightdress. I think it is the special effort needed to dress and put on makeup that at times feels like it is more trouble than enjoyment. This is one part of the cross dressing experience for which I have never seen a satisfactory explanation.
I been dressing in women's clothing since as early as 6yo and it has always been an on and off thing, except for pantyhose, which I do have a fetish for. However, as I get older (45 now) the xdressing swing gets stronger as well as sticks around longer. I use to go through purges and hate myself for dressing or needing to dress. I now have a very supportive and encouraging wife, so even in my downswings, she will insist I dress in fem... partially because she likes it, the other is it calms me and she likes the calmer me. I still have not fully accepted it much to her frustration. If you ever met me outside, you would never guess I would crossdress... For me, its shame at times I need to, and I do mean NEED to. I am still trying to understand it...
To be overly simple. YES, but the feeling is always there. I just don't want to be bothered at times.
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