Hi,

I am coming up on that 1year mark since the first time I ever left the house presenting as Laura. I'm writing because I need to express some feelings, because some who are at home like to read stories like this, and finally in case any veterans want to share what year 2 might be like!

Last March I attended a Tri-Ess meeting. I had NEVER been out before. Never a late night walk, never a drive, no gas stations, nothing. I hit 40 and just felt like I HAD to get out and meet someone like myself. I talked it over with my wife and I went. The people there were wonderful. So nice, so welcoming and sincere Ifeel so lucky to have met them and built relationships with many of them. That day, I went there, changed there, hung out, changed back and went home to babble incessantly.

It wasn't all good moving forward. I began to question "What the hell am I doing?" I was afraid, guilty, and ashamed. I missed a bunch of meetings. Then in the fall I hit rock bottom and realized I couldn't face a future without this outlet and my new friends.

Since then I haven't looked back. I no longer feel ashamed or guilty. I fear the blowback from being outed but not actually being outed. I still take precautions but I drive en femme now, I show up with my ladies coat and bag and have a grand old time.

I've been to a wig boutique, to our Holiday Party at a local hotel, to First Event, made a girl FB page, and lastly I've been to our local club. I love it!

Now, I've never been to a Main Stream venue, among the muggles, though I have had some minor muggle contact. Maybe next year? I SO want to go to Kohl's, sigh...

But Beware those who would venture forth! I have a longing for more that feels as though it will pull my heart out of my chest. This is a problem since I'm married with children. But, a longing that is occasionally fulfilled is better than hating yourself, I think.

I couldn't have gotten here without my TriEss sisters, but I would NEVER have gotten there without my sisters on this board who are always so encouraging and positive!

Thank You,

Laura