Outed ??? to next door neighbour (by accident) - advice please !!!

[busker]

just tell some bald faced lie like it's for a party.
Highly improbable but it does work if you answer in a casual manner.

Rachel, this is the best advice you'll get today. There is NO WAY that anyone will believe a 58 year old divorced guy is "just browsing" IN THE WOMEN"S SHOE DEPT.
Oh how the pink fog rolls in. You were caught, and you will likely need to tell a whopper--if you so choose--but do you suspect that your neighbor is that dumb to think you were just browsing? Unfortunately, women get away with browsing and shopping in the men's dept with impunity (because a lot of men are incapable of shopping for themselves--sadly).

[carrie2014]

I do all my shoe shopping at payless or payless on line. The first time i went in to store I told the manager of the store i was 11 1/2 A mens shoe ( I really do wear that size). I told her that womens size 13 or 13 wide fit great. If anyone in the store stops me to tell me that i am in the womens section i tell them the same thing about my narrow foot. No more questions from customers or sales people.

[Eryn]

Rachel, I sincerely doubt that you have a problem!

Your neighbor was not on a "CDer hunt." They saw someone that they recognized and said hello. They likely didn't even take note of what department you were in. They were concentrating on you. Even if they did note it, there is nothing wrong with gazing at attractive women's shoes. That's why women wear them!

Now, if you were trying on a fabulous pair of red pumps they might have taken notice but that isn't the case.

Most of our fears are in our own heads. Yes, they do help us avoid problems, but let's not have them paralyze us.

You might want to take your shopping farther from home to avoid meeting people you know and to let you be more comfortable with trying items on.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Rachel;

Honestly you are 58, Live in the UK where cross dressing has a long long honorable tradition going back to the 1600's . And the church !, Don't get me started on the clergy in their frocks and gowns, with all the lace, baubles and trim, passing them off as 'vestments". Makes you wonder where the term Trans-"vest"-ite originated ?!?!? Hmmmm ?

If I were in your shoes , loafers (with tassels of course) or pumps, I would have picked up the nearest black 3 inch heels and explained how marvelous they would go with his best Sunday frock.

I understand the social stigma of small communities, but how many more days are you going to let someone make you feel shameful for being you. You are breaking no laws, state or church by shopping. Take a bit and read up on false guilt vs true guilt. I think it will really open your eyes and give you the freedom to shop where ever and whenever you want to.

[Rachel292]

I drove down the road a couple of streets away earlier this afternoon. Her husband was driving the opposite way. All I got was the usual acknowlegement as we passed.

[Jessica EnFemme]

If I saw a neighbor in the women's department, I'd assume they're buying a gift for a relative or friend. I wouldn't think anything of it, honestly!

[Michellegryl]

Rachel, I agree with Kelly here.

"I understand the social stigma of small communities, but how many more days are you going to let someone make you feel shameful for being you. You are breaking no laws, state or church by shopping."

I would not worry about it personally but if you are I certainly would not Lie about it. Lies have a way of coming around to bite you in the tush when you least expect it. Whatever you do, hold your head high and own it. Do not feel or display shame or shy away, as that is what people pick up on and will be more inclined to take a closer look and try and understand why you are acting that way.

Good Luck

[HelenR2]

Sorry mate, you.re busted. Fess up and free yourself.