Two last things

[Diana Bain]

My evolution from the closet is almost three years old. Four years ago I never dreamed I'd be were I am today. I've been out many times, but there's one thing I haven't done....dine in a restaurant. For some reason it's outside my comfort zone. Why, I wish I knew...I've talked with people, used the ladies room, shopped and stood up and walked in a room of 450+ people during a Halloween dinner. Second, which I feel more comfortable with is...I want to try stand up comedy e- femme during open mike night at a local comedy club. The material I think is pretty damn funny since it deals with being transgender and sex. I know some of you have done stand up, any advice would be appreciated. Also, those of you who have dined out...your thoughts would be appreciated too.

[Adriana Moretti]

I would come see your show....as far as dinning...scope out some very intimate dimly lit places...i found a few nice ones in my area that ive seen gurls at

[Rachelakld]

I have quite a few "Coffee Club" outlets that do a good evening meal, I've been there with only a young couple (early in the week), and also with about 40 people (Thursday or Friday just after pay day). Also dinned in at Subway (probably 2 other customers). Dinned at a few "family" restaurants during weekend lunch but probably quieter mid-week.
My main problem at restaurants, is that a lady doesn't need such a big plate of food. I never wear a corset to dinner or else I would only fit the lettuce leaf

[windycissy]

It can be uncomfortable dining alone, so go where a single woman won't stand out: a food court at the mall for example. My favorite, if you live in or near a big city, is a hotel restaurant, where single women on business trips are commonplace, and you can wear something career-girl nice. Bring a magazine or your iPhone to amuse yourself while you're waiting for your entrée, treat yourself to a glass of wine, and enjoy the experience of being waited on, you deserve it!

[Jorja]

To bad I don't live near by. I would come pick you up and take you to the most popular restaurant in town. We would have a wonderful meal then hit the hottest clubs in town until they closed down. I am sure you would never shy away from another restaurant again.

[Beverley Sims]

It would make a lovely party evening to celebrate with you and others, maybe some day.

[Isabella77]

Don't know about dining out.
I write songs and sometimes go to opened mics (not en femme). To me it seems like you have to develop a stage presence. You really have to develop a persona while performing that may not necessarily be an accurate representation of you. It's like you have to show a part of yourself that you want people to see and forget about everything else. Usually when I'm doing really well at opened mic it's because I'm telling myself I'm a rock star and I know it too.
You could try practicing karaoke...that is if you can make yourself a rock star.
I doesn't really matter if you suck as long as you're having fun anyways. You can always make your audience believe that you're better than you are. Look at just about anybody in music these days.

[Katey888]

I'm sure you'll get there Diana...

I can't offer experience being en femme but I sure have eaten in a lot of restaurants in the US - hotels are good, but you have to look business like to not look out of place. But I've eaten alone in lots of small restaurants - the US has so many and almost always virtually empty if you pick the right time.

Check out a restaurant first for lighting and where you want to sit - I always like to sit in a corner or against a wall and watch people. It's great entertainment!

As for open mike.... just watch me running for the hills! You need more experienced advice for that - but I wish you luck!

Katey x

[Rhonda Darling]

The first time, especially alone for the first time, is always difficult. My personal recommendations, having done it on business trips, is to choose restaurants that don't draw the high energy crowds. No small male dominated bars or pubs (family places are ok), NO sports bars with a load of loaded college age guys traveling in packs, no place that doesn't have enough people and staff to keep the collective calm. That said, I've had great experiences when I've not been read by the wait staff, and great times when every server, hostess, and member of the kitchen staff has walked by, or come to see if I need anything -- obviously I'd been read and the topic of back-of-the-house discussion. In the latter situations, I usually ask one or two "how am I doing" or "am I passing"? By taking them into my confidence, which requires confidence, I can educate them and let them know that I know they know, and that I'm fine with it.

Your mileage may differ.

Rhonda

[Lynn Marie]

Go make friends with a bunch of CD girlfriends. They make great dining companions and a ready audience and support group for your stand up. Going out alone is fine for trying to prove you can "pass", but doing things together is just way too much fun!

[Ms. Laura]

Ohhhh, I know what you mean. Enjoying a nice meal in a restaurant would be so nice. Is it so wrong to want to shop and eat???

I've only been out to trans friendly events, but I'm at the 1 year mark.

Good luck Diana.

[Lorileah]

Second, which I feel more comfortable with is...I want to try stand up comedy e- femme during open mike night at a local comedy club. The material I think is pretty damn funny since it deals with being transgender and sex. I know some of you have done stand up, any advice would be appreciated. Also, those of you who have dined out...your thoughts would be appreciated too.

