Inquiring Minds want to know

[Teddie]

1) It's just me. The clothes feel good. Makeup is wonderful.
2) Yes. She'[s very accepting of it.
3) Yes
4) At times she does.
5) Flowers, candy, presents.
6) She's not the ultra-sexy type, but is very feminine and continues to be, and I love it.
7) Just being me. Loving her, and letting her be herself. We share and share alike.
8) Yep. My ears are pierced and keep the body hairless. And, it makes me feel good knowing I'm closer to my fem side.
9) Not me.
10) No. It takes more than that to make a lasting and loving relationship.

[Laura912]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
Because this started before age 6 or 7 when I had no knowledge of why it was happening, I can only say now that dressing takes me to a very peaceful place and feels natural.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship? Knows, teases me, helps me and makes it more comfortable.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side? Been married 48 years so absolutely. She did not know for the first 15 to 20 years.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
Refer to me according to the dress.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance? Thank her and do all the other things that one does for a wife of 48 years.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
Still like the sexy look on her even at age 71.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
She has a health issue that I help her deal with.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
Yes.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ???? Something all the sexy women wore eons ago but looks trashy on me!

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
Absolutely not.

[mykell]

OK Fab 4 here goes, from a fifty year perspective...

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

its evolved, but its more fun than my clothes.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

just recently 5 weeks,

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

just having more time for my girl side and being the most accepting ever since joining the group im attracted to this visual side of me, but my partner is so much more.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

not at that point, but i believe we would just talk to each other the same.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

still new so i just try to be more myself. hope that makes sense.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

i am more girly when dressed, she was never that stereotypically feminine, she just wears what she wants.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

since joining the forum i have gone back to basics so to say. i would cuddle more and not expect a prize, talk more, ask how she feels, more hugging, kissing, but i feel in general that as time goes by many get complacent and take the relationship for granted. an example would be im ten minutes from the beach, when i go in the morning to sit and have coffee i see all the people who have come from other countries and states taking photos as its foreign to them, me its just another day.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

for me i would like to shave my body hair and do a nice transformation photo shoot before i get any older, nothing permanent, not having to shave my face would be sweet though, just a general PIA.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????

in one of my photos it looks blue, it was actually green, bought it to match my hazel eyes.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

not really a concern for me, but i am jealous of those here who start off on the right foot, but to choose a partner based on that alone would be foolish....

did i win the consultation prize for my answers ??

[Jaylyn]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing? I love the feel of the undergarments and love to dress sexy. The hose heels and for some reason I feel refreshed by them.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
Yes she has known since we were married

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
More to her than ever she's my Soul Mate.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
Only hen we are both dressed does she sometimes tease me with calling me come on gal. Or fix your lipstick sweetie.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
She has known I love it for so long it's just accepted and kind of like our love we know each other has for the other we accept each other totally. I still buy her surprise gifts and always have.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
A little of both I understand now why she doesn't want to wear tall heels everyday all day... Lol yes I like her her to be sexy. And have her nails done.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
Probably not as much as I should except sometimes we find matching lipsticks or a top in both our sizes and buy lots of panties and when I underdress we sometimes say we have on our special undies. I tell you she is my other half she completes me and she says I do the same for her.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male? N/A

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
Well I used to use dark blue eye shadow as I was dressing sexy and truly for a sexual fantasy with a sexual release maybe in mind. My wife has dressed like a hooker for me in our playtime and I have dressed as one when she is not around for reasons already stated..... A light blue is really not all that bad if you can blend it with white and brown.
10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
No because I'm in one with her 100% accepting. Love must be involved for me and I have that one trait already.

