working at the airport

[Princess29]

Today at work at Brisbane domestic airport, I was operating one of the x-rays (I do the equivalent of the TSA), one of my female colleagues walked over to me and wanted to say about a search she just had completed.
Now, please know that there was no tone or I didn't detect any mocking in what she said but what she said was......

"you know that search I just did (actually I didn't see her do it)?, it was a guy and he had a whole bunch of chick stuff in his bag. I was thinking "are you a crossdresser?" but then his girlfriend came over and that explained things".


Those were her words (she's early 20's). I had been thinking recently of outing myself to her and this has had no influence over my decision to do it. I am mentioning it as more of a case of "well here's an opportunity" but I decided not to do it and maybe never will tell her.
I guess it's just a case of "if only you knew"

[lingerieLiz]

Great story! When I travel I have both sex's clothes in my bags. When I travel with my wife we put our clothes spread across several suitcases so if one or two come up missing we have something to wear until we can get more.

[ChristineNYC]

Well. it's pretty clear that coworker finds someone CD/TG as entertaining. As how important is to us, at times, to 'come clean' with some people in our lives, it's plain to see that she is not one of those... at least not right now. At least not until she's been educated..

[Princess29]

There wasn't any comments like "why would a guy have high heels in his bag?" (I don't know what he did or didn't have, I wasn't involved in the bag search). I found that when I started years ago, what happened frequently was that if a guy happened to have some makeup items in his bag (no doubt carrying them for his partner but it really doesn't matter either way) and if I had to search the bag anyway and removed them, the guys would feel inclined to have to say in an often panicked sort of tone "its not mine" and I would tell them that it really doesn't matter either way and they could walk through in full drag for all I care. Those items just had to removed from their suitcases before going through the x-rays. We see all sorts of stuff in people's bags and we are not out to intentionally humiliate anyone. Sure, accidents happen but its not intentional

[Chickhe]

The fact that she mentioned someone's personal belongings is wrong and unprofessional to me. She should have been looking for dangerous items, not trying to figure out who the lipstick belonged to. Suppose, in this whole scenario she missed something important... ...you should just tell her she needs to get out more if she finds lipstick in a man's suitcase unusual.

[sandra-leigh]

Exchanging information between official agents about professional strategy is, as far as I am concerned, fair game, if done without mocking or intent to gossip. The other agent saw something unusual and afterwards obtained feedback about the handling of the situation.

Lipstick probably qualifies as a "gel" (a "suspension" might be more technical for most lipsticks) and so would be of interest in larger quantities

[Stephanie Miller]

The question that I have is - in a situation where 90% of the males (a percentage that has been commonly used but probably by no means accurate) are straight hetro non-c,d/tg tended and would more than likely just be packing his female partners luggage for lack of space in her own - then why would the female agent draw the conclusion the man is one of the 10%? Why is that conclusion foremost in her mind? Is she drawn there for some reason? Is someone in her life a CD and that is why it is first thought?

[mikiSJ]

I once had to book a one-way flight and I had a nighty and panties in my carry-on. Because I it was a one-way ticket, I was flagged for additional bag inspection. They rummage through the bag and didn't bat an eye when they encountered the nighty. I managed to keep any sweat or fidgeting from being noticeable.

A word of caution: if you have anything in your bags you want to keep private, book a round-trip and cancel the return leg when you get to your destination.

[Anita S]

I don't find it unusual for coworkers to discuss what happens at work, and really don't care if customs official has a laugh with their coworker about whatever they see in my bag, as long as it's not in my face it doesn't hurt anybody.

But I would've loved to see the face of the guy in customs when he opened my wifes bag a few years ago, she said he was so embarrased (as was she). In the end all he managed to say was "Have a nice stay" and let her through

[Princess29]

As I have mentioned, I don't know why she was searching in his bag, I don't know what my colleague operating the x-ray saw or thought they saw. For domestic flights in Australia, you don't even have to be a passenger to enter the secure area but you are subject to the same rules of entry as anyone.
We have more of a problem with people not following simple requests and wanting to argue over the smallest issues than if a guy might have feminine items in his bag. If I had a dollar for every time I've been sworn at, abused or insulted, I could have retired years ago.

