Are any alternative activities to CD effective in reducing dressing?

[ClosetED]

My wife feels I have not tried hard enough to find alternate outlets, so I post this in hopes of asking the largest group of knowledgeable people (my therapist had no data). So what other activities were tried and did any have any impact on reducing (or stopping) the desires to CD and how long did they help?

Things I can say worked:
Falling in love - lasted about 2 years
Alcohol - lasts a few hours
catching a 181 lb blue marlin - lasted a day

Of course, those who found permanent cures would no longer be here to read and post, but others here may have heard of them.
BTW, I finally had the courage to post a profile picture.

[Anna H]

Sure, but it depends on what someones perspective is.

From the viewpoint of persons around me, nothing is unusual at
all. Even though I have hair that's a good 5" past my shoulders,
long nails, and pierced ears.

I'm not dressed as far as they're concerned.

I am fully dressed as far as I'm concerned. Womens jeans, womens
t-shirts, and womens work shoes....(and the rest from view...lol!)

It feels right. I'm happy. Nobody cares or gets upset.

If the need is full on makeup and dresses & heels, then that's different,
obviously, but little things can make a huge difference. And keep
the world at peace with their standards.

Nice picture in your profile! You look Great!

~Kate~ ♥

[Marcelle]

Hi there,

I engage in a lot of activities "en boy" (sport parachuting, MMA, hiking, building computers, reading, spending time with my wife) and I can say one thing. None of them have abated the desire to dress or present "en femme". My wife and I have talked about this often and she agrees that rather than try and make it go away it is best to accept it into our lives.

Hugs

Isha

[Dianne S]

Are any alternative activities to CD effective in reducing dressing?

In my experience, nothing works permanently. Getting married and having more-or-less regular sex was the most effective and only lasted a couple of years.

[cdyoung114]

I haven't found anything either.... I have tons of hobbies which I'm very involved in but nothing gives me the same joy and happiness like dressing does

[MsVal]

If you are looking for a reduction versus an elimination, then I believe evidence is on your side that there is hope, and I have a suggestion.

Let's assume you have a limited amount of time, energy, and money. This describes everyone that I know. Now, anything that consumes a portion of those resources leaves less for the others.

Do you have other interests, perhaps some that your wife would enjoy? My wife and I enjoy traveling and camping. It's a bit tough to do during the winter, but spring is coming and we're looking forward to getting out in the forests again. I also enjoy photography. My wife doesn't care for it, but allows me to spend time and money (gotta have that next gadget) in pursuit of that perfect photo.

I suspect that your wife would endorse using your resources on "normal" things versus crossdressing, and that would be tacit approval for that next "cool" thing, whether it is with her or not. If that cool thing consumes lots of your resources, there will be a lot less for CD, leading to a net reduction.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Jenelle]

For me nothing has stopped the desire to dress completely. There have been long stretches of time where I don't want to dress but (for me) that is just the ebb and flow in life. When I really want to dress, nothing stops or alleviates the desire. I can do things that takes my mind off it but the desire is always there just waiting.

[ClosetED]

My financial resources are significant, so that is not an issue. I do many things with my wife-we bike, we walk the dog in the woods, we garden, we took tennis lessons, we are taking dancing lessons. We are now empty nesters. I just want a few percent of my life to be spent this way - not even 10%. I give all the rest to her, after work. I love my Panasonic GH-2 camera.

[Kate Simmons]

Most other activities are even more expensive and time consuming than dressing and buying clothes. I tried collecting comics and studying herbs and alternative medicine to name a couple. Haven't found any that are as personally satisfying though.

[Tina_gm]

Your wife and perhaps you yourself are wrongly believing that outside activities will bring a cure to the desire to cross dress. That Cding is like an addiction, the more it is done, the more it will be desired to do. The truth is, cross gender expression is just the outward expression of what is internal. progression that is being seen or experienced is due to self acceptance, an internal realization that prior denial did not allow, others acceptance and or modifications to a persons life which allow for a greater amount of cross gender expression. So, there is no "cure" no matter what you do. At best it can delay it or dull it for a short amount of time.

Having said that- there are always going to be times where CDing is not going to happen, not the right time or place, plans change yadda yadda. It is how you can deal with that and not feel consumed by cross gender expression and lead, as much as possible a balanced life that can be accomplished.

