Shocked by response

[Erica Anne]

Shemike,
I would not be worried, just be happy she accepts you en femme. Perhaps she only wants to be friends.

My wife was accepting of me and did not matter how I was dressed. She did not push me away if I was dressed, but she preferred intimate contact with me in male mode rather than girl mode which was also my preference as well. Sometimes we had some interesting times together where it did not matter.

You could try kissing her in male mode and see what happens. If she pulls away, then perhaps friendship is as far as it will go. Actually I would not push the issue. Just be yourself, if there is something there it will grow into more than friendship. I am trying to be optimistic here. Do not feel bad if nothing becomes of this, just be happy you have someone to share part of your life with.

[Tina B.]

Great girl friend that will go shopping and dinning with you in girl mode, but has no interest in a girl on girl thing, and you ask if you should have a friendship with this girl? Well I don't know your sexual needs, maybe you really need that girl on girl thing. If you do, go find a girl friend that is into that sort of thing, but why waste a great friendship just because she wont sleep with you dressed like that. Or are you already more than just friends, and going out and finding a sex partner would ruin what you have now?
I'm picky, and I want what I want, but if you offer me a new corvette for free, I'm not going to turn you down just because it's not the color I wanted. This girl is already offering a lot.

[Katey888]

Shemike - of course you should be happy...!

Keep her - date her again - keep shopping - take her sailing... Whatever!

But please get on with it - you are a very, very fortunate individual...

Katey x

[shemike]

Katy888, how did you know that I own a sailboat?

[Krisi]

I think that's a pretty normal response from a woman. Do you want a physical relationship with her? If so, do it as a man. You can only go so far in a physical relationsip as a female anyway, at some point the panties come off and there you are, no longer a "girl".

At some point in the relationship, she may start to accept you as a "girl" and things may change. You're still the same person inside, just with a wig and boobs.

[MatildaJ.]

Some people are able to get under their own hood and do the required internal re-wiring to be with someone who presents his- or herself outside of common gender norms. Some folks either don't wish to (for a multitude of reasons), or don't really have the introspection skills to do it successfully.

I see it a little differently. Some people turn out to be bisexual, and can be attracted to some men and some women (no one is attracted to all men or all women). Maybe they never thought about it before, but that's how they turn out to be wired. Some people turn out to be completely gay, and are never attracted to the opposite sex, and some people turn out to be completely straight, and are never attracted to the same sex. I think decades of "reparative therapy" have shown that the rewiring you're talking about is usually impossible. If you're straight, you're straight.

The other thing to remember is that even if someone is bisexual, they are allowed to be attracted to your male persona and not attracted to your female persona. That's how attraction works -- it's not under our control and doesn't respond well to pressure.

[sometimes_miss]

I wouldn't be too shocked by her response. I would however grab that woman and hang onto her if she's ok with you dressing. It's not too much to ask for her to want you to be a "male" occasionally.

^this. Chances are you're not going to find another women who is o.k. with having a crossdresser as a mate. At least not in the next 10 lifetimes or so. If you don't want her, there's about 30,000 of us here who would bend over backwards to meet her. If you're not interested in her, let her know there's a whole lot of nice men here who will be very appreciative of her tolerance on this subject. And I'm within driving distance.

[ReineD]

I'm with everyone else in this thread.

You are fortunate to have found a GG who supports the CDing, but do not be surprised that she is not comfortable with you sexually as a woman. Few hetero GGs would be.

If this is sexually incompatible with who you are, then by all means let her go. But, your dating pool will be limited if you are interested in hetero females, and lesbians will not be interested because of your plumbing.

I don't know if you're interested, but there are meet-up websites for people who are not vanilla. FetLife is a good one although I think it is primarily BDSM. And there are countless sites you could google if you are interested in meeting male admirers or other CDers for sex.

[lovetobedani]

All of us have our limitatons. The fact that she's supportive of you and your feminine side tell you that she has open and accepted and celebrates your fem persona but she does not and cannot see this side of you for an imtimate sexual partner. Be thankful that you ahve her for what she does accept and adjust your thoughts about the other to coinside with hers. It's a small price to pay for a healthy relationship.

[Caden Lane]

Be thankful for what you have, which is someone who obviously cares for you, and is willing to accept a side of you that most women would not. She has made a sacrifice in that she is willing to forgo the normal romantic notion of life she wanted in her younger life, and is willing to embrace a not so normal life. You not getting to be romantic with her while en femme is a small price to pay for that sort of Love and acceptance.

[Annaliese]

Sound like she wants her girl friend, and her man, but not together. When you are dress girl friend only, when in male mode boy friend. Sound good to me, I would go with it. We may all want the moon, but be happy with what we get. I sound like she a keeper.

[busker]

saddened

Maybe your lady friend was saddened as well by what you proposed. A few weeks ago there was an interesting article in the NYTimes about a Belgian therapist and that in turn led to a TED talk. Here are the links to both which are well worth reading and viewing. You get a therapy hour for free and perhaps you will have a better understanding of the lady's reaction.
The Sexual Healer
The Couples Therapy Expert Esther Perel Takes On Sex and Sexuality
Since 2006, when Ms. Perel published a best-selling book, “Mating in Captivity,” she has become a go-to speaker on sexuality and relationships in the world of couples therapy as well as in the luxury self-actualization set.
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/26/fa...herapy.html?hp

TED talk
http://www.ted.com/talks/esther_pere...ationship.html
good luck

[Taylor Ray]

Life presents limited opportunities to us travelers,
So we must prioritize in accordance with our wishes and desires.
You want your wardrobe and you want the girl too.
Life might force you to chose.
Perhaps it is having to chose that saddens you.

[SabrinaEmily]

From my point of view, she still could be, and still should be, a friend, but that would rule out a romantic relationship. I will not willingly enter any romantic relationship in which the other person does not accept me completely. For me that means, among other things, no expectation of being "her man", especially not in terms of sexuality. That doesn't work for me at all and I won't fake it. I want to be a girlfriend, not a boyfriend.

Some think that means I'll always be single. If so, that's much better than the alternative of lying about and compromising myself in my most intimate relationship, of investing myself in hiding for the whole of my one life. It's also not true. I've had that complete acceptance of my transgender nature before, and I will settle for nothing less in the future.

You may see it differently, particularly if your sexuality doesn't work the way mine does. But you need to be completely honest with yourself, as well as with your potential partner.