Drag vs. Drab and incorporating them both in to your everyday attire

[Billiejosehine]

Since Nov. I have been slowly incorporating women's attire within my male clothes. I first started with underdressing, then added pants, then a shirt, and then socks. I would wear a men's shirt and jacket on top to hide the clothes underneath. I recently bought a women's jacket that looks neutral and got rid of the men's shirt on top. I'm now down to just wearing men's shoes. I'm now looking for women's shoes that look neutral so I can incorporate them. Which at that point I'll be completely dressing full time.

My question to everyone is if there is anyone else that incorporates both drab and drag attire (excluding underdressing) when going out in public or work? Do you incorporate any type if accessories within your appearance i.e. earrings, rings, braclets, necklaces, painted finger nails, etc. What kinds of reactions do you get, if there are any?

I'm looking to get my ears pierced, but feel reluctant because I don't know how it would look on me in male mode and how people would react. I would also like to paint my finger nails other then clear polish, but I'm not sure how people would react, especially work and the families I work with.

[Katey888]

Billie Jo - that's an interesting approach - fully dressed but no-one would really know...

But I can understand why - and you are right to be sensitive to how others would perceive you, particularly in a work context. I think it's important you continue to be sensitive in that way. I've worn rings since before I was married, but never earrings, although I think studs or subtle rings would be widely accepted (3" hoops, probably not..) - and painted nails would just be a bit of a Goth look, no? As long as they weren't scarlet -something more subtle - but again, keep your sensitivity in mind. It's not worth risking a job for.
I'm on the lookout for some casual boots I could wear - perhaps just a shortish 2-3" inch heel - with jeans. I have worn heeled boots out a couple times, but only when it was dark with few people around - still a nice feeling - I'd just like something I could wear anytime.

Good luck with your search -let us know how it goes.

Katey x

[Lorileah]

I used to blend a lot of things. I had earrings, rings, bracelets, trouser socks, shoes (slip ons), Jeans

No one noticed or said a word

[teri g]

About half the time I'm in women's jeans and sometimes women's slip-on shoes (no heels). Both stealth because of work and dadt.

[Anna H]

This so-called "stealth" dressing (read that at a few other places) is
what i do these days.

Women's jeans, t-shirt and work shoes....and I'm fully dressed
everywhere i go. My ears are pierced and nobody ever notices.
My hair is long, but tied back in a ponytail, i don't stand out.

I'm in a rural area that's Not-at-all cool with anyone CD'ing...so
it must work better than i think, because nobody ever said anything
--and they would where I am.

I may wear one earring, but both...not here. I do use a pink colored
ponytail band...but if it's been noticed, i do not know.

I'm not much for jewelry when I'm out, (but I am when I'm in!) so
that doesn't add any potential problem for me.

I think you're in a far more progressive area than I am, so if it works
here...(people at McDonalds for lunch wear 14" bowie knives)...then
you're good to go as far as light accessories/pierced ears I would
think.

I'd push it a little further, but I Do need my behind intact. I don't
want to play with too much fire where I am....

[KayleeTaylor]

Here is my "drab" look. All androgynous women's clothes, but with super girly hat, gloves and scarf. Oh and my nails always have some sort of design on them.

I got more "looks" when I tried dressing really androgynous, but over-the-top girly without attempting to present female, nobody thinks twice

[heatherdress]

Billie - I have started doing this recently and love it.

By accident, I left on some eye makeup a few times that I thought I had removed. I missed eyeliner, both above and below my eyes. Another time I had a subtle smoky eye look from residual mascara. No one said anything and I did not know until my wife finally tipped me off. She seemed to enjoy it and was impressed that no one ever said anything - at the movies, shopping and dining out. I have recently used subtle eye makeup and blush at night - I like it - and it is fun to do.

I have started to wear my femme jeans and like the cut and feel and look and knowledge that they are made for women.

The most fun has been my shoes. My wife actually encouraged me to wear a pair of my female boots with jeans when we went to the movies one night. I wore a longer pair of boot cut jeans and my boots were not noticeable. I then wore a higher stacked heel, almost 3 inches, spent hours in a mall, running errands, dining out, pumping gas. Felt great. We actually went into Nine West at the mall and bought a pair of black boots to wear en drab.

No seems to notice or care - except me. My drab attire is spiced up - maybe drab plus or Heather-lite.

