Strange not having a Cder in the family any more. The love of my life, the one I supported with everything he wanted to do has left me for another woman and thrown all his clothes and shoes away. He doesn't want her to know about his CDing and reckons he can give it up. I've kept some of the stuff because it has memories and I miss him terribly but wonder if one day the urge might return.
Hi Bev, sorry to hear your sad news. I think 99.9% of us will agree it is not something that can be given up that easily, neither is the love of an understanding lady, you are one in a million.
Carole
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That really, totally and genuinely sucks! I apologize on behalf of males everywhere. Really.
Will it return, very likely. And it may prove to be the undoing of his new romantic attachment. If so, he earned it by his dishonesty to her and to you.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Oh Bev, I am so sorry to hear of your news.I can't imagine what you are going through, but please know that I will keep you in my heart and will send lots of positive energy your way. Stay well, love, and good luck.
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.
Wow, that's terrible! I'm sure sorry to hear that. I've always understood
us to be a fair bit more loyal than usual...(of course there are all kinds)
As you likely well know...it's only a matter of time before he'll miss his stuff.
And she may not take to it so well.
I wish there were something remotely positive I could say....but if you'd like
to have another of us, there are Lots who'd dearly appreciate you, I do believe.
♥
Yeah look out for this chump, when he returns hat in hand wanting to regain your trust.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. Mark Twain
Giving people your word just doesn't have the same meaning today. Sorry to hear your bad news!
Genny B
Dani (Genny before Transition)
All Girl!
I think many men think crossdressing can be easily shed like an old dress. Maybe your friend will be able to abstain from buying clothing for awhile. I don't think he will be able to ignore the memories. The stimuli is all around us; pretty women, pretty women's clothing, everything feminine. The only way I knew how to cease cross dressing was to be placed in an environment without women, without feminine attire, with other critical things to survive..................the jungles of Vietnam. I wouldn't bet a shilling he'll give cross dressing up forever. I wonder how his life will be when, not if, his new women finds out about his cross dressing desires?
He's not having a good time of it folks he's totally guilt ridden. He left me just as I'd had a double mastectomy and just before I started my chemotherapy. It was pretty selfish of him really as he only left because I'd found out. He admitted he'd have carried on just seeing her on the side because it was just a fetish to be with a large lady. But hey I knew he had the potential - he's been fooling around on the internet with big ladies for years and said he could control it - I knew this would happen. I was devastated and he's taking some getting over but I guess for me realising how deceitful and selfish he's been has been a real eye opener. He wouldn't even stay with me whilst I went through my Chemotherapy because I was a bit frightened. And honestly no need for apologies I know not all men are the same. I just wonder what will happen if his new partner ever finds our he CDs - she doesn't appear to be the easy going type and likes masculinity, hairy chests etc.
Bev;
You can bet the farm that his CDing will return. Now with that said, will the new
friend be accepting or will she reject your CDer.
I give it some time, maybe less than a year, and he will find that his secret
will come out.
Now with you saving some of her clothes, she just might want to wear them again.
Hang in there, you are a very special person.
Rader
Bev, I'm very sorry to hear of your stresses, it's difficult to work thru either of your problem by themselves, let alone both at the same time. I hope that you are able to find the inner strenght to bear up under your burden.
I'll remember you in my prayers, Hugs Bria
What a fool, to give up on you.
He will return to dressing and then what will he have.
I am sorry
I read your other post.
I hope he get what coming to him, she leave him high and dry.
I know what I want to say, but I would get kick off of here.
Last edited by Annaliese; 02-18-2014 at 04:22 PM.
Thanks Ladies,
Bria I do have inner strength. I'm a practising Christian and I have lots of very good friends both at work and home. I also have a very supportive family. Just before Christmas I realised that whilst I was having my chemo he'd been transferring money from my bank account into his to pay his car loan. He hasn't got a job now because he's moved to Northampton. He thought he could get a job quickly and put it back but he didn't and before he knew it he owed me over £1000. By the time I found out I didn't have any money for Christmas. I panicked a bit because I have four kids and their dad died just after Andy left me so I wanted to make Christmas nice for them. Anyway my family and friends stepped in big time by giving me money for heating oil, food and Christmas presents. God love them I just don't know what I'd have done without their love and support.
just had the reveal with my mrs. and thought she was not going to stick around so the feeling is still kinda fresh and im sorry that has happened to you. sounds like something selfish happened, most here would give a kidney or something to have that relationship.
it must be like losing two friends, but in my short time here there is no shortage of support, hang in there i know this wont help right now but things happen for a reason, better plans must be coming your way...
