Trace evidence removal

[AnnaBMarie]

My SO is getting more resentful of the time I spend as Anna, so dressing has become a more clandestine effort in the past few months. As I try to be considerate and only dress when she works, I've found I have to make sure the telltale signs are gone when she gets home. In addition to the following, what trace evidence do you have to eliminate? Sometimes I feel like a CSI in reverse.

Marks in the carpet from high heels.
Residual fingernail polish in the cuticle area.
Mascara, eye liner, and eye shadow bits.
Indents in the ear lobes from clip earrings.
And the real biggy, marks from bra straps. As I grow older and my skin loses elasticity, the strap marks take hours to disappear.

[Kate Simmons]

If you wear a wig, there is always a crease on the forehead caused by wearing it. To minimize that, use a cut down panty liner under the wig on the forehead. Also, traces of fragrance if used. Some products mask that such as a spray used by oil burner technicians for fuel oil smell.

[Kristy 56]

Reminds me when I started dressing "borrowing"" my sisters clothes. Had to make sure everything went back right where I found it. Always was afraid that I'd forget a key detail. You seem to have it down pat.

[Jenniferathome]

wouldn't it be better to discuss what is bothering her? You will never get it all and she will notice something. better to talk than walk on eggshells

[Cheryl T]

Don't forget your internet history in Internet Explorer (or any other browser).


As for traces of fragrance, don't forget the aroma of Acetone for removing nail polish. A little Fabreeze helps there.


Lipstick traces on glasses (and cigarette butts if you smoke). Discard promptly all the cleanup items (cotton balls, etc) after removing makeup.


If you take pictures (digital) and use McAfee for your virus protection then set up the "Vault" that they offer as part of the protection and keep your pics there.


And yes...been there, done that, and being a bit OCD to go with the CD part I have spent lots of time thinking about all this...LOL.

[franlee]

Seems as if the work and worries are far greater than the experience. If you can't sit down and work through the details and make it pleasurable, I suggest removing one of the key elements. It appears there are 3, you, her and CDing. I just couldn't live in a relationship that required me to hide in my own house. But that's me and everyone has to do what they have to do.

[Laura912]

Hide the fact that you took a shower in the middle of the day. After removing all makeup, rub your face with a white Kleenex to see if there are any traces. Especially with lips. Be careful what is thrown in the trash.

[kelly10]

LOL
CSI in reverse.Exactly. Most of us in our lives at some point or other have trod this path. It can be nerve wracking, especially those 30 second blisteringly quick, heart thumping, wardrobe changes. "Oh nothing mom. Just sitting around watching the game." LOL . Never have so many, gotten so much off, in so few seconds.....without a ripple. Damn we're good aren't we?

[Katey888]

Nice one Anna - once again I find myself not alone...

But things can become so comfortable and natural... for example... almost walking in with a cup of tea for my wife wearing a girly, beady bracelet and realising just at the last minute - you know when something nags in your mind and you just can't place it...

I think one day something will slip - and I can't help but wonder if that's the dark side of Katey deliberately trying to out herself - "... Nothing man-made will ever keep me a prisoner! HA!"

I think she may be a force to be reckoned with....

Katey x

[Jaylyn]

I read posts like these and just laugh, I feel so blessed to have a wife that helps me when I want to dress..... I just love her...
On the topic though it sounds like you have it pretty much down pat. Put a small cotton patch or Kleenex tissue around the clip on the earring clip. Just cut it to fit . Kinda evens out the clip.

[Peta-Downunder]

Oh I am so glad I have my own place now! I always lived in fear of this before, that something would accidentally be left out. I had a very non understanding wife who thought I had a serious issue and needed fixing.

Got caught out with a slip in the dryer once, the static had it caught in the top and I didn't remove it when done, when she came home and used it next she found it, big fireworks, so watch out for that one if you use a dryer.

[julia marie]

The traces of nail polish are the toughest for me. It does seem to help to put on a layer of clear first to fill in any cracks in the nails, etc., so the pink or red doesn't get in there. But, for me it can still take days to find all the little hiding places that have a pink tinge to them. At least marks from straps and wigs disappear in an hour or so. Scents like perfume and polish remover? Women pick up on those like a dog on raw meat.

[kimdl93]

wouldn't it be better to discuss what is bothering her? You will never get it all and she will notice something. better to talk than walk on eggshells

If she's increasingly resentful, to use your words, then the problem isn't in the telltale signs. She knows what you're doing while she's absent. No amount of clean up will ease her discomfort. As Jenn suggested, reasonable and rational, mature conversation is likely to be more constructive that a careful cleanup.

