"Do you feel vulnerable when you are out?"

[Jenniferathome]

This is what my wife asked me before I left on a business trip. So I replied with, "Do you mean like getting beaten up?" She went on to explain that when she is out, she is always on the lookout, head on a swivel, so to speak, looking for possible trouble. She tries to project an image of confidence and strength so that she will not be bothered. After a brief thought, I realized I feel no different when I am dressed than when in guy mode. Of course, I'm not going to run someone down in heels and a dress but if bothered, the assailant would be quite surprised at the ferocity of my defense.

It's really kind of sad, that I can walk with impunity and my wife has to worry. As a father of two girls, I am always worried for them.

Maybe this explains all the midnight walks in deserted parks and streets that are posted here? We're guys and the rules of women alone don't apply, regardless of our state of dress.

[PaulaQ]

Unfortunately, those rules do apply. I know trans women who've been raped. You may be capable of self-defense against another man, but against several? Or against someone with a weapon?

You only think you have impunity. My friends did as well. They are both lucky to be alive, although one of them is pretty screwed up.

It's a lot more likely for you than your wife and daughters, that if you are targeted, the attack will result in your death.

[ArleneRaquel]

About 4 years ago I did feel vulnerable, then it faded away. But in recents weeks my fears have risen, no real reason for it, but I am very skittish about going outdoors enfemme after dark.

[Annaliese]

Like you, I worry about my daughter and granddaughter's.

[Erica Marie]

All I can say is no matter who you are or where you are now a days, things can happen. I think a cd may be in for more trouble if figured out. An assailant may reap worse on you after finding you are a guy, kind if an act of hate. Either way be careful, keep alert and always have a plan of escape. Plus if you have a purse some pepper spray or anything else your state may allow could be helpful in a worse case scenario.

[PaulaQ]

An assailant may reap worse on you after finding you are a guy, kind if an act of hate.

That's precisely what happens. You generally get raped anyway - and if you are lucky, only beaten within an inch of your life, rather than murdered outright.

[Candice Mae]

being 26 and just over a 130 pounds, I avoid all dark corners and streets.

[Michelle V]

I wish I had a comment to make on the subject but as an indoor CD I got nothing...except; great topic. Can't wait to hear what people have to say and be able to apply it to myself if I gather the courage to go out.
Also, the comment you make about a father's concern for a daughter is very touching. Comments like those give your personality a lot of dimension which always helps the rest of us in this forum get a better idea of who you are.

[Lorileah]

I have been in areas where I did feel vulnerable. A year ago I was invincible. Then I dated a guy in law enforcement. He made me aware that I needed to be alert and ready, no matter who I was

[Talisker]

I did end up once in the middle of town alone after midnight on a saturday.
A few double takes from a couple of GGs but most men were too drunk to see straight. Overall it was full of adrenalin and scary as hell.
An experience to be remembered but not repeated unless in a group.
If you come across a gang of drunk horny men you could be fracked.

Public shopping is safer. Not seen any groups of young drunk men in victorias secret.

[carhill2mn]

If one is presenting as a woman it only makes sense to be aware of your surroundings much like a woman would do. Certainly, I feel more vulnerable when wearing a skirt, nylons and maybe heels.

[Persephone]

Jennifer,

You raise an interesting topic. I want to share my point of view but I want you to be aware that this topic, and a lot of typical "I can handle myself" response, comes up from time to time, so please forgive me for what I am about to say, it is not directed at you but rather at a broad swath of posters here.

My view is very simple. If you respond to female vulnerability with macho expectations then you are merely being John Wayne in a dress.

[RANT OFF]

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Like any woman, or really any person, you always need to be aware of your surroundings and don't put yourself in a vulnerable situation. There are places I will not go dressed as jenny that I would think nothing of as my male self.... but then again, that is the difference. Also you need to look at the time of day, like don't go to Central Park after Dark. Think ahead and be safe to all of you.

[Chardonnay Merlot]

I would feel pretty much the same in boy mode...Remember we have police officers and some private citizens who feels in open season on me...because of a much more glaring feature than my bodycon dress.

