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Thread: Reality bites ... Hard!

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Christen's Avatar
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    Reality bites ... Hard!

    So, today was going to be a wonderful day. I've got the day to myself from 8.30 this morning. The plan? Long shower, do my hair (I actually got heaps of volume in to it, thought it looked OK),very careful makeup - subtle, less is more, slip in to favourite outfits, take some great photo's and finally show the girls at CD.com just how lovely I am.
    Unfortunately, the great girl I see in the mirror refuses to appear in photo's. All I can see is my guy side in makeup and a dress, even worse I look more and more like my late Dad, so this morning I think I saw my Dad in a dress, not good at all.
    Utter, utter disappointment! As much as I'd love to post a full picture, I doubt it's going to happen. I reckon I'd have the transformation studio's shaking their heads. There I was, trying to decide whether I should burst in to tears or chuck a big wobbly (hissy fit). I want to look as sensational as so many of you do, knowing full well that obviously not everyone can do that.
    So what to do? Well, I put on a pretty scarf, added a spritz of YSL Paris perfume, made a double shot flat white coffee and jumped on CD.com, where everyone is wonderful and supportive and friendly and witty. I feel better already!
    You know what? It's a good thing getting some reality. I know I absolutely luurrrve getting all dressed up, pampering myself, I love the smell of makeup in the morning (was that in a film?), relaxing around the house feeling all the sensations this brings. God I love walking in heels. But home would seem to be the place for me and I'm good with that.
    Just one other conundrum to solve for the day, white or red, or both?. Both? For goodness sake! Show some self control, girl!

    Love you all!
    Christen x
    “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
    and rightdoing there is a field.
    I'll meet you there.” - Rumi.

  2. #2
    Member JenniferYager's Avatar
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    Every day is a different challenge...don't ever let it beat you down! Good to hear you kept your chin up and had a good attitude to boot!

  3. #3
    A California Girl Rachel Morley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christen View Post
    Unfortunately, the great girl I see in the mirror refuses to appear in photo's. All I can see is my guy side in makeup and a dress
    Yeah, I hear you .... that happens to me too. What's up with that? Somehow the image I see in the mirror always looks better than in pics. I put it down to my slight near sightedness ... it's the slight blurr in my vision that softens my wrinkles! LOL.
    .
    The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member dana digs sweaters's Avatar
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    Take advantage of the opportunity even if it does not completely cooperate with the mirror.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member
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    of course, we all face limitations. I pulled my avi and profile pictures a while back simply cause I was tired being reminded that I didn't like the way I looked. But, oddly, that has not stopped me from getting out and doing things in the community, coming out to select family and friends and generally feeling good about myself and who I am. Why? Simply because each of us is more than appearance, and people can pick that up too. Beside, I"m sure that many GGs have the same feeling from time to time. Life goes on, whether we live it the way we want, or hide from it. That is reality too.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  6. #6
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    All great supportive comments so far and I echo their sentiments. Now about those pictures. Take the pics and cut off that bothersome head. I love to look at great outfits with interesting material, color and presentation styles. Enjoy the day and as one wise singer used to say, "Smile, Don't worry!"

  7. #7
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    To get pictures that I actually like, I take tons of them. To get a picture of just my face that I actually like it generally takes about a hundred shots for me to get one or two decent ones. Film is so unforgiving.

  8. #8
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    I know how you feel, so many hear work very hard to get their look, no to mention have such great natural feminine features.
    I know I will never achieve the look I dream of but I work with what I have and mostly I don't go out but I'm happy dressing at home putting on my makeup and taking pictures to share. We all have our stories and pitfalls

  9. #9
    Banned Read only
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    Christen, we're dudes! Hard not to look guy ihs when you are a guy. Just keep trying new techniques and watch your progress. It's fun anyway, right?

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member GenieGirl's Avatar
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    Don't get to down Christen it happens to us all. I don't like most of my pics, only a handful do I think I look passable as a girl. I don't take a lot of pictures period because I've always hated taking pictures ever since I was a little boy I never smile. I try to a bit now. So don't be surprised if I hardly ever crack a smile in most of my pics I post. For one I hate my big baby cheeks there always made me feel fat even though I'm only 160lbs. Im working on losing weight for my figure one as a guy and a girl I prefer to be skinny and two so my cheecks aren't as big. Would like to get back down to about 140ish. So cheer up pucker up and take those pics girl. Do you have better luck with videos? In videos I look so much better than my pics I think.

  11. #11
    New Member Kellie79's Avatar
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    Hang in there Christen. I am sure you look very pretty!