[27th Jennifer]

Stray wig hairs, drips of foundation on the vanity, marks from dropping a mascara wand on the counter, used makeup remover pads, the list goes on. My wife is generally cool with it, but I just don't feel comfortable leaving evidence.

Ana Rae

[Vanessa5]

Although my relationship is best described as DADT my wife will blow a fuse if I leave anything out. I have become very adept at making sure everything is put away.

[Stevie]

wouldn't it be better to discuss what is bothering her? You will never get it all and she will notice something. better to talk than walk on eggshells

I can relate to what Anna is doing. Sometimes it is better to walk on eggshells.

[ChristinaK]

It's comforting to know that others go through the same things I do! We go to these great pains because we love our wives and don't want to hurt their view of us, even if they are aware, as in my wife's case. She has her limits and doesn't want to see or think of me like that. I can respect that. We also want to avoid conflict, which is natural. I'm thankful for what she will allow me to do. Full presentation is not it!

I get great anxiety when cleaning up, and the makeup on the towel even after washing seems to be a recurring problem, so now I use hers instead of mine. Even if she found evidence, it would not be a big issue, but I feel obligated by respect for her so I do what I can. Also don't want to push my luck!

[Vanessa Rose]

Sure,


I can tell if my children have a party at the house by the smell, a beer cap, how things are arraigned etc. It is only a matter of time, before you get caught (hopefully I am wrong). Even if you have done this for thirty years and been successful, deceit and hiding part of yourself, will likely be exposed. I could not do it. It is not who I am. I don't live in your shoes, because I could not. I have to tell the truth to my partner.


I would rather be single and beautifully being me, than to be married in deceit and lies. If that is what you are doing, then call it like it is. To do this to a spouse or partner is terrible. Especially if you get caught. That is my opinion, I will accept the hate comments but don't try to sugar coat the action by any fancy words or hostility towards me about not knowing what your situation is. I do, you choose not to tell your spouse the truth about yourself and this truth is a HUGE deal for many women. If it has worked for you for 100 years, and you are still undetected, that does not make it right, I bet in most peoples minds would be heresy if found out by accident, and would likely be devastating, if the unsuspecting spouse/partner were to uncover 'her".


I think it is wrong to discuss hiding the truth. It exposes exactly the same scorn and hatred as some of the exact actions that many here say give us a bad name. Now for the disclaimer, I get it that your situation is not the same as mine, I also get it that I don't walk in your shoes. I also get it that you don't want to destroy your marriage and or ...... but you are not telling your best friend, something and hiding something that if you caught them doing something similar, you yourself would be devastated.


Anna,


You live in a not so uncommon situation, and only you know how to address your wife to understand more about her feelings. My thought is, there is likely good and bad times to start the conversation off with your SO. Take advantage of those moments sooner rather than later. I wish you the best, and thank you for sharing this story.


Now for the hate mail.


Vanny

[Adriana Moretti]

Great question...I actually just did an article on this subject...here is a few that were not already mentioned
1. Stray Wig Hairs look VERY carefully.....they are there.
2, the trash..that tissue with your foundation on it...that q-tip with eyeliner...make a seperate bag of garbage for your stuff.
3. the light switches and walls,microwave, and the fridge door ...if you happen to have makeup on your finger and you touch any of these...

[giuseppina]

Looks to me like a mature discussion with your partner with or without a nonjudgemental, qualified and licensed marriage counsellor present is the best road ahead, Anna. I don't see anything but more resentment on both sides ahead if you continue on the course you're on.

[MissTee]

It's very heartbreaking to read this kind of thread. Much of who we are is wrapped up in our need to dress, and having to be so clandestine about it just feels wrong. Sorry that you even have to ask for help on this.

[Taylor Ray]

Yes I often stumble out of bed and start running errands smelling like a college girl with eye shadow on. Most people are super cool where I live but they always give me this interesting look for a moment, like saying "wow. okay. cool. you smell nice and have cool eye makeup. have a great day."

and I think to myself "man, they seemed a bit curious, but hey, the world is a strange place"

and then back at home I catch a glimpse of myself as David Bowie in the mirror and am like, "oh s**t"

[Beverley Sims]

I need a good perfume remover.
The closest I have come to is a room deodorizer.
It is called pine, now I smell like a Christmas Tree.

[WandaRae2009]

Pretty much the same list once she came home early and I made a quick move.an fell.on my behind leaving hugs heel scuff marks on the kitchen floor. The wife blamed my daughter. I felt guilty for that but if I told her it was me, the reaction would have likely been worse

[Amyy]

When I dress I always make such a mess with all my stuff everywhere. I always freak out that I've left a bra or nail polish or something just sitting on my bed in the mad scramble to pack everything away again.