You brave and open girls that have totally come out about your cross-dressing and female sides to everyone (not just your SO's), what was the reaction of your best male buddies and friends? I think I would fear that part the most, since like many I still dress in secret, but someday . . .
and I must say I am in awe of y'all that have done so.
THX!
-Annie
Hi Annie,
I have come out to several female friends with no issues and to several male friends with mixed responses. For the males, I have only chosen very close friends whom I can trust to not spread rumours/garbage should they not agree. My male "buddies" for the most part while a bit "shocked . . . never saw that coming dude" never really batted an eye. We still get together and hang out "en boy". Will they ever go out with me when I am "en femme" not likely although they have all seen pictures of me dressed (they were curious as to what I look like as a girl . . . most said would not have recognized you if I walked by you.
The only experience that was shocking and saddening was my very best friend. We shared a lot together as we joined the military at the same time, gravitated to the same units and were together on several combat missions in Afghanistan. He saved my bacon on more than one occasion and I pulled him out of a firefight after he had been wounded, taking a through and through to my left side in the process. We recuperated in the same hospital, and I am/was the godfather of his daughter. When I told him, he freaked and cut off all contact with me and demanded that I never talk to his family. I was sad but it is what it is and I have to respect his feelings and hope someday he will come around.
Hugs
Isha
I wont let my male friends know....EVER...just my thing I guess no need to.......they probably already know though...cause most my female friends know already.
Something similar to isha...my very very bestie friend for 30 years cut me off! Broke my heart.........but I still love him....
Ms. G
Vegan runners are sexy!!!
I honestly don't ever plan on telling my male friends. at least not the ones that live
close to home. I do have friends that I met thru here that do know, but that is different.
the other male friends that I have don't need to know for any reason that I can think of.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
When i told my best friend, he and i were in the same unit in the army, he cut off all communication. After a year, we reconnected. He and his wife are coming to my wedding in June.
When I told my best friend he was totally cool with it. My wife and I told him and his wife at the same time. His wife thought I was joking at first. She just could not picture it she said. So I busted out a pic on my phone. I found that all the people that really matter to me are the ones that have been cool with it. The only people that have been put off by my dressing are ones that do not mean that much to me. So it has worked out well for me thank goodness.
One day your life is going to pass before your eye's, Make sure it is worth watching.
Eddie Izzard said it best "I am an action tranvestite".
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bethanyannstratford/
Thanks for sharing those stories! Some are quite touching and some sad. You are all so sweet to be so honest. My reaction thinking about all of your individual ways of coping with this, is, if I were ever able to "come-out" (although I hate that term), and dress openly frequently in public. I couldn't just come out to some and not others. I would have to throw myself completely out there and open up my feminine nature to everyone, SO, friends, family, co-workers alike. My gosh, that would be a big deal, and would probably hurt some people in the process. So for now I remain closeted (not another of my favorite words), since I don't have the courage to do that latter. I have only been on this forum a short time, but y'all have so helped me mentally and emotionally. So it least I can "come-out" virtually here. It is wonderfully to be able to discuss my feelings openly with other CD's, and GG's too. I couldn't imagine having these kinds of discussions about our deep feelings with men out there in the "real world". Men's conversation's and discussions are mostly terrible (myself included when I'm involved with one), that's why I much prefer talking with women where I usually reveal a lot more of myself. It is refreshing to do this with you guys(girls) here! Thank you so much!!
My very best friend of >50 years has embraced religion to light his path. We talk on the phone and solve the world's problems 4-5 times a week. It's just so amusing to hear the rants about 'those damn homosexuals' that are ruining mankind. I'm sure if I disclosed my CDing to him he'd be alright about still having me as a friend. (BTW, I'm just not gay, really!) But, I don't push it. He's one of those people that gets to stay home all day while the wife goes to work. I suggested once that he try on her clothes adding, "I know I would!" We both had a laugh. I might let him know about Carla someday but, not right yet. Damn! Home all day while wifey is at work. I would so be the live in maid!
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
When I was out I really was out and as long as I was not playing up to my male friends they thought it intriguing that I had such an entourage af girls tailing me, especially when dressed. My populatity lay in the fact I could find a girlfriend for them.
I was the mix and match expert.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
When I transitioned the one person I thought would deny my existence became my biggest defender. The one person whom I thought would have absolutely no problem (since his is gay) never spoke to me again...
go figure
When I told my best friend, he looked at me with this really weird-mad look on his face. He accused me of snooping through his stuff and making fun of him! Turned out.... He was also a CD!! We had a huge laugh and it made living together a lot more relaxing since we could both dress whenever!
Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earth-bound misfit, I.
That's a really cool story jaye_cd! So nice how it turned out. I am willing to bet that a whole lot more males have done some form of cross-dressing, trying on one piece of girly clothing, or it least wondering what is like to be female than they let on- I'm sure a lot more then the percentages the surveys indicate. Can you imagine having that conversation with a bunch of your guy friends during half-time of a football game discussing how natural it might be female or admit that is at least a slight part of you? - Funny!
