They don't exist. Never have. Never will. It's one of the biggest straw(wo)men out there.Originally Posted by whowhatwhen
(By the way, you're still stuck in your dyslexia thread.)
They don't exist. Never have. Never will. It's one of the biggest straw(wo)men out there.
(By the way, you're still stuck in your dyslexia thread.)
Lea
Perhaps this will ease some of your confusion: I'm not a girl and have never believed, nor claimed, myself to be one. I only long, desire, dream to be one.
A previous thread of mine inquired whether there is a difference between those who believe they're women inside and those who deeply desire it. Some argued there is a big difference (I believe you fell into that category) whereas others augured there is no difference.
I'm inclined to agree that there is a difference but perhaps it's not really important as the paths and destination in transition are, mostly, the same. On the other hand I feel that our intentions for pursuing transition hold greater importance and should be scrutinized. Perhaps a large part of regret comes from those who intentions were not adequately met (ie: fetishist perhaps).
So, no, currently I am not a girl nor do I go out dressed as one. I've done so in the past and it made me incredibly happy, but not again, not yet until I'm ready to tell the world this is who and what I truly am.
Having said all this, maybe I really am a girl inside and only believe I'm not as a result of being raised 32 years as a boy and taught that exploring femininity is wrong.
In my opinion,"social transitioning" is a huge part of "checking your course". It is a lifelong test that can be started right away...on your own.
It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !
So everything is relative and the moon is made of cheese? My only point is that if you feel the way you do why even try hormones, they might just really confuse the whole thing. Being who you are is not relative, it is what it is, the rest is just dreams.
"Never forget the many ways there are to be human" (The Transsexual Taboo)
Why not try hormones? Why not explore the many ways there are to be human?
Dreamer,
I understand where you're coming from. I had a lot of guilt about accepting anything feminine. As MTF TS's, we face two major obstacles of self-acceptance. First, we have trouble accepting that we're really girls after being raised as boys, because we're taught that men are superior to women and that it's wrong for a man to accept anything feminine, especially wanting to be a girl. Second, being trans in itself is stigmatized. So we're double screwed by both identifying as female and as trans.
I feel like childhood dysphoria feelings are extremely important to understanding ourselves. My therapist is helping me with understanding the differences between being a "failure as a man" vs being a transsexual. She's helping me to understand that while I have had difficulty being a man it's because of underlying dysphoria that has existed since I was a little kid. A "failure as a man" might be sensitive and delicate and have trouble being a man but they typically lack any childhood feelings of feeling like their really girls or wanting to be girls. They might sometimes think the grass is greener on the other side as adults, since being a man who needs to express anything feminine is stigmatized. But there's a fine difference and my therapist is helping me to understand that.
Would being just a cross-dresser or a failure as a man be the easier softer way? Yes, absolutely. But it's becoming clear to me that I just feel better about myself when I'm dressed as a girl, whether i go in or out. I plan to go out more often and gain more experience interacting with the real world as a girl. I find I feel great when I'm dressed as a girl, and that I feel like crap when I'm dressed as a guy. And it's not stress at work. I feel like crap on the weekends when I'm running errands or home alone and able to do whatever I want if I'm dressed as a guy. If I'm dressed as a girl I feel great and I can go out and socialize, participate on the forum, do chores around the house, and do things like watch TV shows that used to interest me that I seemingly lost interest in, but when I'm dressed as a girl I can happily watch my favorite TV shows. When I'm dressed as a guy, unless I'm really focused at work or at an AA meeting, I just can't stop thinking about anything, including gender, and sometimes I just get lost in static background noise. I'm finding I'm way happier when dressed as a girl, and that my overthinking goes away.
I agree that requiring RLE for six months before starting HRT is ridiculous.
1. It can be difficult to pass in all situations when you're presenting full-time as female with a male body.
2. It requires you to come out to everyone, including work, before you even start HRT and decide if you're going to transition. What happens if after 6 months of RLE you decide transition isn't for you or are denied HRT, and now the whole world knows you're trans. Your parents, wife, kids, friends, co-workers, neighbors. Everyone knows your secret and now your turning back. The one thing that is completely irreversible is coming out. Once you've come out there's no going back. Even if you don't transition people will never view you as a man ever again. That can be very humiliating.
