Agree, always exercise common sense and try to avoid situations you would no feel comfortable entering. Just like a GG, we women need to be aware because some men feel it is their right to impose themselves on us. As mom always said, " smile and walk away, quickly".
I always feel more vulnerable when "dressed." Even driving, I obey the speed limit and am careful not to agitate anyone. I do not go out to parks or other places like that late at night. The safest thing to do if you are going out enfemme, go to a very public place during normal business hours. if your convidence level is low, go toward the end of the day, when people volume is less or go on a Sunday.
I'm not sure vulnerable is exactly the right word, but I guess it will do. There are places that I go as a male that I would never consider going in female mode. As a male, I go on lone hikes in the woods. I would never do that as a female. I don't go walking alone at night as a female. In male mode, I wouldn't think twice about it. I don't think of it as feeling vulnerable. It's more just using common sense. As a male, I feel I can bluff my way out of potentially dangerous situations. As a female, I don't have anything to bluff with.
Alright, something I have to stick in here because it's very apparent that a lot of macho guys simply believe that they can fight off any attack. You're wrong. Period. Because if someone really wants to hurt you, and they're smart, you're not going to see it coming. And there's NO defense against a surprise attack. It only takes ONE good hit to your head, and you're done. Please keep that in mind.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
This is an interesting thread for me. Most of these comments can apply to us in guy mode as well. You really have to be alert and careful no matter where you go these days in either mode.
I feel much more vulnerable in girl mode.
First, at least at night and from a distance, I could be mistaken for a girl.
Second, upon getting closer, I would appear as a man in a dress, and I feel men would be more likely to hate and attack a man in a dress than a GG.
Third, I'm not much of a fighter even in male mode, and I don't think I've been in a fight in over 40 years, so I'm out of practice.
Fouth, whatever defense I could muster would be mitigated by heels, binding compression underwear, and just about everything else girly I'm wearing.
In my opinion, however good your defensive posture may be, if you get in a fight you've already lost.
I've stopped my natural WTF response to agressive drivers even in male mode, because I'm concerned thay may be better armed than I am, after reading about some local incidents.
Last edited by Katey888; 05-30-2014 at 03:33 PM. Reason: Content not permitted in forum rules/Rights of Content
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
Yes, for some reason I do feel more vounrable when out as a woman. Whether I pass or don't. ..
Best to stay away from dodgy areas and try to not go out alone.
Last edited by Katey888; 05-30-2014 at 03:34 PM. Reason: Content not permitted in forum rules/Rights of Content
I felt very vulnerable a few months ago as I had left a bar and stupidly not dug my car keys out of my purse and I had to stand there in my platform heels and dig for them for what seemed an eternity.
I should probably feel vulnerable in male mode too as I'm on the small side and getting to be an old man day by day. I used to have a small motorcycle and for some reason I felt very vulnerable riding it so I sold it after a few years.
So it seems wise for all of us to follow your wife's advice and be careful.
I enjoy being a boy, being a GIRL like me!!!
Just when i was getting the confidence to go out dressed, this thread happened.
I would feel pretty vulnerable if i went out just imo
Yes, I do feel more vulnerable when I'm out in public crossdressed. And it doesn't matter what the situation is. I'm over 6' tall, weigh too much, and don't try to fool myself into believing that I pass. The type of vulnerability changes from place to place and time of day or night and it's always a little higher than when I'm dressed as a man. So what do I do? I try to limit my exposure to situations that could be dangerous or embarrasing. I don't spend very much time out in my own town, not because I'm afraid of the danger but because I'm not out to family and friends and would prefer to divulge that information on my schedule, not through a police report or hospital stay. If it's late I get my keys out of my purse before I get to the car. I try my best to avoid groups that make me feel uncomfortable. If I'm in a place and attracting too much, or the wrong kind of attention, I leave. There are other common safety practices, like being in a group, that we all know and I attempt to follow.
So does that mean I can't go out at all? Not at all. I'm willing to accept the limits I place on myself and then do my very best to enjoy the time I have. And even with those limits, I do enjoy my time out making it worth while.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
Speaking as someone who go beaten up when I was 26 just for being gay I can tell you that the experience made me weary about going out even though what happened, happened to me at night, I was walking home from the cinema on my own and some guys started picking on me, calling all the names under the sun to do with my sexuality and the fact I was wearing a pink t shirt and womans skinny jeans and resulted in be being jumped and laid into, needles to say after that it scared me and knocked me about a bit for a while, I don't go out at night now with out my bf "at his request" he's a well built up massive guy and don't take no messing around where I'm concerned as he's very protective of me after that, I avoid going any where now where I know there will be a load of people looking for a fight this applies to even the day time, because I dress girly all the time I can draw the wrong kind attention at times, thankfully that kind of attention is very few and far between now to how it was in the early days, so yes I feel very vulnerable
Last edited by CrossJess; 05-30-2014 at 06:56 PM.
As I haven't been out dressed since my teens (that will change soon enough), looking back on it, I felt vulnerable only once. Got some weird stares at a Dennys one night with my then-girlfriend. We were seventeen, and I weighed around 120lbs. soaking wet, and wasn't much of a fighter, especially dressed like that.
I plan on using common sense, and have read a lot of great advice in this thread!
My early years out were daylight or with large groups of girls. My first revelation was after testifying on Beacon Hill in Boston. We all came and left on our own. I spent all day there and when I finally was done it was almost 10pm! I walked outside, by myself, and was suddenly aware that it was dark and I had to walk 1/4 mile across Boston Common. It was a first for me. I actually calculated how fast I could fling off my slingbacks and run! If I had been in guy mode I would have hardly given it all a second thought. It was an uneventful walk to the car but it definitely made me appreciate what a genetic female goes thru on a daily basis. I am much more aware of my vulnerability now and try to plan ways to minimize my exposure. Just one more joy of being a woman......at least part time.
I feel vulnerable even if I'm on the deck in my own backyard!
I have only been out a few times so have not had the chance to get used to being out. It hit me once how vulnerable I felt with my private parts just under my dress...just there so close to the world.
^.^
While I have a good sense of street smarts and such, which I put to good use in downtown Minneapolis last year,
I generally comport myself with a mix of outward confidence ... I am a woman who deserves to be where I am
every bit as much as anyone else, with an upgraded sense of security awareness ... I am a woman, and I could
get attacked. I think that is the best way to go.
Amy M. Jackson
Yes I am always more careful in femme mode. I check my surooundings before I get out of the car, Keep keysnin hand and pepper spray in purse.
I feel more vunerable , after reading this thread !!!
I think I can smell trouble , very quickly , and act accordingly
I need to , I'm not physically able to defend myself
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