    I got rid of so many pictures because they had too many 'dude' features in them. You should know, though, that we are usually pickier than even most GGs when it comes to taking care of
    our bodies, makeup and clothing. So, it is highly likely that you're way more critical than most GGs would be!

    xoxo
    Kellie

  12. #12
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    yea girl have fun with it...i feel the same way sometimes and i just say to myself " I will try again tomorrow"....no matter what though I try to enjoy the day even if im not happy with the look. It aint easy ....but it can be fun

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Christen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllieSF View Post
    Take the pics and cut off that bothersome head. Enjoy the day and as one wise singer used to say, "Smile, Don't worry!"
    Thanks to you all, or is that y'all? My american is somewhat lacking, on the other hand my english is reasonable (God, please don't be offended by that comment) (( Not you God, the other girls.))
    Yep, I'm going to get back to it, never say die!
    And Jen, Adriana? It is fun, isn't it!!

    Christen x
    Last edited by Christen; 02-26-2014 at 11:43 PM.
    “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
    and rightdoing there is a field.
    I'll meet you there.” - Rumi.

  14. #14
    Slightly Askew jaye_cd's Avatar
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    If you've given it your best effort and you do not like what you see in the mirror, stop looking, and just go with how you feel! That is what really matters!
    Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earth-bound misfit, I.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member TeresaCD's Avatar
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    It's the hardest thing. To see past the guy in photos, and for some reason, selfies are the worst.
    I have moments before going out that I am horrified at how I look, but I'm stubborn enough to go out.
    Oddly, those are the days I get the most compliments..
    I journal my outings, and often photograph myself before going out, and some of those photos I cannot believe are the same person I see in the mirror (and not in a good way)

    My first makeover late April last year made a huge difference for me.
    Before then, only fantasised about going out, after then could actually imagine it.
    Huge step late May, done in a safe way, and the rest is history.
    Red or white, lucky girl!
    Learning to be me - the best me I can be

  16. #16
    Senior Member Suzanne F's Avatar
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    If it truly makes you happy then it will come through! Especially us girls will see that special glow.
    It reminds me I am not here to judge but share. We shouldn't judge ourselves either. I do want to look as good as I can but that is not the goal for me. I want to be authentic and reflect how I feel, at least some of the time. Post the best picture and give us a big smile!
    Suzanne

  17. #17
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Dear Christen - don't be too hard on yourself, we all are and can be our own worst enemies sometimes..

    But it's good that you seem to have recovered the positive aspects because there are always are some... (either that or you've already drowned the negative aspects with some red or white 'local anaesthetic'... ) And I think we all know what you mean about cameras refusing to play ball - some days are better than others, sometimes it can be just in your head.

    You've done the right thing - by now you should have enjoyed your day thoroughly, and while you might only end up with 'body shots' you do at least have a slim, classy and elegant lower 90% - so let's see some outfits!!

    And have another red for me - I'm still on coffee #1...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member Jenny Elwood's Avatar
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    Christen it's all about having some fun after all so don't worry about it so much. Keep trying and I'm sure you'll get some pics you'll love sometime.

  19. #19
    Life is for having fun. suzy1's Avatar
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    We are all beautiful girls here Christen and you are gorgeous.
    So pull yourself together and stop acting like a silly girl and be a grown up woman!

  20. #20
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Christen,
    I certainly don't look as good as I was at seventeen.
    I have learned to live with it and adjust.
    As long as I feel good inside I am alright.
    When you look at the other beautiful people here compare yourself to someone your own age.
    Otherwise you may feel like Grandma out with the grand kids.
    Grandma don't look so hot anymore, but she has not lost that warm fuzzy feeling inside her.

    You shouldn't either.
    Remember familiarity breeds contempt.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  21. #21
    Did you say shopping? Caden Lane's Avatar
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    Sometimes a bad photo is a result of harsh or not enough lighting. The flash causes a lot of glare, washes out color that you painstakingly add to your face. They key is to reduce glare, soften shadow and you just might get a higher ratio of acceptable photos. I use a Gary Fong light sphere on my external flash and it does everything I just mentioned.

    Don't forget to have the right settings for your lighting and check your white balance as well. Sometimes it just may be location. Try outdoors photos if they are all coming up bad. Natural light is far more forgiving.

    You might also want to invest in portrait software to let you fine tune your facial features in photos. Or use a soft lens effect from Photoshop.
    "These aren't 'women's clothes'. These are my clothes. I bought them with my own money."
    Eddie Izzard

    I'm flipping genders, what's your super power?!?!

    Please visit my wordpress blog: http://southerncrossdresser.wordpress.com

  22. #22
    Just a touch of class Lynn Marie's Avatar
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    Pictures? Hell, I just get lucky now and then. Sometimes I even surprise myself! Good hair seems to help me more than anything else.

  23. #23
    Senior Member
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    I don't know too many GG's who like the way they look in pictures. All I ever hear from my wife when she sees herself is "Too many chins; too many wrinkles; I've gotta lose some weight; God, my hair looks terrible in that picture."

  24. #24
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    GenieGirl,
    Videos? You have videos ? And you look better in them ?? I cannot comprehend you looking better.. hehehe Have a nice day.

  25. #25
    Silver Member Jordan's Avatar
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    We are who we are don't get down on yourself we are our own worse critics I bet you make a beautiful girl

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