Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 28

Thread: Supportive Wives -- so lucky

  1. #1
    Member kelly0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    126

    Supportive Wives -- so lucky

    the purpose of posting this message today is to speak to the many others on this forum who were in my situation (a closet CDer who is happily married) --- so that it might provide some 'hope' for you.

    i've posted on here before, but dont come on much. i'm 42 years old and have been CD'ing since i was maybe 10 years old, all while keeping it a very tight secret.

    last August, i ended up telling my wife of 14 years. while the initial shock was quite concerning, she has become more and more supportive and we have maybe the closest relationship we have ever had. why?

    - constant, open communication (lots of talks on this subject)
    - therapy. we have a therapist who we speak openly to on this subject and has been helpful --- especially for my wife to hear from her that CDing happens more than people know and its not as abnormal as everyone thinks
    - some ground rules we are still defining (e.g. i tell her whenever i dress, we talk about it after (which i actually enjoy), i dont wear her clothes (which i must confess that i used to and she knows this)
    - the support here. i did post on here back in August when this happened and the friends here have been so helpful and supportive. thanks all!!!!!!

    its been wonderful and i feel very lucky.

    two things that happened recently that i wanted to share:

    1. her and my son went on wknd trip recently. i was left alone with my other son who was on a sleepover. so she knew i would be alone one night and i had told her i would prob use this opportunity to dress. she texted me when they arrived at their location and told me she left me a little bag of goodies. i thought it was maybe a card and some new workout gear (which we've been into recently). it wasnt. it was a make-up bag filled with all this eye shadow, mascara, lip stick, etc. i was floored. what a happy feeling

    2. the other day we were discussing how bad i am at applying make up. and how i go about taking it off. her and our therapist (a woman) were telling me all about these Neutrogena make up wipe removers. so i walk into our bathroom the other day and there they are. a brand new box of these wipe things. i have yet to try them. has to be better than what i was doing. i need so much practice

    just wanted to share that -- especially for the people on here who were in my situation. maybe you should think more about telling her. you never know.

    thanks for listening

    sincerely,
    kelly

  2. #2
    New Member Emily43's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    U.K
    Posts
    24
    Your very lucky keep a tight hold of that woman!

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    NW Washington
    Posts
    148
    So very lucky, it would be great.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    Posts
    43,866
    Hi Kelly, You are so lucky to have such a great wife.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  5. #5
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,377
    Good for you, Kelly! I love your approach.

    You seem well grounded about this, and not full of silly ideas about how you think your wife is feeling or thinking.
    Reine

  6. #6
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    24
    It's an awesome feeling to be able to be honest about this our wives isn't ?

  7. #7
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,082
    Hi Kelly,
    Something must hit us in our forties so many including me have come out when we hit that age ! I had a couple of therapy sessions but my wife refused to attend, he refused to continue unless she cooperated so I stopped going. I worry about open dialogue because I would be the one to want to talk and I don't want to feel I'm treating her like a punch bag. I hope the kind gestures continue they were a nice surprise, I made a comment about something special at Xmas, she didn't say no, so I might be getting there.

  8. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    410
    My wife is very supportive too. She has bought me nail polish and we go shopping together. though not as often as I would like. She has asked me why I don't dress more at home in front of her. I guess I'm still embarrassed. But, she's wonderful.

    Gwendolyn

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Posts
    30,955
    Kelly,
    My wife knows and I get tacit support.
    Others are not so fortunate of course and for some it would end their marriage.
    All we can do is help others with advice and consolation.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  10. #10
    Member kelly0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    126
    thanks for all the kinds words and support. it is so nice to read.

    Gwinnie - i'm with you there. i dont dress at all in front of her and, at least right now, cannot imagine that. would be very embarassing and would worry about how that might affect relationship / intimacy. thats a ways off if we ever get there

    teresa - good luck there. both with therapy if you eventually go back (with your Wife). personally, it has def. helped us. but it cant be just that. my wife and i talk about my CDing outside of therapy. i hope that continues. i dont forget that this is all pretty new -- 6 months in

    Reine -- thank you!!!!! (smiles)

    sincerely,
    kelly

  11. #11
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    47
    Today my wife was out shopping with our daughter and bough me a beatiful pair of hoop earrings. I haven't been dressing much lately thinking I didn't want to cause her any stress since she has gone through much pain with her family. It was just so wonderful that she thought of me as Terri Lynn. I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful wife.