[LadyInRed]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
because I like being pretty and sexy

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
yes, not worth the problems that lies cause

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
yes

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
the clothes make the woman

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
bought her some gift certificates, outfits and items so she can feel pretty too

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
honestly I like it when my wife looks pretty

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
bought her some gift certificates, outfits and items so she can feel pretty too


8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
I've had my ears pierced since I was 16 & yes

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
I prefer gold, however I think if you watch My Girl they have a good answer to that, "you can never wear enough blue eyeshadow"


10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
no, life is too short to not be happy, that being the only reason isn't enough, and her being not accepting is a deal breaker

[Karen kc]

1> I like the softness of the clothes and looking as pretty as I can
2> yes and glad I did
3> yes much more
4> It doesnt matter to me
5> I tell her how much I love her and thanks for understanding and loving the way I am
6> yes
7> proven to her what I told her
8> n a
9> have nary an idea
10> no

[PretzelGirl]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

1) For me, it is the innate female feelings I have. I am on a discovery path of who I am and am relatively fulltime outside of work.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

2) I pretty much have been open with her from the start. There was a little trying on some clothes and when it became more than that, I talked with her and we worked boundaries. The boundaries were open for discussion every now and then and as she had time to take things in, the boundaries lessened. Because of this way of working through it, we never had a relationship issue.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

3) Lol. I am pretty ugly. No, I married her. Attraction is a lot of things and all I have to do is stare in her eyes and I feel all the reasons I am attracted to her.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

4) She can call me whatever she wants. Well, nothing hateful I guess. When we are alone, what does it matter? We are communicating. Now when we are out, I prefer the femme references. Even then she will slip with the "my husband" references. I just laugh. It isn't deliberate and you should never get mad at someone who is loving and trying.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

5) I don't necessarily think that there should be anything special. What I should be doing is making sure she gets her share of the marital attention. That our relationship grows and we both get our share of the good times. This has nothing to do with what I wear and everything to do with us sharing a life together.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

6) I don't want my wife to be anything she doesn't want to be. I love her as she is and love her enough to let her grow as she wishes. If she wants to do that, it is her choice. If she doesn't, then all is still right.

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

7) Again, a relationship should be mutually supporting. So this can be shown in a variety of ways in life. If you don't grow as a couple, it can be just as dangerous as having negative things inserted into the relationship.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

8) It is a mix for me. I grew my hair long and I enjoy that in both modes. I had my ears pierced, but even though I wear earrings in guy mode, I don't have any sensation from them, so they get forgotten. But they are part of my "hippie" personality. I have also done laser/electrolysis and in guy mode is just means that my wife doesn't get red around the lips from stubble when kissing. That is a little bit of a joke with us as she was okay with me shaving my long running mustache off as long as I didn't have stubble.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????

9) I take the blue eye shadow as a big joke.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

10) Not on your life. What a great way to have a bad relationship.

[reb.femme]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
It was always a tactile thing - I still love the softer / lighter feel of my girl clothes.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
Yes. She has known for almost 2 years. I tell her if I'm buying anything new.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
I'm only attracted to my wife, not me. She still rocks my boat, regardless of my presentation.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
She would find it very difficult to use feminine pronouns for me. I’m OK with that.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
I tell her I love her, several times, every day, but I always have done.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
Not my wife at all. She doesn't wear makeup, except on very rare occasions, is not into sexy slinky clothes or heels. However, she has always been good looking without this.

Once you came out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
n/a

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
We talk, been together 40 years so I can’t be doing too much wrong…..can I? I know that she does not need to feel the benefit of supporting me. I did buy her a matching coat just last year when she was acting as my personal shopper.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
n/a

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
Strangely, I haven’t got blue eye-shadow but the flash in pictures makes my purples look blue. I like purples and plum with my green eyes, just for info.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
n/a

[Ina Girdle]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I started my fascination / interest at 5 or 6 years old. I don’t know why. I am an underdresser, I have no interest in presenting fully, or ever going out in public. I am a barrel chested, burley man and I could not pass (en-femme) even if I wanted to, thus looking in the mirror & taking photos of myself has NO interest to me. I am fascinated with lingerie and being a child of the sixties, in particular what my wife terms “industrial strength”, foundation garments. Once puberty hit, it became entangled with sex and allot of extra baggage. Now it is about more than sex. When I am wearing my lingerie, it fills me with a sense of well-being. The joy of being in your fifties, I find you can cut through allot of what you think other want and just enjoy life. I guess we all fear looking back and saying “If only I had done what I really wanted to do”.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