[njcddresser]

I'm incorporating more and more feminine clothes into my drab wardrobe. Take today for example...

Underdressed with a cute pair of panties. Wore size 8 skinny jeans and a gray woman's turtle neck. Went out shopping and to get my oil changed. A little eye shadow and mascara finished the outfit. I hardly ever wear guy jeans anymore and seem to be wearing more and more women's tops as well.

So much fun!

[samantha rogers]

Bags designed for men are all over the stores now, ostenibly for laptops, but with pads and tablets taking over many of the bags are now getting much smaller. Calvin Klein stores carry a large selection, as do most designers. DSW shoe stores always have them, and as mentioned before, Target has a line of inexpensive messenger type bags that are great. I saw one there yesterday that was obviously designed for a pad, but was indistinguishable from a purse. I have several that I use almost daily, from a wonderful leather bag fir my laptop to a tiny canvas one I use with a mini ipad. I love my bags...tee hee.

[MsVal]

[...] DSW shoe stores always have them, and as mentioned before, Target has a line of inexpensive messenger type bags that are great. I saw one there yesterday that was obviously designed for a pad, but was indistinguishable from a purse.[...]

Thanks for the lead Samantha. I believe a weekend shopping trip is in my future.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Rachelakld]

been to shops after dark on occasions with leggings and boys t shirt (normally black leggings but a couple of times with leopard print) as I couldn't be bothered getting changed from what I was wearing at home.
Often wear girls skin jeans
I'm under the impression people just think I'm crazy

[ChristinaK]

Over the last several months I have gone out many times in various outfits. A couple of times with stuffed bra and womens jacket, but mostly with light eye makeup, blush, light colored lipstick, eyebrow liner. Womens tops that present fairly androgynous, like mock turtleneck sweaters, polo's, even if they are girly colors and khaki or white ladies Dockers. I've had a few looks, but wasn't sure if it was my imagination or not. Twice I went through a drive through with filled bra, crew neck sweater with large horizontal stripes and a cardigan on top and didn't even get a strange look. But, one time I did that in normal makeup. My male hair was the only male presentation. When I got to the window I was greeted by three teenage girl workers that stared and giggled. I just giggled back. It didn't really bother me and I was as amused as they were. I think that unless it is really glaring, most people don't notice. I have been so surprised to go out in a filled bra under a sweater, wearing an androgynous ladies jacket, even open a few inches and the only person that seemed to notice was a male SA, who gazed at my chest, then gave me a knowing smile as he gave me a receipt. It's just so thrilling and fun!

[prettytoes]

Panties 24/7. I only wear women's jeans-low rise bootcut, knee high socks...bright neon or cute patterns, shaved legs and armpits, women's sneakers, and I just discovered how comfortable it is to wear a cami under my shirt (have to buy more of those!) Oh yeah, Secret deodorant and an occasional spritz of perfume or VS body spray.

[Tracii G]

Been doing that for quite a few years and no real problems.
You think everyone will notice but they don't or just don't care.
If you do it step by step your friends will get so used to it it makes no difference.

[KayleeTaylor]

Yeah, just do it already. It's so awesome You will feel a lot of relief and happiness. Get out of your rut, be true to yourself.

[samantha rogers]

Anytime, Val. If it helps, the small ones I sae were at the Target in Troy by Crooks and Maple. Good luck!

[DorothyElizabeth]

Being a civil engineer, the "uniform" is khakis, oxford cloth blue shirt and Navy blazer or a down vest. I buy all my khakis from Lands End Women's clothing, and the same with oxford cloth shirts and my down vest. No one has ever noticed that the buttons, snaps and fly are all fastened the "wrong" way. My vest is black, and except for the snaps being opposite from men's, and the slight darts around the body, looks just like male clothing. For shoes, because of OSHA regs, and because I often have to go out on work sites on short notice, I (and, for that matter all the GG women in the office) wear standard heavy work boots or safety toe oxfords. IN the summer, I substitute polo shirts for the oxford cloth long sleeved ones. Women's shirts, for the most part have no breast pocket, but that does not matter. I started carrying a coach leather bag when I was in college, and a pipe smoker, and have never bothered to switch. The only difference is what is in munine now. - Which makes me think I should start a new thread - What's in your purse,. and what kind do you carry?