  12. #12
    Senior Member MissTee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Deep South
    Posts
    1,504
    My wife is very supportive and you are right about it creating a bond that strengthens the relationship. That, of course, is if the boundaries are mutually agreed upon and upheld. Fortunately for us, we want the same boundaries so there's never and argument.

    Glad you are finding peace and fulfillment.

  13. #13
    Junior Member KC Samanatha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Topeka, Kansas
    Posts
    72
    Kelly, just being able to share and talk with your spouse and be totally open.

  14. #14
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    12,387
    Kelly, thank you for posting this. So often we hear the horror stories about failing relationships. I think that it is important for everyone to understand that relationships don't have to fail and can even be enriched if a little tolerance is shown by both partners toward each other.

    I'm also lucky to have a supportive wife and a similar story to yours, minus the therapy. My spouse and I lead a life different than it was before I came to terms with myself and we had "the talk." In many ways, it is better than it was.
    Last edited by Eryn; 03-22-2014 at 08:05 PM. Reason: spelling
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  15. #15
    Senior Member Amanda M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    We're in Andalucia, Spain
    Posts
    1,068
    Really happy for you both, Kelly.
    If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!

  16. #16
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    6,335
    Kelly, I think it is important to add that "support" does not mean a wife buying you things. Support is simply the ability for a wife to recognize that cross dressing is part of you and accepting you despite that oddity. Anything more is simply icing.

  17. #17
    Gone to live my life
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    6,552
    Hi Kelly . . . great story and thanks for sharing. You have a great lady there.

    Hugs

    Isha

  18. #18
    Gold Member ~Joanne~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Lost
    Posts
    6,018
    Quote Originally Posted by Eryn View Post
    So often we hear the horror stories about failing relationships.
    I think a lot of the time, the relationship was failing to begin with, but we are too stubborn to admit it or they were. Throw the CDing into the mix and one of the two parties will latch onto this as "The Reason" one of them left the relationship. most of the time it becomes the main reason when it truly wasn't.
    Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!

  19. #19
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    A bit south of the 49th!
    Posts
    23,702
    Very good to hear. It sounds as if the therapist helped a great deal. We sometimes hear disparaging remarks about the value and effectiveness of therapy, but I think they can be tremendously helpful if they are well informed and supportive of transgendered people. They can share objective information and help guide communications...two things often lacking in relationships.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  20. #20
    Senior Member MsVal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    near Detroit, Michigan
    Posts
    1,329
    In a marriage, a good one anyhow, there is an acceptance that at any time one will need support from the other. We often hear of instances where one member is caring for one who is ill, supporting one that is pursuing a degree, starting a business, etc. When asked why, the answer is essentially "It's just what you do when someone you love needs support."

    Your wife has a good grasp of that Kelly. I'm sure you already know that and now, we do too.

    Congratulations, and thanks for posting that uplifting story.

    Best wishes
    MsVal

  21. #21
    New Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    28
    You are so very lucky. Enjoy

  22. #22
    Who doesnt love boots!
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    51
    I have been using the Neutrogena wipes for quite a while now. They are amazing. Congrats on having such an amazing wife!
    - Jessica

  23. #23
    New Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    11
    Great story and thanks for sharing in such detail. S x.

  24. #24
    Silver Member ClosetED's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,028
    You are lucky. My wife has gone warm to frigid back to tepid. So there is progress. Therapy for both helped and that led to more communication she had refused to do. Trust is very important as well as her needs

  25. #25
    Junior Member Amanda Roberts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Greenville SC
    Posts
    32
    Kelly, that sounds great. Your wife seems very supportive and accepting; I can only imagine how great that is. Her even getting you the little makeup presents is so sweet! Hang onto that one girl!

    I haven't told my own SO yet but plan to in the next week to week and a half. I'm going to tell her straight up how it is -- that Amanda is a side of me I just recently rediscovered by accident after years of half-subconsciously not making that rediscovery. I'll write up more later when I have a good idea of how I'm going to say it.

    Congrats again girl for taking that big step! I'm happy for you that it worked out so well

    xoxo

    ~Amanda

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State