I wasn't for the first 10 years of our marriage, but then I had repressed and denied being a CD'er for most of that time. Once I discovered this forum almost a year ago and saw that there were so many others with very similar life experiences as me, I was able to admit what I was to myself and shortly after that felt compelled to explain to my wife. Firstly I apologized and asked for her acceptance. It was a pretty safe bet for me, as I know her so well and am so lucky she is a very caring and understanding person.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I am not attracted to my girl side, for me I don’t have a girl side, I am just me, a guy who really enjoys lingerie, both on my wife and myself. I am very much attracted to my wife!!

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

Again, in my case, I do not try to present in public or private. I am the same person she fell in love with (and I her),15 years ago….I have been that person all along. Just did not practice or talk about Cross Dressing, but it was always there behind the scenes. I want her to talk to ME, not some alter ego that enters the room when I do wear certain articles of clothing.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

I thank her often. I respect her viewpoints. Stay within our mutually agreed to boundries. I try to joke about our situation and let her know that she needs to let me know if she is or gets uncomfortable with it.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

No changes there, my wife is a very beautiful woman and I have always enjoyed and been intrigued by her. My wife is also a very intelligent woman and that is another aspect that I have always cherished and admired about her.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

Keep doing what I have always done, be a considerate and kind partner. We make a great team and we support each other.

8) Not Applicable

9) Not Applicable

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

Never. My wife is my love and my best friend and we are equal partners. Sex is only one part of the equation.

[Lorileah]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

because I can't be naked, I like the clothes and I look good in them

2)

now n/a when I had a S/O they both knew

3) Are you attracted to your partner...

That should not even be a question. Anyone who isn't attracted to their S/O than themselves just proves how selfish some here can be

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), .

yes

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

n/a

6)
Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

my wife never was an ultra feminine woman even though she looked marvelous when she would dress up. My GF never dressed down. I never saw her in anything baggy or sloppy. About if I cared what they wore...nope

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

n/a

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

It just is (was)....

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????

it is mod, and totally groovy

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

nope. but I would not go into a relationship where the GG doesn't accept everything about me

[DorothyElizabeth]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing? Ilike the way softer fabrics feel both on my skin and as they drape.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship? n/a, however, when dating, I always tell them no later than the second date.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side? I am not attracted to myself.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course. I explain to my dates that when I am with them, they may refer to me by either name, as they feel comfortable

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance? I do not have an "s/o" bu I often thank my friends for accepting me as I am - the whole enchilada.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels). I have always liked my wives to be comfortable in how they were dressed. So sometimes that meant "girly" and sometimes that meant wearing flannel shirts, baseball caps and jeans.

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears? As I say, I want my partner to wear what she finds comfortable. ife is too short to dress only to please others.

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you? n/a

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male? n/a

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ???? I don't wear it. When I wear eye makeup, which isn't often, I stick to colors and shades within my skin tone palette.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting? No; that is not sufficient reason for a long term committed relationship, but I would not enter into one wherein she was not accepting.

[Princess Grandpa]

1) I'm sorry I have no freaking idea why I need to do this. When I have the opportunity to dress it brings on a sense of.... I don't know it makes me happy!

2) my wife was with me when the blinder of denial came off of my eyes. The only secrets I kept from my wife was what I'm getting for birthday.

3). I am far more attracted to my wife. *giggle* Rita is homely at best.

4). I am not overly concerned with pronouns. When she refers to me as she it makes me smile but I'm still just a little uncomfortable with she/her. I don't truly identify as female. Sometimes I fear it comes off as if I'm mocking the TS girls who are just trying to survive while I'm playing.

