I accepted myself when I really realized and understood that I was powerless over my gender. I don't control it - it IS me. I became willing to explore it where ever it led me - to the point where I'm now transitioning. For many here, it means a far shorter journey, to accepting that they will partially or fully present as a woman anywhere from rarely, to quite frequently.
As for the opinions of others - they just don't matter. Yes, it's worrisome that you could lose relationships over this. But consider:
1. You likely have plenty of real character defects that can end a relationship
2. This isn't your character defect - the lack of acceptance is the rest of the world's character defect.