[Rachel Morley]

Yep ... me too. All of my clothes in boy mode are women's but they are subtle in style and color so that they don't stand out too much as too girly. A typical outfit for me is underdressing with bra and panties, women's fitted jeans, a slightly scooped tee or long sleeved tee in a neutral color, a plain colored hoodie, girly ankle socks, and white tennis shoes. I wear all of these to work and no one has said anything to me. Outside of work I change the color of my tee to be more girly and I usually wear a hoodie that has a somewhat girly pattern on it. I also add a quasi girly baseball cap and gold stud earrings.

I enjoy presenting as a girly guy as I think I'd go insane if I had to wear only men's clothes. I have a supportive wife who is ok with the way I dress.

[RebeccaLynne]

I would also like to paint my finger nails other then clear polish, but I'm not sure how people would react, especially work and the families I work with.

Funny you mentioned that particular subject. My crew, one male, one female, and myself (kinda straddling that gender line) discussed the topic of nail length today. Longer nails appearing feminine, while short nails were decidedly masculine.

I merely said, "Well, it's not the length that matters... it's whether or not they're wearing nail polish".

[queenie]

Funny that you should post this because that's what I've been doing over the years. I've been looking more androgynous and my friends chalk it up to me being "metro" for the most part. Some tease me a little about it, but it doesn't bother me in the least. Except for work where I have to wear a traditional suit, I wear relatively little men's clothing these days.

[JennyMarie]

You know, after reading through this thread I suddenly remembered a comment my ex-wife made a couple times while her and I were together:
"What's with all the guys wearing women's jeans, lately? It's like a new fashion trend or something..."

Hmm....

[Lynn Marie]

Being happily unattached allows me to dress any time and go anywhere I like. So that really takes the compulsion and obsession out of CDing. When I want to be exotic and erotic, I get dressed enfemme. Otherwise boy clothes are comfortable and just fine!

[devida]

Hey Billie: In public I usually wear women's pants (3/4 length and tighter than men's or way looser) - at home I wear skirts and dresses. I wear make up that is obviously there if you want to look but is actually quite subtle. I wear mascara, lipstick, blush, a tinted moisturizer and I do my eyebrows. I do my nails with clear varnish. I wear my hair long or in a bun. I often wear women's blouses. I wear tights and stockings and, of course, panties or shape wear and a bra. I have piercings and tattoos. I'm not trying to pass as a woman. I'm not trying to pass as a man. I am wearing clothes that reflect the way I feel, which is non-binary or genderqueer or just plain queer. I am constantly amazed by how very little people care how I present myself. People take whatever cue they perceive and make an unconscious judgment about gender. Every now and then people think I am a woman because of the way I dress or because of the way I talk and act but mostly they use male pronouns when they describe me or talk to me. I suppose I would rather they did not identify me by gender at all but I understand how ingrained this is and hard it is for people to just look at each other as people or just the gender we present or don't at the moment. That's OK. The way I see myself has very little to do with the way other people see me. I've never been so happy as I am since I stopped trying to be what I thought other people wanted me to be. Wear whatever makes you happy! Most people could really not care less what you look like. And if they think you are funny, weird, ridiculous or a scandal, well that's their problem, isn't it?

[Jaylyn]

I don't do any outside the body wearing of the women's clothing when out side the farm.. I do under dress a lot. It's usually though panties, hose and painted toe nails. I do have a few silky tops that I get away with by wearing them under my regular work shirts of course they also help in the colder weather. I have painted my finger nails from dressing in the mornings and not wanting to have to remove it went to the farm. I would keep my leather work gloves on the dash board of my pickup to grab and put on if I saw any one driving that way. I can always grab a set of fencing pliers or throw a few bales of hay with the gloves if someone should drive up and they would never suspect my nails are painted if I was out working. This is about all I ever do on the outside unless I go on the back porch of our house which I have fully dressed but neighbors are a long way away. Being near a smaller town I must remain a closeted but adventurous cd.

[Dana L]

Oh yea, been doing that for quite some time now. I'm slowly phasing out men's clothes all together. I always underdress and all my jeans and shorts are women's. A lot of my tops are now women's and most of my shoes too. People don't even seem to notice that most everything I wear is from the women's department. I've even worn capri's and flats and still nothing.