5) my wife's acceptance and support of Rita, while monumental, is fairly low on the list of things I have to be grateful to her for. I have tried to devote my life to making hers better and she has done the same for me. (When we weren't wanting to kill each other)

6) I have always encouraged her to do as she felt she wanted with her looks. I'm a big fan of long hair. Of late she chose to go short. /shrug it's her hair.

7) OMG does she like having Rita around. We shop together, we get mani/pedis when we can afford it. When we can't we do each other. *giggle* NAILS we do each other's nails. And the list goes on and on.

8) a resounding yes

9) it matches my blue dress. *giggle* Julie and I have discussed this very topic. No clue. I'm really fortunate to have her help with make up. Probably i wouldn't have messed with it were it not for her

10). Should something happen between Julie and I, I doubt seriously I would be interested in another relationship. Should I feel differently after time, acceptance of Rita would be mandatory, but not enough on its own. There would need to be more to love than doing my eye liner.

Hug
Rita

[Jennifer Kelly]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I am fascinated by women and want to explore their world.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

Yes. I came out to her a couple of months ago.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I'm not sure I understand the question. Sometimes I think I look cute as Jennifer, but I'm not attracted to her.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

Our relationship is DADT (don't ask, don't tell). So she doesn't ever want to see me dressed or even talk about it that much. She wants me to be all man when we are together.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

Whenever we do discuss Jennifer, I make it a point to tell her how much I love her (my SO that is) and how grateful I am that she didn't run for the hills when I came out to her.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

She doesn't really dress this way most of the time so it's non-issue. Jennifer is way more girly in that respect than she is.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

Our arrangement is DADT, so this doesn't really apply.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

All I've really done in this regard is shaving my legs, pits, and chest. And I only generally shave my chest when I'm going out or when I'm taking pics in outfits that make it necessary because she likes what little chest hair I do have. I also will trim my arm hair when going out. I would like to get my ears pierced some day but haven't brought that up to her yet.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????

I don't know. My SO asks me this too but I don't own any. Apparently that's a thing with most CD's, but I never heard that until recently. I grew up in the 80's so it would seem a normal thing to wear, but apparently it's like hanging a sign around your neck that says "crossdresser", especially during the day. I have some purple eye shadow, but no blue. I was looking to get some, but after hearing so much about only crossdressers wearing it anymore, I'm staying away.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

No, that's a huge bonus but there needs to be more than that.

[luca]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I honestly feel happy inside when I do. I'm not sure how to describe it but when I do I just feel like it's okay to like feeling pretty, even if I am not so particularly good looking in these clothes(specifically I feel good being able to express the part of me that thinks it should be okay for someone of any gender to wear pretty things and colors).

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

Yes, and if I weren't then I have an SO who will get it out of me anyways. For a while at the start I was, but I also just didn't know how to share yet. And it's something I am always trying to work on (not that I am excused for having deceptive behaviors).

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I am always most attracted to GREENIE. I mean c'mon, she's so hot!

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

No feminine pronouns at all. I am a man in a dress, and even while dressed I have the same name as I do in masculine clothing.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

I try to be accepting of her limits and the ever swinging pendulum first and foremost. I'd like to think that I am a more helpful person around the house, but I still have a ways to go there (and a partner should be helpful around the house without some incentive like dressing anyways).

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

I love it when she puts effort into looking nice, she actually does that more now because she has a proper office job where she can dress up more instead of working for Starbucks like she used to. That and I still like dressing up as her handsome dapper man too.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

I've been slowly becoming the happier more confident person that she knew was there, getting better at communicating, becoming more understanding and patient towards her needs. Basically I am slowly (slowly but surely) just becoming a better person and partner.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

N/A

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????

