My CD partner left me for another woman.

[PaulaQ]

Bev, it's awful to discover that the person you loved, and who you've supported emotionally for years, only ever cared about themselves, and left as soon as you needed their support in return. I can relate - it's just awful.

He'll probably stew in a hell of his own making, caught betwixt and between his impulses.

You'll find someone better.

[Jennifer S]

I'm so very sorry to hear that. I find it hard to believe he will simply be able to give up dressing... Anyway, be strong. We're here for you.

[Bev06 GG]

Thank you ladies, and yes I do take heart in the support from people on here. My chemo and radiotherapy is finished. I feel like I've been on a proper journey since last March but to be honest with you dealing with the cancer was much easier than dealing with the loss of the two most influential men in my life. The father of my kids, my ex turned out to be a much better friend than husband and I miss him too. I thank God that I had the opportunity to look after him during the last six weeks of his life. I've learnt a lot about myself this past year and I've realised I'm much stronger than I thought I was and I can and will get over what has happened. One door closes another one opens and all that. I'm still young enough to enjoy the rest of my life with or without a man at my side.
Re the police, I went to the bank and they told me that the police most probably wouldn't do anything because it was domestic. I did go to the police though and they said they'd press charges but in the end I decided to leave it because nothing will bring my money back and I can't put myself through any more heart ache. He's cost me dearly financially as I've paid his debts to keep the bailiffs away but I'm free of him now and he can't hurt me any more. So I'm looking forward to my future and whatever that might bring. The good side is I got the boob job I've always wanted - not as large as I'd like but very nice shape so there you go - every cloud and all that.

[Jennifer S]

Your strength is inspirational. I'm quite sure I would crumble... You're an amazing woman, Bev and I hope your return to the forum is a lengthy one.

[Lorileah]

He's not having a good time of it folks he's totally guilt ridden. He left me just as I'd had a double mastectomy and just before I started my chemotherapy. It was pretty selfish of him

You can say that again...and again and again. Unfortunately some men have no sense of honor or loyalty. You had nothing to do with that, he is what he is. As we like to point out here, it is almost impossible to change a person. His CDing will never go away and his low morals and lack of loyalty won't either. I would like to believe I am a better person, but it took a major hit for me to see the light. When something happens to "miss Right now", he will bale like a sinking dingy

I guess for me realising how deceitful and selfish he's been has been a real eye opener.

Wish we could have warned you (take that from a jerk who knows what she is talking about) My wife had breast cancer and I stayed with her through the initial treatment and surgery and even more so through the second recurrence and outcome. It wasn't easy for me but I know it was harder for her. I can't even imagine. And MY guilt didn't make me feel any better.

He wouldn't even stay with me whilst I went through my Chemotherapy because I was a bit frightened.

You have my total sympathy and empathy, it is all I can offer and it is very small but you know as you said, not all men are like that. Maybe listen to Tony Bennett's "I wanna be around" over and over and over

[RADER]

Bev:
I wish you lived near me, I would make a special effort to find you just to give you a big hug.
Rader

[devida]

I'm so sorry to hear about this Bev. Having just had the support of my SO as I went through a potentially fatal disease I do understand how awful it must have been for you not to have had that. There is a reason that many marriage vows talk about in sickness and in health. That is what a commitment really means. I suppose it's good that you found out what a worthless and self centered person your spouse was. You have the rest of your life as the kind and compassionate person you are, while he has the rest of his life as whatever lower life form he chooses to be. But it's a bad way to find out that you are living with someone incapable of essential human kindness. But do consider, you get to live with yourself, a strong, courageous, spiritual woman, and he gets to live with himself, which is what?

[Sharon B.]

Bev; he was a D*mm fool to leave you and he will regret it, the urge will come back to him then he will have to face the consequences with her.
You are one in a million, I would give anything to find a woman like yourself.

[Kate Simmons]

Sorry to hear about all of this Bev. Glad you are back though. We love you for who you are and are here for you. You are among friends again Hon.

[Katey888]

I'm so sorry to hear that Bev - I know there are no words that will make it any easier for you, but at least you know that you can come here to vent a little, for a friendly ear and a shoulder to cry on.

Some people... just defy description!

Chin up - keep smiling as much as you can - and you have a lovely smile in your avatar pic, btw... The world deserves to see more of that from you!

