the purpose of posting this message today is to speak to the many others on this forum who were in my situation (a closet CDer who is happily married) --- so that it might provide some 'hope' for you.

i've posted on here before, but dont come on much. i'm 42 years old and have been CD'ing since i was maybe 10 years old, all while keeping it a very tight secret.

last August, i ended up telling my wife of 14 years. while the initial shock was quite concerning, she has become more and more supportive and we have maybe the closest relationship we have ever had. why?

- constant, open communication (lots of talks on this subject)
- therapy. we have a therapist who we speak openly to on this subject and has been helpful --- especially for my wife to hear from her that CDing happens more than people know and its not as abnormal as everyone thinks
- some ground rules we are still defining (e.g. i tell her whenever i dress, we talk about it after (which i actually enjoy), i dont wear her clothes (which i must confess that i used to and she knows this)
- the support here. i did post on here back in August when this happened and the friends here have been so helpful and supportive. thanks all!!!!!!

its been wonderful and i feel very lucky.

two things that happened recently that i wanted to share:

1. her and my son went on wknd trip recently. i was left alone with my other son who was on a sleepover. so she knew i would be alone one night and i had told her i would prob use this opportunity to dress. she texted me when they arrived at their location and told me she left me a little bag of goodies. i thought it was maybe a card and some new workout gear (which we've been into recently). it wasnt. it was a make-up bag filled with all this eye shadow, mascara, lip stick, etc. i was floored. what a happy feeling

2. the other day we were discussing how bad i am at applying make up. and how i go about taking it off. her and our therapist (a woman) were telling me all about these Neutrogena make up wipe removers. so i walk into our bathroom the other day and there they are. a brand new box of these wipe things. i have yet to try them. has to be better than what i was doing. i need so much practice

just wanted to share that -- especially for the people on here who were in my situation. maybe you should think more about telling her. you never know.

thanks for listening

sincerely,
kelly