It's a pretty color that is noticeable without making you feel like you stand out as a gaudy CDer (basically convincing ourselves that we are more feminine without having to look like we are trying too hard). My theory anyways.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

N/A

[Christen]

1)
It gives me pleasure, always has, always will.
2)
Not as open and honest as I want to be. The deception places stress on me, but that's it.
3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
I love my wife, she is my rock. Do I love my girl-side, course I do, I'm vain as hell, but I love my wife more.
4) Never been in this situation.
5)Treasure her!
6)I love my wife to look wonderful, which she does. She's got fantastic taste.
7)Spend more time together, we have a weekly date day (I work weekends). Spoil her when I can.
8)Hasn't happened.
9) Very few girls in the world can get away with blue eyeshadow. Mauve I can do, natural shades are better for me, I think.
10) No.

[Donnagirl]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
I find it relaxing, mildly erotic, a little thrilling but generally because it feels right.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
Totally honest... There are ups and downs, acceptance and argument, highs and lows.... I don't think the relationship would survive deception.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
I don't think my 'girl side' would come between us... I am, and have been for over 20 years attracted to my wife.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.)
Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
She uses the feminine pronouns only in argument, when she has reason to be angry with me for any number of reasons...

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
I'm trying to think of anything specific to 'acceptance'... I just try hard to make the relationship work regardless of rhyme or reason.


6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
She has stopped wearing anything ' ultra sexy', or even sexy.. I own the skirts and dresses, high heels and lingerie...


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
I have worked hard to earn a good wage and provide for the family... Don't think my dressing has an input. That is just me!!

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
NA for me... I'm lucky to have no body hair (sadly not much on my head either)... I would like to pierce ears but don't want to risk works reaction... Maybe one day....

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
Don't know... Not my shade....

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
Maybe I lucky but my relationship is built on more than that... Acceptance, variable as it is is nice but not the deciding factor...

[Roberta Lynn]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
It just feels right

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
My wife of 47 years has known about my CDing since before we were married

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
I like how I look, how I feel when I’m dressed, but I’ve never been attracted to myself. My wife has always been, and still is the light of my life.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
My wife always calls me by my given name no matter how I’m dressed. She sill sees ‘me’ no matter what I’m wearing. I’m fine with that.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
I make sure she knows her ‘guy’ will always be there when she needs him. I can dress just about as much as I want. I try to keep it in perspective with what is important to me. There are times when I need to be husband, father, grandfather that just doesn’t need to include a dress and a pair of heels.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
NA

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
My wife says that when I’m dressed my personality ‘softens’ a little. I’m calmer, less quick to anger, even listen better. I try to keep these traits no matter how I’m dressed.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
NA
9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
It helps offset the big purple bags under my eyes

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
Having your loved ones accept you is perhaps the Holy Grail for many of us CDers. Relationships are built on many levels, Having a GG that is accepting is good start but if that is all there is, if the GG is getting nothing out of the relationship, it will fail.

[Helen Grandeis]

1. It is a thrill that totally energizes me and makes me feel alive. Recently, I drove to Chattanooga, TN from Michigan in one day. It was surreal how alert I w as throughout the many hours of driving. There is definitely a sexual component to it. This sexual side is more potent than Viagra. It may in fact be the whole picture.

2. Before the first reveal, I embarked on my "value added husband campaign". Reveal 1 was totally premature but in retrospect it wouldn't have made a difference.
During reveal #1, I disposed of an impressive collection of clothing that filled the back of our minivan. I characterized it as destroying my ability to cross dress not as a total purge. She saw it as a total purge. Reveal #2 stated that I had a big hole in my heart over not cross dressing. Her reply was that my saying that made a hole in her heart. Her premise is that am evading my responsibility as a man by dressing and denying my devine nature as a male. She struggled for days. We talked gently in little bits. I thought that her love and concern for me would override her strong revulsion and Mormon doctrine. She actually checkout out this forum and several other good sites. Then she found a church talk from twenty years ago and the Code of Behavior for Brigham Young University. This galvanized her with Devine purpose to save my eternal soul. The understanding was clear. She feels it is wrong and I feel there is nothing wrong with it. In reveal 3, I threw out attendance at monthly CD events. She said that her views have never changed. she will never endorse my CD in any degree. She refuses to go to counseling because all the counselors would not endorse her view that CD is evil.