[Marcelle]

Hi there,

IMHO I would not read too much into her comment as being anti or pro CD. It was a knee jerk curiosity statement unless she was being sarcastic or laughing about it (but you said you detected no tone). Let's face it girls, we are a rare group and while the population writ large mainly knows about us not many have seen one of us up close "en femme" or "en boy". So it is not surprising when someone suspects that they might want to share that bit of information with someone. I remember the first time I saw who I thought was a CDer I didn't just go "Meh" and forget. I told my wife that night that I was fairly certain it was a guy dressed as girl. As I am sure I am the topic of many dinner conversations after I have been out.

So, does she not like CDers "perhaps" but then again "perhaps not". Should you come out to her it really depends. Mainly how much do you trust this person? If she tells someone how will it affect you personally and professionally? If you are truly unsure of her feelings try bringing it up in conversation. As you said you see all sorts of things at the Airport. You could try something like "Hey you know the guy with the girl items in the bag the other day, well I once saw a guy dressed up as a woman" See where that conversation goes.

Hugs

Isha

[bimini1]

Is there any reason to think she may suspect the same thing about you and was trying to "read" what your response would be?

[Michelle (Oz)]

Well Princess stand by next week. I'm passing through Brisbane domestic and will be femme . I've also done so regularly in the past wearing a corset with steel bones.

In every case I've found the female security staff thoroughly professional and quite engaging. I would be surprised if those involved didn't share the experience with colleagues. Must make an interesting divergence from the norm.

[Beverley Sims]

I would leave it at that also.
I do not let my private life get too involved with work.

[kimdl93]

I see no opportunity there. It could be kinda creepy to impose that information on a twenty something who is little more than a casual acquaintance.

[Amyy]

maybe she's on to you and was trying to give you a chance to come out??

[anonymousinmaryland]

A good thread, indeed.

[Patty F]

Don't know if she suspected that you were a CD'er but maybe since she is in her 20's maybe she hadn't seen that before and was just sharing something she found funny or different. I have often thought of warring a bra when traveling (without forms) but afraid the x-ray would trigger a body search or something.

[MarciManseau]

If she was so anxious to tell you about that incident, then I'm sure she might tell everyone that you CD'ed if you opened up to her. Be careful.

[JenniferYager]

I would view it as an opportunity for discussion. I've had plenty of times where someone has given me a comment like that, and I've turned it around. For example, I had an employee that smelled bad (he didn't shower) and his supervisor was chuckling about it in the hallway. I immediately pulled him aside and had a chat about it. He thought it was funny until I challenged him to do right by the employee, pull that person aside and tell them to shower more often. The focus wasn't the smell, it was that the supervisor was acting cowardly and not telling the employee that what he wasn't doing (showering) was having a negative effect on the work environment and on how people perceived him. A day and a shower later, we got him on the right track and all parties benefited.

Folks in their twenties need professionalism discussions. Don't ever be afraid to challenge their thinking. Too often we think that we're done growing by 23 or 24, when in reality we have a lot of learn. You might be the first person to challenge their perception. Anytime I see behavior that is border line unprofessional, I pull that person aside and we chat. Not a scathing, one-way, "you suck and are dumb" chat, but more of a discussion of how you'll be judged on your actions by others. It works wonders.

I recommend if she says something like that again, or perhaps it comes up at a lunch hour, to totally engage on the conversation. You might be surprised at the positive in the end.

[SherriePall]

I think that all that happened is that she was drawing a conclusion and then the girlfriend followed. Your coworker was probably a bit embarrassed about it or felt stupid because she jumped to a conclusion and almost immediately had to backtrack when the girlfriend showed up.
That's my take on it.
Should you out yourself to her? I'll leave that up to you.

[teri g]

Well said Jennifer. It was indeed an opportunity to enlighten a young adult, especially on a topic that you are very familiar with. Perhaps you'll have (or can make) an opportunity to revisit the topic and inform her of the time you encountered a male fully en femme or found breast forms in a male-traveling-alone's carry-on etc, even if you fabricate the story to make your point.

[Princess29]

I didnt really have time to persue the conversation further as I was involved with another task. This 20 something year old happens to be openly gay and I know sexual preference is not the same as gender identity.

[Robin777]

I doubt that she suspects that you are a CD. Just remember she is in her early 20's. Like it was mentioned, it was probably a knee jerk reaction. Some people that age still have not learned the art of being tactful.

[Princess29]

I guess I should have said that I have been hinting at trying to make sense of something to her, something I just need to accept about myself (yes, crossdressing) but have not actually said the words. I have said that its not a case of being gay and she has been wondering what it is when we talk although the mention of her bag search came out of nowhere, it wasn't a follow up to a conversation just before the event or anything like that