Comedy isn't easy. When you die on stage, there is no feeling like that in the whole world. (opposite is true too...if you hit a home run). I perform in front of people all the time. It doesn't always work out and then time slows down and you see and hear everything around you. You also have to know your audience. TG jokes will fall in a room full of TGs or right wing people.

advice? I don't "see" the audience. I know they are there and there are times in the act where I have to break the fourth wall in interact but in my case I get in my groove an rhythm and I try not to be distracted. This would be a case where you think ahead of time about hecklers and possible "ad lib" come back.

Do your best, don't over think the show. Don't plan on hitting something in a certain manner. When you do that you miss the mark. Be who you are, don't try and be someone you saw on TV. Professionals work hard to make it look like they are just making it up as they go along. Then again, don't "read" your act to them. Make them think you are there at a cocktail party and you are just doing what you normally do.

Finally. Pee before you go onstage. Nothing worse than having that urge for 7 minutes and you can't walk off.

Neither scare me anymore but going to dinner doesn't have me worry about what the others around me would think. And you can have wine

[Di]

My evolution from the closet is almost three years old. Four years ago I never dreamed I'd be were I am today. I've been out many times.I want to try stand up comedy e- femme during open mike night Also, those of you who have dined out...your thoughts would be appreciated too.

Although we have not done standup Sherlyn and I did a drag show together. It was on her bucket list to get onstage and sing.....lol and I am an ole ham bone so we made it happen. Do you have anyone to go along and support you? I think that would be so fun.

Dining out.....Sherlyn was always worried about her voice.....but I just take over the talking ( I am that way anyways ) So if you have someone to go with you at first it is not so nerve wracking.

If you do not....go for it anyways. You have every right .

[Nikki A.]

I've been out to eat with other CDers and some GG friends. IHOP on a Saturday morning, chinese buffets, diners and regular restaurants. I've never had a problem in any of the venues.
Basically, if you act like you belong you will not have a problem.
As far as stand up goes, it would be fun to try but I don't think I've got the material. But if you want to try it go for it.
I only regret what I haven't tried.

[Janet Bern]

Ihave dined out many times. Usually a lunch at an Applebees or Fridays. No problem at all
I bought a Glamour mag so I had something to read. Waitress comes over
"Cheese sandwitch and a coke please.. no one notices me and I uses the ladies room
leave a nice tip and leave.. It is really nothing... I am always about 10 or 15 miles from my home.l
Janet

[suchacutie]

A couple of ideas about eating out:

Go to Starbucks, get a drink and stay until you finish it. No one will say a thing!.

Second. Go online and find a CD friendly restaurant and go with a gf if you can. Again, no one will notice.

Have fun!

[Glenda58]

I've been to a few some by my self other with friends from here. Even had a manage of the restaurant come sit at my table and talk to me it was Xmas and was carrying a lot of packages.

[heatherdress]

Diana - I think the first few times we fear the hostess, server, waiter or waitress might quickly determine we are a crossdresser (no matter how good we may look and feel) and we fear they may engage in conversation and ask questions which might make us feel conspicuous and uncomfortable. That's how I felt, even though I knew I shouldn't care and even though I believed they would not do that anyway. But I was afraid so my first time at restaurants was at CD events where I felt immediately comfortable.

If fear of conversation is a concern, maybe try to eat at a restaurant where you simply place and order and pick it up yourself when they call your number. Maybe a restaurant like Chipotle Mexican Grill would be easier. You just place your order and people behind the counter are too busy to ask any questions or notice anything about you.

I think you will discover how to dine out and enjoy the experience.

I have a friend who is a stand-up comic. If you feel OK, go for the open mike and have fun. But be prepared and test your material and rehearse.

Good for you.

[Sophie Yang]

Diana,

Restaurants, alone, don't phase me. Doing stand up comedy, no way. I love going to comedy shows though. I went Tuesday night. The waiter asked if I wanted my regular table or move up one. Moved up one. Some nights are a hit or a miss. This one was a little of both. But they are always a great way to escape for a while. On the way out, one of the EE's called over to me and gave me two tickets to any show. Very nice gesture.

I eat out, and most other things, alone most of the time. If I like the place and plan to go back, I make sure to note of the wait staff names. I actually put them in my phone so I can remember them the next time I am there. I let them know that I travel a lot and will be returning often.

While in San Francisco, when I went in, the wait staff always made me feel at home. It did not matter if it were a pricey or a small family owned restaurants. If you like to people watch, the pricey or tourist trap restaurants are a good place to eat.

On Super Bowl Sunday, I flew back on site and dropped my stuff off at my apartment. Went down to the local food coop, picked up a few things, and talked to my favorite cashier. Went down to the local sports bar just after kick off time. What a mistake. The place was jammed pack and noisy. What you would expect. Walked across the street to the bar and hamburger joint. Empty. They had the game on, but muted which was fine. Spent the whole game talking to the waitress. Pretty interesting gal. She is a rock climber. Next time I go in I will give her a link to an amazing climber if I can find it.

If it is nerves, go with someone and have them order. Expect that the wait staff will try and engage you in some small talk.

Bon Appetit!!