Katey x

[Tracii G]

Thats just awful Bev.
Sorry you are having to go thru all of that stuff.
Keep in mind you can't make someone stay if they don't want to.Probably better to be without him if he treated you that way.
He sounds a bit messed up in the head to me.

[Laura Collette]

Bev, please look after yourself now and get well! I'm so sorry Mr Wrong picked this time to make his exit, but there are many Mr Rights in the world and I know you will find one. God bless you.

[Princess Grandpa]

Hug. I'm so sorry. It's a sad tale indeed. I know so many who would kill or die to have a chance with a woman like you. In my humble opinion, it's not likely he will be able to just quit. The need will return. I also believe it not likely new girl will be accepting and supportive. In the end he walked away from a remarkable woman to end up alone and sad.

Should you need an outlet to vent please feel free to contact me

Hug
Rita

[natcrys]

Wow.. just wow.. Very sorry to hear all these bad things happening to you. Your partner cheated on you.. and to me.. that's in my list of PFUTTD (would love to write this in full.. but this is a family friendly site).

I hope that you will get through all these things. It's irrelevant whether your partner can keep the CD feelings away (have not yet heard a successful case)..

All the best!

[kiwidownunder]

Unbelievable how someone can just up and leave like that!
I would never dream of hurting my wife like that EVER
You are an amazing person

Kiwi

[Taylor Ray]

I'm looking forward to my future and whatever that might bring. The good side is I got the boob job I've always wanted - not as large as I'd like but very nice shape so there you go - every cloud and all that.

You go, girl! I admire your courage to be able to look forward. You are an inspiration to others! I will always remember your positive attitude and strength. Thank you for sharing your journey.

[Beverley Sims]

Once the novelty of the new woman wears off he will be at it again.

I know it is hard not to follow your heart but he has "dropped" you and cast you aside.

I would sever the strings now and get on with a new life.

I wish you the best for the future.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Bev, First welcome back That is such a sad thing to have happen to you He will probably try to come
back after the new woman finds out about his little hobby, It's like the Mafia you just can't quit.
We just had our 50th and I don't see either of us going anywhere

[Tina B.]

Bev, sorry you have had to go through so much. My wife is a two time survivor of Breast cancer, I can't understand what kind of selfish cretin would walk out on some one he was suppose to care about at a time like that. And then the thing with the money, what a creep he must be.
No one deserves a guy like that, and especially a women that can deal with and love a Trans person unconditionally, that is special. What he has done, and the dream he is chasing is one of the most selfish things I've ever heard of.
I hope with the help of family, you and your kids will get through this time with out to much pain and strive, but know in the long run you are better off without a person like that in your life, he will always put is own wants in front of his family's needs, and you and your kids don't need that.
You can also take pleasure in the fact, at some point he will need to dress again, we all seem too. When he does, he will have to hide, sneak, and lie to hide it, and as you have already said, the quilt gets to him, and that is big time guilt. From the description of her, and what she wants, a man in a dress may not work for her. He could be the unhappiest one of all, before it's over.
And a great loving lady like you deserves much better than that.

[Bev06 GG]

Thanks ladies, for all your encouraging and supportive words. It's times like these that you need your friends and indeed when you find out who they really are. I'd forgotten what a supportive bunch you all were on here.

[queenie]

Some people are just not worth your time. You deserve much better...

[donnalee]

Oh Bev, how awful! You have all my sympathy.
Just remember the best form of revenge is that he has to go on being him, and you get to go on being you!

[Jenny Elwood]

Hi Bev

I am sorry to hear that you've had such a bad time. I know that things will look up for you in future, since despite what has happened to you, you still exude such a positive radiance. If there's one thing I know it is that good things follow good people.

[TrishaMarie]

Bev, I am so sorry to hear everything you have had to go through. He doesn't deserve a wonderful and devoted lady like you. I myself have tried not to do it anymore and finally just realized this is who I am and I better accept it. And honestly since I have accepted it, it has allowed my wife to better accept me, and be open to a few select friends. He will get what he deserves, it will come back with a vengeance and with the fact that he doesn't want the other lady to know about it, she probably will not accept him. As I said he doesn't deserve you. God bless you and if it is Okay with you I will pray for your treatment to make you healthy again. With Love, Trisha

[SherriePall]

Bev -- I am so sorry to hear about your troubles. So sad that the cad left you when you were going through all that. I'll be praying for you.
BTW, save his things he left behind and when the urge to dress returns, sell them back to him. Maybe you'll recoup your financial losses.