3. N/A. I only relate to my wife in male mode. She would be totally repulsed seeing Helen.

4. N/A.

5. I have my ongoing "value added husband" campaign where I tried to take all of my wife's various issues and thoughtfully resolve them. Other than renouncing CD, I am a consciously better husband. This has included taking great care of her during the recovery from a total rebuild of her foot. This is why we survived the violation of her trust inherent in Reveals 2 and 3. I have made her feel loved and that she couldn't live without me in spite of the nagging issue that I will never bring up directly again.

6. I liked my wife dressed. Now she has avoided sexy nightwear for fear that it will tempt me. This is starting to change for the better. My wife is a sharp dresser. I emulate her and my mother.

7. There is zero support and zero tolerance. My "value added husband" efforts are unwavering and unconditional. We pray together twice a day. I read the Book of Mormon to her every night. I am very conscious of my tone of voice and volume. I do numerous thoughtful and kind things.

8. My legs are totally hair free due to Tria laser. I really like it. I am working on being beard free. This is to make the switch back and forth quicker and more effortless. I would love to have pierced ears but will wait to the very end before I do that .

9. N/A.

10. In the unlikely event, I become a widower my first choices for female companionship would be people I have known for many years. I would tell them almost on the first date. A high degree of acceptance and even participation. Hopefully I will never know the answer to this.

[samantha rogers]

1/ Hard to say. There was a time I thought is was sexual. Now, as that part of me has been fairly well...reduced...hmmm. Because it feels right. I feel more myself dressed. I feel whole.

2/ I wasn't, not at all. Not for many years. Now I am. That also helps with the "wholeness" thing.

3/ yes. More so but in a different way. Our sex life has diminished but she is my closest friend on Earth. I would happily take a bullet for her. Spending time with her is more important to me than anything. Not sure if that answers your question. Sorry, best I can do.

4/ She knows, and is doing well so far, but this is new and still difficult for her. She has never seen me dressed and is not yet ready to, though she has seen the slow changes to my body. For me, well, I don't care how she refers to me as long as it is with love.

5/ I love her (love here used as a verb not a noun). I listen to her, I support her emotionally as best I can. I try to help around the house. Back rubs when she hurts. A friend to vent to when she needs it. And I try not to burden her any more than I need to with my problems, unless she asks, which she does anyway...which is part of why I love her.

6/ Yes, I always liked it when she dressed up, but, no BS, it makes no difference to me. You could cover her in, well, mud? I would still see her the same way. I loved her the first time I saw her (well over twenty years ago) and that has not changed one bit. If anything, more so now. I would wish for her sake that she could see herself as I do.

7/ IDK what to add to what I said before. Love is a verb. An action. I love her.

8/ By your criteria, this one is off limits to me now.

9/ LOL

10/ IDK. I hope I never need to find out.

Does that help?

[S. Lisa Smith]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?It makes me feel complete,

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?Yes!

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?More.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course. No.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance? I tell her that I appreciate her support.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears? N/A


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you? Love her and support her.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male? It's not like that. I'm fine with being a man at times...

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ???? IDK either.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?NO!!!!

[Danielle71]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
It just feels so nice to be feminine

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
I have no SO so I guess this one is a N/A

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
N/A

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
If I had a SO I would love her to refer to me as a female. P.S. If there are any GG's here in the bay area that are looking for a CD, let me know

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
N/A

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
N/A


Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
N/A


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
N/A

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
So far I have had no issues with presenting myself as a male. Although the only thing I do right now is waxing.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
N/A yet

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
Yes

[AmandaM]

See below in bold.

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing? I feel compelled to express myself as a woman at times.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship? Yes.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side? I don't consider myself attracted to my girl side. Though it can be a turn on to think of myself as a sexy woman. There is no comparison to my attraction to my wife or other women.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course. Refer to me depending on the clothes.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance? Nothing. Didn't think I had to do anything except say I appreciate it.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels). The sexier/more feminine a woman, the better.

