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Thread: Home after a great night out in San Francisco

  1. #1
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    Home after a great night out in San Francisco

    Last night, AllieSF, Rachaelsloan and I went out. Started at a wine bar, then dinner, then another wine bar. As happens every time they go out, nothing happened. It was all perfect normal. Our waitress at dinner didn't miss a beat when taking our order. "Would you like to start with a drink ladies?" Dinner was good and no one in the restaurant did a double take nor pointed, threw rocks, nothing. We closed the night at great little wine bar that was packed. Allie asks a young couple (turned out to be husband and wife) sitting at a table for 4 if we could join them. "Sure," was the answer. What ensued was conversations with two great people who didn't care we were cross dressers, but they had questions and we happily answered. This is almost a word for word recap of my first conversation:
    David (the husband): Do you mind if I ask you a question?
    Me: "No"
    David: "Are you gay?"
    Me: "No, I'm straight, married with three kids."
    David: "Do you live full time as a woman?"
    Me: "Nope, I'm strictly a part timer."
    David: "Does your wife know?"
    Me: "Yes, she goes out with me on occasion."
    David: "So you just like to dress as a woman?"
    Me: "Yep. Weird isn't it?"
    David: "Not THAT weird. Good for you."

    Funny how "normal" it all was.

    I was the overdressed as compared to the women out but only a bit. Just can't help it.
    Here's what I wore, you can't see the 3 1/2in black pumps. Excuse the background as it was the only mirror in the hotel room. If you are thinking about going out, go main stream!
    Attached Images Attached Images

  2. #2
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Well, I wouldn't say you were overdressed Jennifer - very appropriate and charming really..

    Sounds like you had a great evening for all its uneventfulness - but isn't reality like that a lot of the time? Good fun - and nobody threw a hissy fit over anything... Great!

    And I'm envious that you have such a great city like SF (and others, lest people feel left out..) where folk are obviously so accommodating - but I'm pleased that you share that experience with us; it's inspiring to read about it and see it. Thank you!

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

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    Katey, there is no question that S.F. is the holy grail of acceptance cities. But I did not see any other cross dressers there! Fundamentally, people are ok with diversity. And we were just three normal cross dressers. Nothing to get your panties in a bunch about;-)

  4. #4
    "A glass of wine anytime" rachaelsloane's Avatar
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    Jenn, it was really good seeing you last night and next time your wife has to join us. I'm going to add to what Jenn has posted. Allie and I do go to these places (mainstream) so most of the staffs' knows us and treat us like royalty (life is great), but what is really interesting as Jenn mentioned, is that our interaction with those sitting near us was NORMAL conversation and this happens EVERYTIME we go out. At the end of the evening, Allie and I look at each other and shake our heads.
    " I love the life I live and I live the life I love"

  5. #5
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Jenn,

    It sounds like you had a great time . . . hopefully not too much wine What a great couple you got to sit with. The more I go out the more I am convinced that for the most part what we do is really a big non-event. You just proved that point yet again.

    BTW I really like your dress. I note you are wearing a sweater, just curious if you suffer the same issue as me . . . guy shoulders? Our spring/summer will soon be upon us and I am wondering how you find sweaters in warmer weather?

    Hugs

    Isha

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Christen's Avatar
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    Ahh, you look great Jen! And so pleased the three of you had a great night.

    Christen x
    “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
    and rightdoing there is a field.
    I'll meet you there.” - Rumi.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isha View Post
    I note you are wearing a sweater, just curious if you suffer the same issue as me . . . guy shoulders? Our spring/summer will soon be upon us and I am wondering how you find sweaters in warmer weather?
    You hit the nail on the head Isha. I look like an East German swimmer! All my sweaters are really thin so not warmth there. I'll also go with cotton long sleeves dresses or skirts with long sleeve tops. It's usually ok as long as I am not in the heat of The day

  8. #8
    Curmudgeon Member donnalee's Avatar
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    Well, to start with, SF has a group of men who sit outside naked at one public corner of the Castro, so I don't even know if we are on the sensationalist's radar; if so, we must be pretty far down the list. Across the bay, there is more chance of negative encounters; although the governments are ultra-liberal or at least talk that way, there are a lot of baptists and catholics who are not accepting and the odds of unpleasant encounters are dramatically increased. One city is far above average for crimes and generally makes the national top 10 list for felonies, so just walking around can be dangerous.
    ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!