....Mykell
i dressed like a girl and i liked it!crossdressing...theirs an app for that
Mikell I believe that with my whole heart. Things do happen for a reason and obviously even though I adored him he obviously didn't feel the same about me. He says he does and that he still loves me - but heck I wouldn't do what he's done to my worst enemy let alone someone I loved. We are still in touch and I'm still his friend now I've got over the shock of everything. Life is too short to be bitter. And believe it or not I hope he's happy but part of me thinks he's not going to be.
Press charges on him. For taking your money. not for revenge but because it the right thing to do.
So he is now with a fetish object (the large woman)? And he has been indulging in this throughout your relationship? Sounds like it may be a case of trading in one fetish for another. If this is the case maybe he'll be able to stave off the CDing for awhile. But just for awhile.
If he is with her for fetish reasons, it is decidedly not a basis for an emotionally lasting relationship. If I were heavy, I would hate for someone to be with me just because they have a sexual thing for large ladies.
I'm so sorry that you went through this ... at any time but especially when it happened. He most definitely placed a higher value on his pleasures than you. Good lord, where's the sense of sticking by someone that you love especially during the lowest point in her life.
Reine
And store his stuff between some protective layers of pink home fiberglass insulation.Originally Posted by Annaliese
Oh, dear Bev,
[VENT]
I've heard about scum-of-the-earth people who leave their partners at a time of the partner's greatest need. It's wrong ... wrong in so many ways. You must be a woman of incredible faith and strength of spirit. Your partner may have left for bigger ... er ... attributes, but he left the bigger woman behind. He will live to regret his decision.
[/VENT]
You poor dear, this is and will continue to be a very trying time of your life. Have you anyone that can hold your hand so to speak, while undergoing chemotherapy? You mention family. Hopefully they are near by.
I don't know if the words of of anonymous crossdressers mean much to you, but if they do, God bless you and heal you.
Best wishes
MsVal
Last edited by MsVal; 02-18-2014 at 04:44 PM. Reason: Format change
Hi Bev
I am sorry to hear that he left you. Its bad enough when people are fully fit but in such circumstances I was say its unforgivable but only you can decide that.
I am sure he may be able to control the CD'ing for a while but not forever ( I assume its possible but unlikely)
This is for you Bev for the strenght you have shown in sharing your story with us.
Of course the urge will return, and when it does and his current infatuation dumps him, he'll probably come crawling back, but after the way he treated you, please don't let him back in your life!
Oh no!
Bev, I hope the treatments have been successful and that your health recovers well!
Sometimes different kinds of bad things need to be cut out of our lives.
My partner is preparing to move out, and I'm sad that our relationship didn't work out, and I grieve what is now not going to happen between she and I, but at the same time it is probably a good thing for both of us.
Last edited by sandra-leigh; 02-18-2014 at 06:43 PM.
Bev, the world is full of men who only think of themselves and their own happiness. The world is also full of men who would have stood by your side during your surgery and healing. Please do not buy into old "sad eyes" routine of please take me back. You can remain friends from "afar." He cast his lot and now he has to live with it.
If it were me I'd mail his girl things to him and make sure it's delivered while she's there.
Either that or have a bunch of my cd friends pay them a visit. "You ready for the meeting dear?"
However, and this seems to be part of your charm, I detect not a bit of spite in you.
As has been stated, I would however pay a visit to the local police about your money. and cut off any ties with somebody that'd do that to you. If he'll do it once he'll do it again.
Take heart dear lady you are one in a million and any man worth his garter belt and stockings would be lucky to have you.
Hello Bev06,
I am sorry to hear all that you have been through and going though , I am lost for words on how you have been treated , well it is just best that I keep them to myself as love is a funny thing you never quite know where it is going to go , so I will stick to the "will the Cding return ", as I am sure you know that there are many different reasons for CDing so there might be a few that can give it up for good but I would think that in most case's it will return or the person can become very unhappy in suppressing it so I can think of two possibilities that you might hope for so you might get one of them .
I hope things go well with the Chemo and that you are not getting to many side affects .
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne
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