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears? I always want her to dress well.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you? No different than my previous relationships where the girl didn't know. I don't think I should have to do anything special because I CD.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male? Let's include tattoo removal here. I ignore it when dressed as a guy.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ???? For me, it's part of my generation.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?No, we have to have the regular attraction, etc.

[Katie Russell]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

It’s the way that dressing makes me feel. Clothes can have a huge impact on your own self-esteem whether you are a male or female. I always feel better when I wear ‘black tie’ as opposed to my DIY gear in male mode. I believe that clothes can alter you mood, you can dress ‘sexy’, for comfort, ‘power dressing’ etc. all of which can have a positive or negative effect on how you feel. When I dress I want to feel attractive which is the way I’m sure any GG would do when she’s in the mood.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

My SO knows about my CDing but she not interested in sharing at present. I, therefore, dress when she is not around. As we don’t talk about it I’m not sure how she feels but it in my opinion it hasn’t changed our relationship. She gets the same person she knew before the cat was out the bag.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I’m not really attracted to my girl side whereas I am to my SO.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

Doesn’t really talk about it but I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable being referred to using female terms.

5) What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

I’ve really carried on as before. If I changed too much it may alter the dynamics of our relationship and ‘freak’ her out.

6) Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high-heels). Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

My SO always takes care of her appearance


7) What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

See answer 5)

8) For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

N/A

9) What’s the blue eye shadow all about????

I was a big Abba fan as a kid and I can vividly remember Agnetha’s blue eye shadow. I guess every fashion has its time so never say never as quite often they go full circle.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

No

[Nadine Spirit]

1 - I feel as though I am a mix of genders and wearing female clothes helps me to feel more balanced.

2 - I am and always have been totally honest about my dressing.

3 - Huh? I am attracted to my wife, not myself.

4 - I prefer to be addressed as I am dressed, though I am quite flexible about it.

5 - My entire relationship I have attempted to show my SO how much I appreciate her. I don't think of her accepting my CDing as all that different from me accepting her various likes and dislikes.

6 - My SO can dress however she likes, but I prefer for her to dress in a manner that makes her feel good.

7 - Honestly, I work my little butt off in this relationship, not because my SO supports me, but because that is what is right. If there is any lopsided support in this relationship it is me supporting her with her difficulties within life. Cross dressing is not what our world revolves around. It is a part of our life, but not our entire life.

8 - I don't ever feel as though I am forced to present as male, I choose to present as male or female as the occasion presents. But the various things I do that are a mix of genders, painting my nails, pierced ears, waxing, etc, they do help me to feel more of a sense of balance. It has been years, like 5-10 years since I have felt anything like a pink fog and I see that as a direct result of me attempting to find a balance with my gender.

9 - Uggh, blue shadow! I have greenish/blueish eyes and thus avoid the vast majority of colors and go for contrasting earth tones personally. I think many guys have an idea of what it means to be feminine but not much reality with it, and not much accurate self reflection or accurate external feedback. They don't want to dress like a real girl, they want to dress as their image of a girl.

10 - I appreciate that my SO accepts me, but it is only one small aspect of our relationship. There is much more in life and in relations than cross dressing.

[kimdl93]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing? I feel genuinely like myself.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? Yes

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side? I am not attracted to myself!

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course. I prefer female references at all times. But it's easy, my real name is Kim.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance? I tell her, first of all, and I hope I'm as supportive of her in her interests, preferences and needs.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears? I like women who dress smartly, even when they are going casual...that was true before I came out and remains so now.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you? Gosh, I think we have a pretty strong, mutually supportive relationship...but then I first came out before we were engaged.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male? Yes, although my changes have been subtle and I never feel complete till I'm fully en femme.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ???? I can't make it work for me.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting? No. I don't think that would be fair to her or me.