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Thread: Have I become the housewife?

  1. #26
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    I just remembered something that happened last week, my in- laws had out of town guest and were in the area and dropped by. My wife had cut some cake and I made and served the coffee, and the gentlemen said to me, that at his house the women serve and make the coffee, I told him well in this house I make the coffee, my wife had to put in her two cents and told him, the women of the house did make and serve you coffee. He didn't laugh but my wife gave me a wink. LOL

  2. #27
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    Hi MJ,
    I don't see it as a bad deal my wife goes out to work, and I do the housework and other jobs in a skirt and heels which is great. I'm sure she intentionally lets the kitchen bin overflow knowing I'm going to have to venture out to empty it. She lets me do all the cooking now which I enjoy, it's very satisfying to see your wife sit down to a meal you've cooked. She doesn't approve of my CDing but approves of a clean house !
    Last edited by Teresa; 03-07-2014 at 07:20 AM.

  3. #28
    Reality Check
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    Every relationship is unique so if you're happy with the way yours is going, that's great.

    The days of June Cleaver vacuuming in a dress, makeup and heels while her husband works in an office dressed in a suit and tie were never really there but they are certainly gone now. Each couple works out what works best for them. If she is working at her job more hours than you, it would be expected for you to do some of the housework and not just sit in a lounge chair waiting for her to come home and fix dinner, clean the house, etc.

  4. #29
    New Member Carol Elizabeth's Avatar
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    I am not a house wife - I am not married to a house. However, I do most of the cleaning, laundry, dishes, cooking, or simply said, I take care of the household chores. My wife doesn't care if I do all these chores dresses as a girl, it is simply less work for her since she works outside the home and I am retired.

    After reading all the previous posts, I noticed that nobody mentioned bragging rights.

    My wife has 5 sisters. Three of them have gone through a divorce from macho men who wouldn't lift a finger to help out in the home if their life depended upon it. I know that my wife would prefer that I wouldn't cross dress, but she feels it is a small concession for all that I do in the home.

    Recently, one of her brothers ended up in the hospital. She and her youngest sister wanted to go visit him in the evening. I told her sister to stop by and have supper with us before heading up. She did and was treated to a supper of chicken, mashed potatoes, sweet corn, and freshly baked brownies for desert. She couldn't believe that I had fixed the meal and remarked that in the 12 years she has been married (to her second husband) he has not fixed one meal for her. What followed was my wife bragging about all that I do.

    "How do you feel about that?" questioned her sister. I simply said that all work is honorable and since I'm retired, it helps fill my day and acted as this is the way things are supposed to be.

    So let me this lengthy post with: "Call me a home maker - not a house wife." And, there is nothing wrong with being one.

  5. #30
    Senior Member MsVal's Avatar
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    Homemaker - One who makes a house, a home.

    Yeah, I can identify with that.

    Oh, by the way ... Welcome to the forum Carol. I hope to see more of your posts in the near future.

    Best wishes
    MsVal
    Last edited by MsVal; 03-07-2014 at 09:43 AM. Reason: addendum

  6. #31
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    If it works for you okay, but you needn't be completely subservient if you don't want to..
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  7. #32
    Member Meg East's Avatar
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    My wife brags I do most of the cooking. She fails to mention some of the time I'm wearing a skirt and heels.

    Personally i can't see why housework should be divided along gender lines.

  8. #33
    Senior Member UNDERDRESSER's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DonnaT View Post
    Not sure what one earns has do to with it.


    It is the number of hours one is out and working. A good husband/wife team share responsibilities, and if one is working longer hours, they should not be expected to come home and do all the cooking/chores as well. Regardless of gender identity.
    That's a good attitude.
    Quote Originally Posted by mechamoose View Post
    Roles are.. well, roles. Parts to be played. They don't have to be the same every day. If you keep it balanced, you will both be happy.
    Another good attitude. A lot of people have too much invested in the roles they are "expected" to play.

    For myself, it works out that I do more household stuff on an hourly basis, mostly because the GF has many commitments outside of work, (let's just say she is an habitual "volunteer" ) she also drives herself too hard and runs her energy levels too low. We're still new to this relationship, and working things out , but so far pretty good. The odd thing is I was not very "houseproud" while living alone, and very disorganized. Sharing a space, and having her "structure" in place, makes it much easier for me to get stuff done.

    Don't think it has much, if anything, to do with the fact that I'm most often in a skirt while doing it.
    "Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO

    Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.

    The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.

  9. #34
    Happy to be me!! S. Lisa Smith's Avatar
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    If everyone is happy, enjoy your happiness!!! Sounds like fun to me. I wouldn't be able to do this however, my wife doesn't like the way I do laundry or make the beds. Everything else I do anyway...

  10. #35
    Asphalt Angel Donna Joanne's Avatar
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    I too have been doing 95% of the "housework" and other domestic chores for years. It started for me when I was a teenager and my mother coaxed me with a driver's license to move back in with her to care for my two younger half brothers. But I didn't mind. Still don't. I can cook, clean and keep a darned good house. My kids are loved and they know that I always have time for them> I've been both a Boy Scout and Girl Scout leader. And was able to all of this independent of what I was wearing. Never found a meatloaf, load of laundry, or sink full of dishes that cared about what I had on.

    My wife suffers from chronic depression and pain along with being legally blind, so I am the main nurturer and domestic goddess along with working outside the home. She tells everyone I'm a wonderful spouse and "would make anyone a wonderful wife". This is something I take great pride in.

    But I'm usually doing all this in a pair of shorts or sweats (depending on temp) and a t shirt. Because I'm Donna no matter what I wear!
    Namaste
    Live, love, laugh,

    Donna


    https://www.facebook.com/donna.jbrack


  11. #36
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    To OP you say that like there is a stigma to doing housework

  12. #37
    Senior Member Princess Grandpa's Avatar
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    I have to think you're wife would hope/expect this type of assistance whether you were a cross dresser or a fisherman. (Not to say one couldn't be both). My point being as her partner in life once her ability to do it all was hindered by the job she will expect you to pick up the slack. If you help well she's pleased and will be happy with other areas of life. If you take too much time off annoyance will build over that and be expressed in various ways.

    I hope increased hours is a career upgrade for her and good for you for stepping up to help more! Enjoy it. I do find housework less tedious in a skirt /giggle

    Hug
    Rita
    A person should wear what he likes to. And not just what other folks say. A person should be who she likes to. A person's a person that way!
    ~Marlo Thomas~

  13. #38
    Senior Member MsVal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beverley Sims View Post
    If it works for you okay, but you needn't be completely subservient if you don't want to..
    Thanks, Beverly, but In my case anyhow it is completely different from servitude. I am not sure whether I am retired or simply between contracts, but when I did work it was mentally challenging IT project management stuff. I was doing analysis, budgets, timelines, staffing, reporting, fire fighting, meetings, ad infiniteum. I find housework to be quite useful, and very necessary, but FAR less mentally taxing. While I DO get physically tired from running around, scrubbing floors, caring for grandkids, doing laundry, etc, I find it preferable to working on yet another needless report in the minutes between senseless hour long meetings I must attend to present my 10 minute status update.

    I also get a great deal of enjoyment from giving back to my wife the tender love and care she has given me over the decades.

    Best wishes
    MsVal

  14. #39
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    I don't mind doing housework because if I don't make an effort to do it, I'll become spoiled.

    If I'm in a dress while doing it, I'll be perpetuating the message that it's women's work--although it's fun for me.

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