Self appraisal.

[Melissa18]

This question has probably been asked numerous time before on CD.com but I can't find any previous threads. So, I apologise in advance.

Recently I was at the Pub with a group of male friends, a very attractive woman walks into the bar, and my friends do the usual male thing and all attention turns to the woman and between them the usual male banter started up, commenting on how good she looks, ETC.., except for me, I keep quiet, but I am admiring her dress sense, her hairstyle and her immaculate nails. A week or so later I was invited to a wedding and i noticed myself this time spending more time talking with the ladies than with the men and of course, I was keeping an eye on the dresses, hairstyles etc.

It then got me thinking have I always been like this and I came to the conclusion that my whole life, I've always observed what the girls are wearing, hairstyles etc.
I've never been one to leer at women, It has always been to look, learn and to catch any fashion tips, and I've always had more in common with the women than men, from my earliest school days I have always felt more comfortable with with females.

Basically my question is, are these thoughts and traits quite common amongst us girls?

[Erica Grace]

Hello Adelaide,

I find myself doing the exact same thing, well both really. I can admire a girl for her fashion sense and just REALLY want to know where she got her dress, but I'll also find myself eyeing her body as well (only one of which is ever vocally expressed). Since I have started dressing a year ago I have definitely been paying more attention to the fashion side of women, especially makeup.

[NathalieX66]

Yep. ....... it happens all the time.

[ShelbyDawn]

I find myself in between...
I see a beautiful woman and comment, to myself, "Wow, she's hot and I wonder if that dress comes in my size... "




Shelby

[JessicaMN]

I am always finging myself talking to women at events like that more than the guys. Yet I still don't have a girlfriend. Go figure.

[Chari]

Adelaide, I have always observed and respected the female body, attire, makeup, hair styles, and movements beginning in grade school. During my teen years, through college, and beyond I was told by many gals that I "had a positive & natural flair for fashion", as I helped them select better colors, materials, fashions, and styles that "made them look great! It was not for the accolades or to get dates, but only to assist those that had very little color and fashion knowledge. All that still continues today. Enjoy.

[Sharon B.]

Same here will look at the actual woman after I make note of what she is wearing and wonder where she purchase it at and wonder if I would look as good in it also.

[Eryn]

When I am out in drab and a woman (beautiful or not-so) walks by wearing something interesting or attractive I do take notice. It's not so pleasant a feeling for me to realize that I will only experience that freedom in a limited sense.

[janec]

I find that I am always people watching as I call it and find myself looking at ghe outfits that the women are wearing and wonder what it would feel/ look like to wear.

[Adriana Moretti]

interesting point......and i would have to agree....i do that too ...and I am also more friendly with the gals...

[Felicia Dee]

Ditto. Across the board, ditto. Lol.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Adelaide, If I didn't know better I would've been talking about me.

I always seam to find the women much more interesting to talk to.

[Amanda M]

Just the same. I always feel more comfortable with female company.

[biggirlsarah]

Also I have always found myself to be more comfortable in female company, probably because I don't have much in common with men, I have never been comfortable in male company, I find their so-called macho banter inane I don't know anything about sport so I am unable to get involved in the conversation about the latest football scores etc. So yes count me in, I also think there is a bit of jealousy in there as well.

[noeleena]

Hi,

So that difference , interesting, and this is part of that difference, apart from one miner detail as you all know i can wear many of those clothes and i know my peers tell me i can dress rather lovely and they wont and like me to, yet i still feel a bit out of it, yes even after all this time i still get that embarrassing feeling.

i wont say the clothes we wear or can are not lovely and nice to wear, some one said the lady concerned was ...hot...not being male i'd say she looks lovely so does impress many guys i think your words will or would be more detailed than mine, of cause.....

I have a friend and she is taller than i i know her Mom as well and the husband and thier kid'e and we get on very well now i know you'd say when she is dressed up ...is hot... to me she's just lovely, and she comes along to our Edwardian do's, allmost forgot her husband has a sort after moter bike , any way's,

...noeleena...

[Tami]

I am comfortable in the company of either but certainly find myself checking out clothes and the girl inside them.

[Katey888]

Yes Adelaide, yes...

But I have to confess to a combination of appraisal (as you so rightly describe) and... well... leching rather than leering... I know it's politically incorrect but we're only human - and sometimes masculine will out!

I've always sought the company of women over men - and found it to be quite advantageous in acquiring GFs at various times...

Katey x

[erickka]

I've done the look and learn thing my whole life too.

[Cheryl T]

Are these common to us...you betcha!!
Whenever I'm anywhere I am always tuned to what women are wearing and always asking myself, would that look good on me?

[Beverley Sims]

I have always leered at the womens clothes first.

[carhill2mn]

Yes, I have similar thoughts and feelings. While I have always appreciated feminine beauty, I always check out how she is dressed, her hair, makeup etc. For many years I have enjoyed talking to women more than most men.

[MsVal]

Yes, I can identify with your observations.

I've never been perfectly comfortable in the company of guys. I'm okay with them, I get along well, make some jokes, share some experiences, but I know deep down that I'm not really one of them. I am not at all interested in sports or taking some woman to bed. I do not like the macho attitude or boasting about things I've done, bought, or achieved.

I do have a good time in a group of women. This may be because they know that I am a man and interact accordingly, but the net takeaway is that I enjoy a group of women.

(On my most recent contract I replaced a woman in a six woman office. It was great. We talked about families, birthdays, weddings, graduations, recipes - I was accepted as one of the gals in "Chick Central".)

Guys clothing, in my opinion is Boring with a capital B. Women's stuff, however is colorful, it is sensual, it flows. Their fragrances, mannerisms, the way they talk is fascinating to me.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Laura912]

Watch and learn. In my youth, there was a close race between testosterone effects and estrogen effects! Being more comfortable with women may also explain my career selection.

[ReineD]

Adelaide and others who feel the same way, I've read many posts/threads that agree with you over the years. And I was always perplexed by the idea that CDers aren't as visually sexually attracted to women as non-CDers. Other guys are genuinely turned on by sexy women whereas it seems that a significant number of CDers are much less so, since they seem to notice and care more about the clothes, makeup, etc. In other words, there is a decreased sense of sexual attraction towards women compared to non-CDers?

When you add to this the well attended treads about having sexual thoughts about men (even if they are not acted upon), do you think that CDers are subconsciously perhaps, sexually attracted to men more than women? Or if they aren't, then might they lean more toward being asexual? Or maybe more attracted to the self as a woman? I know that everyone is individual and there can be no answer that puts everyone in the same box. But, in threads like these everyone seems to agree almost without exception.

We keep saying here that feelings of gender identity (or feelings allied to the female gender) are completely separate from a person's sexual orientation. But when I read so many people agreeing with the lack of unadulterated sexual attraction that other men feel, I wonder if this is true?

Thanks for taking the time to explore this topic in greater depth than just agreeing yes or no to the OP's post. I know this is something that perplexes many other GGs as well, and it might explain why so many GGs ask CDers if they are gay and if they want to be women.

[Jenniferathome]

Reine, allow me to be the dissenter. I'm a guy first and while maturity has allowed me to not go slack-jawed when I see a beautiful woman, I SEE the woman, not her clothes. I think the typical posters here are forgetting their first reaction since they have been this way from the time they noticed girls as a kid. Now, It may be possible that with massive loss of testosterone in older men, asexuality becomes more common, but I find it hard to believe the majority are actually that way.