Many (most?) of the time that wives support us it doesn't pan out through an actual transition. The heart is in the right place but they didn't marry a woman. There are cases of course where this is not true, but don't count your chickens...
Also Vanessa you said something interesting about being "stuck"... if you are bi gendered or dual gendered in nature, you are far from stuck...maybe you need to make adjustments but that's a perfectly fine place to be
... remember its not about whether you self identify as transwhatever, its whether you can feel yourself as a viable real person and you are the one that needs to sleep nights...