Odd reaction

[Jordan]

Kim
Glad to hear that you are working it out with your wife good luck with everything

[kimdl93]

It all depends on a person's form of "Tness"...What is fine for one,doesn't work for another. Over the years,the OP has made comments that alluded toward believing that "her form of Tness" was deeply entrenched in her psyche..If that is the case,then compromises may prove to be unrewarding for her. Interesting to me is how easily people tell others here to compromise without knowing much about them. I would love to hear what a gender savvy relationship councilor has to say after meeting with the couple.

I'm honestly a bit nervous about how the counselor will view my Tness...to use your term. I see myself as a middle pather...but really leaning a bit towards TS. I'm not in anguish, not trapped or anything like that... I like to avoid questions like 'in a perfect world, would you prefer to live as a woman", because the answer is obvious, and it's also obvious that this is something less than a perfect world.

I do not see myself as being driven towards anything....more like I'm gently drawn.

[Laura912]

Based on your last post about where you are going, is there an element of fear in talking to the therapist in that you may state that you are moving towards TS and that will frighten your wife?

[Annaliese]

I think everything she come up with was acceptable and fair, going to the group meeting and the counselor, she is trying. You need to too.

[kimdl93]

Based on your last post about where you are going, is there an element of fear in talking to the therapist in that you may state that you are moving towards TS and that will frighten your wife?

Of course....not great trepidation....but a measure of uncertainty. I have been around long enough to know never to say never.

[Rogina B]

Kim stated in her first post that she told her future wife prior to marriage...So her "Tness" is obviously an important part of her psyche like it is to some of us through out this forum..it isn't just a matter of some clothes..Sometimes people with this "level of T in their psyche" need to stand their ground in order to be happy with themselves.Standing her ground..by having some couple counseling with a gender understanding therapist..

[kimdl93]

It's true that being TG is and has been an important part of who I was 15 years ago and remain today. We all change...grow..as time goes on too. I don't know if I've simply allowed myself to reveal more over the years or have changed in some fundamental way. I have tried to keep my wife apprised of where I'm at and, to the extent I know, where I'm heading.

As an adherent to the Harvard business schools approach to negotiations, I prefer to be on the same side of the table as my wife...looking for common answers to our questions. Of course, I'm human, and,the point of this thread is that, despite my best intentions, I can still be a pig headed, obstinate fool. But those moments pass.