Last edited by DAVIDA; 12-23-2013 at 06:18 AM. Reason: There is no need to quote the post right before your post.
I've told a few mates and they've been fine so far. I was talking to a couple of guys yesterday about buying a new dress for a wedding I've been invited to! They were okay with it.
"Slipping into stockings, stepping into shoes"
The shortness of life prevents us from entertaining far-off hopes. From Horace’s Odes, Book 1,4
All of my close friends (male and female) know and/or have seen me and hung out with me while I was Rebecca (my girl name). Basically, everyone in my study program knows. Even a few family members know. I've been to a few house parties dressed up and had a blast. The only thing I'm struggling with if whether or not to tell the very few guys who like me as a guy.
Somebody in my life who can't or won't accept me the way that I am....I wouldn't have it.
Last edited by FemmeElastique; 12-24-2013 at 12:52 PM.
A very select few of my male friends know about my predilection and they are all OK with it. In fact, one guy I've known for years has actually encouraged me through some pretty tough times lately. It has helped me discover who my true friends are. I did have a similar reaction from a very close friend to what Isha described--and it saddens me that someone you trusted with your life can't accept you the way you are. Lots of people we all know are never going to be able to understand us, much less accept us. In those cases we just have to shake off the dust and move on.
I told one good male friend when I was about 16 or 17. I don't know if he was my best friend. Back then, we were all pretty much best friends. There were about 5 of us. After high school, we pretty much all went our separate ways. I'm pretty sure the friend I confided in told everyone else. Funny thing is that I haven't had any contact with any of the friends I had in high school. They all still live in the area, too. The friend I told ended up getting married and having a couple kids. I haven't heard from him in nearly 30 years. I wonder if my telling him I was a CD had anything to do with it. You know how people think that we're all perverts, etc. I wonder if he just didn't want to take a chance and have me around his kids. He's the only one I ever told point blank, except for an ex-girlfriend, also back in high school, who broke up with me right away. So, no, I haven't had any good responses from telling anyone.
For me, I plan on transitioning here in the next month or so depending on how long it takes to get "approved" so to speak. Because of that, I am open to everyone and if they don't like it, they don't have to be friends with me.
The responses I've gotten from my male friends range from: Dude, I couldnt care less what you look like guy or girl. You'll always be my friend unless you like steal my gf or something like that...in which case, that's grounds for friendship termination. To: Hey that's awesome! My uncle is just finishing up the final stages of her transition. We now call her Auntuncle Jenny. It's totally awesome and I'm really happy for you...I really mean that dude.
So basically, all of my friends guy or girl have been 100% accepting and supportive. Now if only my ex and parents had the same acceptance level. My ex brother in law who is also amazingly accepting and supportive told me one time... "if we could choose our family, they would be called friends." Really thinking about that, it makes total sense. True friends will accept you no matter what and will always be there for you. Family are people who, whether accepting or not, are those you are stuck with and are not always considered friends. I have a great circle of supportive friends who I wouldn't trade for the world. I love them all to death and think they are all 100% amazing!
My male friends have to be figuring it out. They get a great laugh at my shoes and ny toenails. DUH!!! My wife says "When are you going to come downstrairs with your boobs on? " and she is right . just turned 56, want to be who I am. Soon!
regent,
no need to tell those guys. But I think some of them already know. I certainly dont mind if strangers see me dressed,
since I do go out every saturday night, but not any of my male buddies. That would probably be asking too much,
both of myself and of them..
ps: never wear red or pink color stay lipstick on saturday if you plan on watching the football game with the guys
on sunday, lol...dana
One of my old band mates knows because his wife told him.Lets say he is still a homophobe and not very close of a friend anymore.His wife is a friend on my female FB page and we chat a few days a month.She is very supportive and has no problems with thinking of me as a GF.
I see no sense in telling any guys I know at this time altho I think they know I'm a bit different.
You know how guys talk about boobs and asses all the time but around me they never bring up the usual male sex banter.
Do the band members I work for think I'm gay and just not talk sex stuff in front of me? Yeah maybe they do I don't know.
one of my friends said that it didnt surprise them. they accept me and even have bought me heels.
Let me check the rule book...oh there isn't one! Be yourself and have fun!
I came out as TG to one of my best friends who is gay (figured correctly that he would be accepting.), and he in turn "outed" me to my other best friend who is the typical "man's man"... I was absolutely terrified to say anything to him, since he was the one I did almost everything with since second grade or so, so obviously I went into full on "oh sh**, defcon 4 mode" when I found out he had been told. ...seeing him that first time after knowing that he knew was awkward at first... then he said he didn't care a bit, but it would be weird if I ever "grew tits, because he couldn't not look at boobs." ...we shared a laugh, a couple of drinks, and a totally candid conversation about everything. He is so awesome.
Very mixed, I have very little contact with guys I used to know, save for one or two.
The reception from my female friends has been amazing though, we're closer than ever and share so much more not.
A x
very mixed feelings... from getting beat, to wanting to double. it's a relief now that they know.
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