[Nadine Spirit]

I have always felt vulnerable. The description of your wife is exactly how I have always felt. Funny that you bring this up as it was something we discussed in Santa Monica and I had not had the chance to contemplate it long enough. But yeah, I have always felt rather on edge while out in public, regardless of how I am dressed. Dressing does not change how I feel. I don't feel more vulnerable while dressed as a girl. I have always put it up to common sense, but maybe it is just because I have always felt like a rather small guy compared to most. But I do feel that regardless of who one thinks they are, or how well one thinks they can defend themselves, I think there are always going to be some situations that you can not defend against.

[kimdl93]

I grew up in a very rural area so it really doesn't matter whether I'm en femme or drab...I always have my radar up. And I make it a point to avoid most places where trouble is even marginally likely to happen.

[MissTee]

I am a big dude. Power lifter into my 30's. Military spec Ops for 25 years. Told I'm still "scary." Been in my share of fights and can unequivocally say anyone can be outnumbered and/or out gunned regardless of size.

I don't go out en femme, but assault is not just an en femme thing. Everyone should be aware of their surroundings and the environment around them lest they become a statistic.

Just say'n . . .

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenn, You just never know in this crazy world.

[Paulette]

Having been in law enforcement as a male I do not fear much, however when dressed I am much more aware of my surroundings. First you very seldom see single women of any age walking the street alone at night. Second my whole mindset is female while dressed, trying to walk and act female and thus give off the female vibe to anyone passing by me. Yes I feel vulnerable but not enough to stay indoors. I do try to do as most GG's do have a girl friend to out with, not only is it more fun but it way safer.

[Kate Simmons]

Not generally. I'm empathic, so I can read people's feelings and intentions. Even so, I make sure I have enough friends around to back me up if necessary.

[Adriana Moretti]

some grim thoughts going on in here.....if you are smart and PLAN your outtings well ( parking, streets, exits,bathrooms etc) 99% of the time you will have no issues. There is also strength in numbers...so alone...yea I could def feel a bit nervous I try to do that as little as possible. ..but for me.. as soon as I turned 18 I moved to NYC (Manhattan..then Brooklyn)...i can go ghetto anytime. .the dangerous time out in public though no matter WHERE you are is as the bars are closing or the 2 am late night munchie spot on the weekends...they are dangerous no matter what you are wearing...in fact I avoid this time and places like the plaque.

[Connie.Marie]

Yes, when I'm dressed & out, I feel very vulnerable. Probably more because I don't want to be "exposed", as opposed to believing I would be attacked. I'm not a flashy (or fleshy :-) ) dresser, trying to blend in. But I would say that I'm less careful than gg's about walking alone at night but I'm more careful than when I am en homme. And Paulette's right, it's more fun to be with others.

[Felicia Dee]

I've been a city kid my whole life and as such have been in more scraps than I can count. The truth is, anyone could experience some type of violence at anyplace, at anytime. But if I spent my life being afraid of "what if," I wouldn't have much of a life, now would I? Instead, I live one day at a time and if I encounter violence, I will do my best to make it through as best as I can and let the chips fall where they may.

That said, I tend to go out in groups. There is safety in numbers. BUT -- if I do decide to fly solo, I'd stick to well lit areas with lots of people in an area that I have previously vetted. Because, to quote G.I. Joe; "Knowing is half the battle."

Be safe ladies. *hugs*

[Jenniferathome]

... my whole mindset is female while dressed, trying to walk and act female and thus give off the female vibe to anyone passing by me. ...

I think this captures a subtle difference for me. Paulette, what you describe is a visual thing, not an "in your head" thing. I try to do what I can to look appropriate as well, but in my head, I'm a dude. Naturally I take some care as I would as a dude, but no more care taken when I am dressed.

[Lynn Marie]

I've always managed to pick my venues whether dressed or not. I just pick them a little more carefully enfemme. I cultivate CD girlfriends which also tilts the balance of power in my favor. Nevertheless, I'm always careful. No macho BS for me...