Question and Answer Period with a Guy Friend

[Shellycd12]

That is a great story. Love to hear about accepting people.

Hugs, Shelly

[PaulaQ]

BTW, it really is exceedingly brave of you to be so out about this at your job, Isha. Your friends reaction was great, too. I guess times really are changing.

Have you run into any not so accepting people there?

[Teresa]

Hi Isha,
His approach did sound a bit scary at the time, but did you think afterwards he was testing the water ?

[Di]

Very very cool!!!

[Caden Lane]

Awesome story Isha, and handled very well by you and your colleague.

[Marcelle]

Hi all,

Thanks very much for your comments. Yes it was a bit scary at first as I have shared a lot with the guy in the military including several combat missions together. So I was a bit concerned how this would play out . . . not afraid of violence just loss of a good friend.

. . . Have you run into any not so accepting people there?

Hi Paula,

As my occupation is the military and being TG is not against policy you still cannot change attitudes or beliefs. I still have my share of "not so accepting" reactions. These tend to be more along the lines of "Huh? You're joking right?" Some work colleagues who know refuse to make eye contact so for the most part I write them off on the list of people I don't care to associate with. Never had any death threats or implied violence, just indifference. However for the most part all have been quite good.

I did however loose a very close friend to this and when I say close I mean as close as two brothers can be. I still keep tabs on him through his wife (we are good friends . . . I introduced them) and he is slowly coming around. I think he just needs time to process.

Hugs all.

Isha

[jjjjohanne]

Please let him know that the Internet approves of his perfume joke. That was really a tasteful wisecrack. Also, your story makes me appreciate this man. He heard a rumor about someone he respects. He came to you to validate. That is honorable. Now, if it were me, I would be in Q&A mode. "What are people saying about me?" "Do people laugh at me behind my back?"

[Caden Lane]

@jjjohanne- to ask those questions, you have to care what they think and empower their words to mean more than they do. The best bet is to just not care what they say, as it has little bearing on who you, Isha, or anybody really are.

[mykell]

i was anticipating that the story would end that he was a member of CD.com also,
how cool/weird would that have been....

[Raychel]

That is awesome Isha. Best way to approach a subject, truthful and straight on.
I am glad that all worked out good for you.

[junemay]

good to have someone like him so supportive and understanding ....

[mikiSJ]

As my occupation is the military and being TG is not against policy you still cannot change attitudes or beliefs.

I read this line and said 'WT..' then I realized you are in the Canadian military. Attitudes are changing towards CDing to the south of you, but as of now it is against policy to CD in the U.S. military.

Last Saturday I was at a party where one of the girls was an O-4 level (Lt. Commander/Major) officer. During one of our chats she mentioned she was going through a divorce and her wife had let it be known to her commanding officer that she had an affair and also crossdressed. Her CO was much more concerned with the affair and that it wasn't with another member of her branch than the CO was with her CDing. Times are a'changing!

[kimdl93]

It seems that the quality of your friends says something positive about you.

[Rachael Leigh]

It's amazing how open you are Isha, I want that somedays and others I want to be behind the closet door.
Thanks for sharing this, good for you hon
Hugs Leigh

[Julia Red]

That's wonderful. I've had this kind of conversation twice now, but only with GGs so far.

So far the only people that know about my CDing are female. I have a guy friend that I plan to tell someday because I'm sure he won't mind, and would be probably curious about the whole thing, but I'm saving this for the future.

[Beverley Sims]

I agree with what you say Isha, "If asked a straight question, give a straight answer."

[Lexi Moralas]

I love that story !
Also on a side note I wanted to mention I noticed you have been changing your photo lately and in each one you look even prettier than the previous one ! You go girl !

[Sallee]

Great story It is great you are relatively out to some. I wish we all could be relatively out to some. I made the decision a while ago to be truthful if the questionis ever asked. It hasn't been. I would be curious to see how I would answer if it ever is I think I would be truthful. I also thinkvery few folks would write us off for being a CD it might confuse them and maybe they wouldn't understand it but I don't either so it is all OK

[Tracii G]

Its funny the alpha males react the best in some situations like this.
He knows you for who your are and respects you so news like this is easier to process IMO.
I had an old biker buddy ask me that question a few years back and his reply was "man I would have never thought that you dug dressing like a female but hey different strokes for different folks". Lets go get a beer.

[julia marie]

Isha. Great to hear that it went so well. It sounds like you and your friend handled it perfectly. Can't beat honesty and openness! Just a friend? Perfume may be a bit much in terms of cost. Maybe a nice scarf or something less expensive. Or earrings are always appropriate.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Isha, That was great , He sounds like a real friend.

[Rabecca]

Wow, sure took guts to tell him what's really up. I don't think I could tell all to my friends.
I like the way the handled it. Seems like everything want well.

[MissTee]

Great to read of your co-workers acceptance, Isha. Here in the US -- diversity employment laws being what they are -- he took what could be perceived as a great risk approaching you and asking questions. Perhaps that was a part of his initial nervousness. Anyway, what a great outcome. Congrats!

[rocketscientist]

Isha, you should have told him a nice VS giftcard would suffice! LOL. I too have made up my mind that if someone asks me pointblank I will not lie about it. But I seem to be in a strange situation. I think most of my good friends know about it but they don't really want to KNOW about it! Does that make sense? My Halloween costume was the first any of them have ever seen me enfemme and after the costume party about 4 of us went back to one friend's house and we partied the rest of the night as if I was dressed no differently. I dunno. Maybe they think this was a one time costume deal? But i think not. Next Halloween I intend to dress as Sailor Jupiter! That should put the icing on the cake! Soo happy for you Isha that have such great open minded friends that still support you. Hugs, Tonya

[Sarah Smith]

Glad it worked out well and there is someone else supporting you! Great tactic being honest, sometimes it must just shock them that someone can be so upfront and honest with them!
Clara x