Discouraging people from turning a fantasy into a distopian reality is anything but patronizing and in fact quite necessary. That is what all the gate keeping is about. Encouraging people to "explore" gender with a view to transition when in fact they have never until their 40s or 50s had a thought that they could be anything other than a man is downright cruel. Transitioning driven by fantasy is a real problem. But I don't think you would disagree......