    "The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)

  9. #9
    Super Moderator GretchenJ's Avatar
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    Hi Jenn

    So glad you had a great time out, and come across people ( which I think most people are ) who are truly nice.
    I don't think you look overdressed, rather you look very classy and feminine

  10. #10
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    this is great news!!!!! i am dying to make it out to SF for a few nights....i heard good things i have been there before but never dressed

  11. #11
    Senior Member Glenda58's Avatar
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    Good for you Jenny wish I was in a warmer calamite. It feels so good when things go smooth.
    GLENDA
    I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I have had a few great nights in San Francisco, never met anyone else to share with, maybe in November.
    Unless there is early snow.

    Castro is interesting at night.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Sabrina133's Avatar
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    Jenniferathome,

    When i was in the Army, i was stationed at Monterey for a while (what an incredible assignment that was), anyway, i'd do a weekend getaway up to SF about twice a month. It was positively liberating to be up there. Dressed or not, people were just amazingly nice. Oh yeah, and lets not forget the food, the bars and the well, the food. Glad you had a good time.

    Hugs
    Bree

  14. #14
    Member DianeDeBris's Avatar
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    Hi Jenn - delighted to hear of your wonderful, comfortable adventure (and oh so jealous!). I really don't see you as being like the East German swimmers, although I share your appreciation of the utility of sweaters. You look great in the photo (as always) - no East German swimmer could ever pull off horizontal stripes! Hugs - Diane

  15. #15
    Seasoned Member Rhonda Darling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    . . . . people are ok with diversity. And we were just three normal cross dressers. Nothing to get your panties in a bunch about;-)
    Three normal crossdressers?? I nearly peed laughing at that. How great that we can actually view ourselves that way -- normal crossdressers! I'm definitely adding that phrase to my lexicon.

    Glad you all had a safe time of it out and about in SF.

    Rhonda
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Be all the woman that you can be!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    . . . and now, On With The Show!

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    Jen, Sounds lovely. SF is on the bucket list.
    Love normal KristyE

  17. #17
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    Sounds like a great time and a familiar conversation. It's really not that wierd!
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  18. #18
    Senior Member mikiSJ's Avatar
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    Jennifer, I so glad you had a great time with Allie and Rachel. I hope you went to the Wine Jar on Fillmore. That is a great place; small, cozy, nice people and atmosphere.

    The biggest problem in going out with Allie is that she has absolutely no shame in asking people around her to be her friends, at least for the evening.
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    Donnalee

    Those guys on the corner are not even attractive and mostly get in the way of a nice afternoon/evening.

    I was in the Castro a couple of Friday nights ago. First time in a long time and that neighborhood is heading downhill fast. I would recommend passing on spending much time there - just a quick sightseeing walk-through. There are much better places in San Francisco to be a normal crossdresser (Jennifer, Allie & Rachel) or transgender (me). Most of the more affluent gays have moved to better neighborhoods or across the Bay to Oakland (yes, Oakland).
    When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.

  19. #19
    Pretty in Pink Barbie Anne's Avatar
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    Sounds like you had a blast hon. Happy for you.
    Also sounds like,( to me at least), this young couple was getting some ideas from you all, or gaining strength for their own outing maybe?

    Anyway glad you had such a good time.
    Barbie

  20. #20
    Living in CD Heaven Helen Grandeis's Avatar
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    Glad you had a great time and had friends to go on the beach with.
    Best Wishes for Personal Peace & Happiness
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    Helen Grandeis

  21. #21
    Member melissakozak's Avatar
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    The great thing about San Francisco, and I used to live there, is that no one cares about who you are or what you wear. It truly is a magnificent, diverse and wonderful place to live and I miss it. Glad you had fun in my old stomping ground.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhonda Darling View Post
    Three normal crossdressers?? I nearly peed laughing at that. How great that we can actually view ourselves that way -- normal crossdressers! I'm definitely adding that phrase to my lexicon.
    But this is how it should be Rhonda. San Francisco or anywhere else. If you treat your activities like they are "normal", then they are. And that is how it should be. It is one of the toughest things when going out in the beginning as our nerves and apprehensions take some of the normal out of it. But once you settle down those thoughts, it is another day in the life.

  23. #23
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    I entirely agree with Sue. We are normal if we accept ourselves .
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  24. #24
    Senior Member MsVal's Avatar
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    It sounds like you had a perfectly wonderful evening.
    On the behalf of those that live the life vicariously "Thank you for telling me all about it."

    Best wishes
    MsVal

  25. #25
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    MsVal, the reason I share my experiences is for those who think they can't. If you want, you can. That's the real message.

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