So, take time out to do the things you truly enjoy that are not gender dependent. Stuff the masculine side has always enjoyed. Most of all though, do give your wife time with the man she married. None of this will end your desire, make it less frequent, or make it all go away. It may however, allow for a balanced life and will allow you to better enjoy the times when Cding is not happening.

[MsVal]

Aha! That was not obvious in your initial post.

So, if you have ~24 hours of "free" time per weekend, you'd like two to three of those hours to be CD time. Your wife disagrees and believes you aren't trying hard enough to reduce that time.
Ten percent is a pretty small amount to be affected by the solution I proposed. Someone else may have a better idea.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Beverley Sims]

Ed,
You have supplied the answer yourself.
If you keep engaging in other interests dressing will wane for a time.
Especially falling in love.
For those not attached finding a soul mate has the greatest effect.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

In many respects, this thread is one that I could have posted this morning. I have been trying SO HARD to rid myself of this cd curse. I want so much to have better control of my personna. I have refrained from reading this forum and focused on my "manly interests ". Sadly, like Adrianna humorously replied in another thread about a micheal corleone line from " Godfather III " , a paraphrase is "I just keep getting pulled back into this " . I hate this curse that cding has over me. Yes, it is inevitable to simply give into the need , but my life sure would be simpler if cd thoughts never registered.
It is great that you are having this open & candid discussion with your wife. Resign yourselves to the fact that there is no alternative. I wish you , me & everyone afflicted with this curse much peace. Mel

[Karren H]

Try ice hockey.... its amazing... expensive and takes lots of time... I'm playing in two leagues and skating on weekends... and you get to wear girdles.... garter belts and stockings! lol

[Debra Russell]

How can you make reality go away - born this way - been this way - and ain't no substitute - diversion maybe; just have to learn how to balence/juggle to make this part of us complete our lives.........................Debra

[Wildaboutheels]

ENOUGH sex with the right person.

Should at least "help" most here.

At least most under 50ish. [My best guess] after reading thousands of both questions and responses since I joined.

[avant1465]

I read Ken Follett's "Pillars of the Earth"... and it helped quell my desires for the first hour or so. Then, I donned my favorite night shirt and continued..... "Alternative outlets" is like asking someone to figure out what to breath, besides oxygen.....

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi ED, Crossdressing is like the Mafia , You just can't quit.

I have so many hobbys but Dressing is always there.

[LilSissyStevie]

This is easy! Buy a farm. On that farm plant an orchard and a vineyard. Have horses, cattle, poultry, swine and a garden big enough to feed the poor in your community. Decide that nothing can be fixed as good as you can fix it yourself. You'll still have some free time after this so invite a sick, elderly relative to live with you. Have some sick, elderly inlaws, too. Take a class at a college 40 miles from home.
Problem solved!

[bridget thronton]

Playing video games or visiting virtual worlds enfem (by creating a female avatar)

[Adriana Moretti]

how about eating?? eat so much that you cant fit into your clothes anymore...problem solved.

[Katey888]

So the short answer is, no.

Sorry... :

Katey x

[Christen]

Hmm.. know what you talking about. I'm trying to do the same right now. Got caught up in the pink vortex.
For me the desire to crossdress has never 'gone away', but there are times I've had it under better control than others, and there are times it slips into the background rather than being centre stage.
Regular yoga classes seems to help me. Clears my head, calms my mind.
Work on being in the moment, focus on what you are doing, who you are with. I tend to drift off to my little fantasy world far too much.
Watch the alcohol, god knows I need to. It doesn't help.
Get more accepting of your feminine side, you don't have to be a tough guy. You can be a gentleman.
Don't go out, there are girls everywhere
Maybe you just have to set parameters, how often, how many $, etc.

But it doesn't disappear. When I get it to reduce from a clamouring to a white noise, I'm happy.

Christen x

[Lucy Lou]

I have to agree with another post to say, 'no' If it feels good then just go for it.

There is nothing better than dressing in my mind, well maybe a few things but not many. Lucy xoxo

[linda booth]

Inherent in reducing, stopping or purging is the idea that crossdressing is wrong - even sinful. I don't believe that so I just enjoy it.