Did not want to:

[julietalyse]

Coming off of two days of pure joy, I had to choose. I had two fantastic girly days. Fully dressed for the two 24 hour periods. I cooked, watched some movies, washed clothes, worked a few hours each day in my office, called a few business(s), took a couple of short walks, and spent much of the time taking pictures.

I started by methodically doing my makeup. The makeup looked better than it ever looked before. Recently I have been listening to the professionals here. A happy girl I was. Laid out the different combinations of clothing, shoes, wigs, jewelry, nylons, etc that I planned to take pictures of. From the beginning the feeling was one of fulfillment. Changing clothes and taking pictures took most of both days. Each combination was a thrill in itself. What fun to concentrate on my dressing. Then came reality.

I had to put the clothes way, undressed, put the camera away, clean up my new files on the computer, E-Mail some of these pictures to friends, but the most disturbing item was I had to go back to guy mode. AND I did not want to do anything like that. Procrastinating was my only salvation. I literally waited until the very last minute before succumbing to reality. Next I found myself grumpy, even to myself. I wanted to stay a girl and not be back to guy mode.

Yes the facts are clear. While I stay in Cross Dressing mode I will always be faced with this. Is this a stepping off place? I do wonder what will come next.
JulietAlyse

[Anna H]

I Do understand that! ♥♥

Sometimes it lasts a long time for me. Sometimes, life and the problems
it brings makes me in a hurry to get on with that. It's different for me, and
always has been.

It can help to plot out several days in advance...with No distractions
in store...if/when that's do-able. I guess that's just common sense, though....

Always something to look forward to! Life doesn't tend to get too boring
very often for our kind....

[anaissa]

I so totally understand, Juliet Alyse. When I transition back to male mode, I become quite sad--even if I know that I will be able to dress again very soon. I am happiest when I allow my feminine persona to emerge. All other times I feel like a fraud.

Hang in there darlin'. And by the way, I really love your name.

[Adriana Moretti]

i wait to the last minute too...if i have a 2 day window...i usually will not sleep the entire time.....i wish i never had to change back.....but once in a while I have to show up for work.

[julietalyse]

Thank you for your understanding and kind comments. Your knowing of my dilemma first hand is assuring to me. As I dress more often and for longer periods, going back to guy mode becomes less desirable. Thanks for noticing my name. It has a French background and comes partially from my mother’s name.

[Marcelle]

Hi Juliet,

I understand your angst especially when you go to great lengths to get all girly then have to switch back. For me it is a bit different as while I love being Isha, I do love my boy self equally so I don't mind changing back . . . the best part is I get to look forward to seeing Isha again.

Hugs

Isha

[kimdl93]

What comes next is your choice, really. If your life circumstances permit, why not expand the amount of time you spend dressed. If there are obstacles, identify them and figure out how to get around them. It's really worth it.

[MeDeanna]

.....but once in a while I have to show up for work.

You're killing me.

[Katey888]

Juliet - of course we all feel that... some of us more than others...

Be happy about the two days and that you might get another two days (or more..) in the future - and spare a thought for those of us who might be lucky enough to just get two hours at a time, but still feel the same way...

Katey x

[MsVal]

Oh my, how shall I respond to one that has has just returned from a two day journey to the land of femininity, where the sights are beautiful and the air is sweet with perfume? A place that I did not go, and am unlikely to go any time in the foreseeable future?

Let's see ... How did I usually respond to someone that has just returned to work after such a vacation?

"Hi Fred, have a good time?"
"Yep."
"Get to Don's office right away. While you were gone he screwed up your project."

Best wishes
MsVal

[Beverley Sims]

Juliet,
Procrastination reigns supreme sometimes.
It is damn annoying having to go back.

[princessheather86]

This is exactly how I feel. If circumstances allowed it I would just dress every single day.

[carhill2mn]

I, too, know exactly how you feel! I am often en femme for 3 days at a time (sometimes more) and still procrastinate as long as possible before reverting back to male mode. The really irritating part is that I have to remove my pretty nail polish for only a few hours of drab.

[Diane Edwards]

I admit that I hate having to change from being Diane as I always feel more comfortable, showing who it is I really am. Like you, I will make the change back to 'Dave' as late as I can.

It helps that I live alone and I can live life as Diane quite a bit more than 60% of the time. There have been a few times when I didn't have to make the dreaded change back for a few months at a time, but when the time came when I had to. Making the transition back was hard.

[Candy Cox]

Well, PrincessHeather said it for me, I wish it could be all the time.
I feel really disappointed when I have to go back to boy mode.
Some one said overcome the obstacles: hmmm- family, friends work, ...
I day dream of getting a job far away, and taking it as Candy.
Just imagine- 24/7 girly WOW
Candy

[CynthiaD]

I can so identify with this. I was off sick a couple of days this week. I was going to just stay in bed, but then I realized that I just felt too bad to stay in male mode all day, so I spent the days in girl mode, mostly just sleeping. I felt miserable and happy at the same time. Once I felt better I had to go back to male mode for work. I was happy to be feeling better, but sad at the same time.

[lingerieLiz]

I understand the angst of the situation. I used to hear it every day as coworkers complained that they weren't out golfing, skiing or what ever yet another day. I sat and looked at the women wishing I could have worn that suit, blouse, or skirt to work that some of them were wearing.

[Glenda58]

Juliet I know what you mean I have been dressing for 2 days now the wife is coming back tomorrow. I don't want to take off my makeup after I had it done today.

[princessheather86]

Well, PrincessHeather said it for me, I wish it could be all the time.
I feel really disappointed when I have to go back to boy mode.
Some one said overcome the obstacles: hmmm- family, friends work, ...
I day dream of getting a job far away, and taking it as Candy.
Just imagine- 24/7 girly WOW
Candy

I know what you mean! I actually have a crazy plan to do this... when I finish my bachelors degree I'd like to start a new college course at a whole different campus, change my name to something gender-neutral (they still do roll call at my college, he he) and just become a girl forever. I would be so happy.

[julietalyse]

princessheather86,

Our minds must be working in parallel. I am now retired, and the plan is to be living as a girl more and more of the my days. We do need to be happy within the days we have been given.