I have a gg friend who is very supportive of my dressing. We have been out with me dressed and have gone shopping abd dinner while I have been dresssed. In fact we used to date. She wants to have a physical relationship with me. So one day while dressed I kissed her. She pulled away said she is not into girls and can't be with me while dressed. Should I be happy that she thinks of me this way or sad that I can't be with her as a girl?
She mike
I would be happy myself, maybe she will change her mind but at the very least you have a partner that accepts you and is ok with your dressing
If she is not gay it would be natural for her not to be attracted to your female side. People have different ways of dealing our different presentations and it appears as if she has separated your male and female sides into separate persons in her mind. She is friends with your female side and physically attracted to your male side.
Part of tolerance is understanding how others perceive us and adapting to make them comfortable.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
Keep the friendship.
It should be treasured.
If she has a boundary for intimacy while you are presenting as female, that should be honored.
She is not hard wired for woman to woman contact.
How you are wired, only you know. Be honest with her about it.
If it is a must to be passionate as a woman, you need to find a woman shares those desires with you.
Last edited by dana digs sweaters; 03-01-2014 at 07:27 PM.
The wife of a trans girl (both are my friends) puts it best: "I love being intimate with her when she's being Kristy, but that's separate and different than whether I am attracted to women and whether I will seek intimacy from only other women, were I not married." Some people are that way; some are not. I'd give your friend space and respect, appreciate her friendship, and let feelings develop on their own.
Why r u asking us? I think you're old enuff to decide for yourself, Shemike!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
annaaustintx gives great advise on the subject in my opinion. Some people are able to get under their own hood and do the required internal re-wiring to be with someone who presents his- or herself outside of common gender norms. Some folks either don't wish to (for a multitude of reasons), or don't really have the introspection skills to do it successfully. If she is having issues she is inevitably unable to resolve, then why does it matter? In that case you two would not really be compatible. Its good to be OK with the idea that we as humans are not compatible in a relationship with everyone out there.
E²
Neither. You should appreciate that she accepts you. Acceptance does not mean anything goes sexually. An apology that you put her in an awkward position would be in order.
And I have to add that I am shocked that you were, "shocked by (this) response." I'd call it a very typical response.
Last edited by Jenniferathome; 03-01-2014 at 07:55 PM.
I wouldn't be too shocked by her response. I would however grab that woman and hang onto her if she's ok with you dressing. It's not too much to ask for her to want you to be a "male" occasionally.
My wife not only accepts but encourages me to be Barbie as much as I feel I need. She has said however that she wants me manly in the bedroom
Barbie
I understand her and you need to decide if you can revert to being a man. Would you find her attractive sexually if she dressed as a guy? My wife does not want to have sex with a woman. I honor that. The same as I would not want to have sex with a man. She accepts that I dress.
In the past I've dated girls that were fine with my dressing. Some I suppose were bi, but we all have preferences and boundaries.
My SO wants to know my guy side when we get intimate and I'm ok with that. Perhaps you should talk to yours and see if she wants you as a whole guy when intimate but will accept you as a girl at other times.
Luv andJill
Straight, into Fantasy Land
Just be happy you have a girlfriend that knows and accepts.
Maybe you can be more unhappy by finding another girlfriend that doesn't understand at all.
Be happy with what you have.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Thats really cool to have an understanding friend like that, good on you for having the courage to give her a kiss dressed!
That's not surprising, as everyone has their limits. My wife accepts me as someone who is bi-gendered but even then there are limits. If I were to cross into the transsexual zone, she would be done. So be grateful that your friend accepts you for who you are, and understand that she has limits just like you do.
@shemike - I think you should be happy that you found out that a physical relationship with this woman may not be for you. If you need to be intimate with her while presenting as female, and she can't handle that, it's liable to be a problem for both of you down the road.
I'd talk with her about what you need, and what she needs, and whether or not you can accommodate each other. If not, my advice would be to stay friends, but not get physical.
You can't have your cake and eat it too! Obviously she wants to have a physical relationship with a male presenting as a male. You're fortunate she can accept your cross dressing and see you also as a man she wants to have a physical relationship with. Frankly, why do you want to present as a woman when having a physical relationship with a woman? That's the furthest thing from my mind. It's also the furthest thing from my wife's mind. If you want to present as a woman in a sexual relationship is there any room for you to have a physical relationship with a man?
@Stephanie47 - amazingly enough, different people are turned on by different things from one another. Wanting to be intimate with a woman while presenting as a woman is a not uncommon turn-on for some CDs. Also, surprisingly enough, one can present as a woman - and only like women!
Paula,
Thanks for adding that comment, I know why I have that problem and have explained it to my wife, to me it is so intimate that I struggle to understand the revulsion.
Let change the word and feeling from shocked to saddened
Sounds like she is sending you mixed messages but the bottom line in my opinion is you have someone that accepts you in girl mode, is willing to go out with you shopping and dining. If I were in your shoes I would apologize and keep the relationship as they are hard to come by. Acceptance of any life style is golden, treasure it!
Hi Shemike,
My wife and I are great friends whether I am "en femme" or "en boy" but while I am Isha we are just that "friends". Intimate relationship is not in our cards while I present female as both her and I would feel very awkward so when it comes to that side of our relationship it is only "boy" me. However, I can understand if you are saddened by this revelation especially if you were hoping for more. The key thing is now that you know, talk to her and put the subject to rest. I am not sure if you already did this or not but you might want to explain why you did what you did "crossed signals" and that you hope it does not damage your friendship. You still have a great GG friend and I think she needs to know that.
Hugs
Isha
When my wife and I firsr found Tina we had no idea how it would play out. When I transform to Tina I lose my guy self. We've both worked hard at giving Tina the tools to feel/act/be, as much as possible, a woman. We've come to the conclusion that there really are two gendered people in my head limited in expression only by my physical body and experience being a girl.
Given that, I had to wonder how my wife really viewed Tina. The day she told my male self that she could never have the slightest romantic interest in Tina I really knew that she saw Tina as a girlfriend, but more importantly, as a woman for all intents and purposes. In many ways that acknowledgement has done more for Tina's self worth than any one other act. After 8 years we're still trying to figure out how to greet each othrr initially upon meeting since as husband and wife we are so very constantly intimate.
Bottom line, I think this incident is a tremendous positive reinforcement of your femininity.
You can be both. It's great to have a friend willing to go out with you when you're dressed. And it's nice that the relationship has grown to the point of intimacy.
Perhaps over time she'll come to accept that it's the same person, regardless of the clothes you're wearing at the time. If not, that ok....you can be any gender you want with your clothes off.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
In all fairness to Shemike, Pink Fog may be the cause of a temporary inability to see things from another person's perspective. In time, the fog may clear and this will become a non-issue.
(Spoken as one that recently drove off the road in a dense fog.)
Best wishes
MsVal
you should be ecstatic to have this person as a friend,
you say she wants a physical relationship, so how was this determined,
if you discussed it you need to listen to what each of you will need going forward with it.
apologize for kissing while in femme as a way to restart that conversation,
then build the relationship based on those results,
in the end she would still be your GG girlfriend, and maybe your soul-mate for life...
abd dinner while dressed is not the reason for expecting the physical relation....?
....Mykell
i dressed like a girl and i liked it!
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