I'm all for the approach of a gradual transition where you start going out as a woman in support groups, then on your own, start hair removal, then slowly come out to friends, start HRT for a few months, then come out to work. Even though you might not experience womanhood in every single circumstance in life, you're getting enough of it to decide after 8 months of partial living and 4 months of HRT whether or not transition is right for you before you have to come out to everybody including work.
I'm actually for allowing any necessary protocol, because the cruel truth is I've seen people whose GD was so bad that they could not bare to spend another moment as a male, had to go full-time and start HRT immediately. Although I like the gradual approach the best, and I've seen it work succesfully in many TSes on this forum and in my support group, I believe we should allow whatever is necessary to alleviate the GD.
Most of these failed transitions are caused by society's sigma. Feeling guilty for hurting family, or being victims of prejudice or being poor. A few might be fetishists or overemphasis on SRS over FFS and social transition. Charles Kane was a rarity. He was a rich man who suffered a setback and essentially bribed the medical community to let him to transition. Given the gatekeeping that's out there, I doubt very many non TSes, whether they're alpha males, failures as men, fetishists, etc, are allowed to transition in the first place. I think most failed transitions are due to society's stigma and self-acceptance.
Dreamer, it's perfectly normal to have lots of doubts about being trans. I've had lots of doubts all my life. I didn't even know what was causing these feelings I've had all my life until recently. Even though my own intuition tells me I'm really a girl on the inside, I've had every reason to fight it. I've faced lots of guilt from my parents and they don't even know, but they always tell me that their biased towards boys. How in the hell can I accept myself as a girl if my parents keep reminding me that they prefer boys to girls. My brother is a sexist. My father is sexist. My mom had a bad experience with her sisters growing up and a good experience with her brothers so she has a mis-perception that men are inherently good and that women are inherently evil, all because of a few bad seeds, especially one who was rotten to the core. My mom is nothing at all like her sisters, and neither was my grandma. I have female relatives on my dad's side that are nothing like my mom's sisters. They're all decent, sweet women and human beings. My mom's three sisters are bad apples. I'm finding I very much take after my mom.
Dreamer, it's perfectly okay to doubt yourself and question who you are. All of us do. I would be concerned if you were not having doubts. That's how Charles Kane ended up transitioning and failing. He had no doubts. He just one day said that he's a TS and needs to transition. I guess he was wrong. And the rest of us who question ourselves are right.
Dreamer, I will quote Angela. It's okay to be a girl. Thank you Angela, and thank you to your therapist for saying those words.
Feel free to PM me
Michelle
I've finally mastered the art of making salads. My favorite is a delicious Mediterranean salad.
If you think hormones will make you feel like a woman or that it will help you integrate as a female. You will be severely disappointed. Hormones are powerful chemical agents that are at the core of our chemical presence. They really should not be introduced until after extensive self-exploration. Wanting to go out dressed and feeling happy while dressed is not enough to warrant hormones. You can do all the dressing and interaction you desire without them. Are you ready to be chemically castrated and lose sexual function of your penis? Your flippant attitude about wanting hormone therapy is disturbing. Transition is a serious brutal process that can take its toll in many ways unless one is prepared to deal with the consequences.
There are huge differences between identity and wishing for an identity. You can not wish or will an identity. Those that think they need to will surely be disappointed. But hey look on the bright side. After you go through the process of hormone ingestion, continue on with surgical procedures and come to the conclusion it was all just a fantasy. You can write a book and hit the media trail and make lots of money decrying how the system let you down and transition is a ruse to be avoided in all cases/
Do you really think it's any less difficult to integrate as a woman with male features after 18 months of hormones. Hormones do have some impact on physical attributes, but not nearly as much as you may think. Unless you have gobs of cash to throw at transition, or be genetically gifted, be forewarned and prepared it will be a difficult road if you think you will magically blend in and "pass".
Last edited by stefan37; 04-01-2014 at 09:33 PM.
"When failure is off the table the only thing left is to negotiate levels of success" M Hobbes
"Never Let your Fear Decide Your Fate" Awolnation
"A new dawn destroys the tranquility of the darkness" Steph W
Um, right here?
I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back keep me here to wait for me so I don't go back out and miss myself when I return.
This claim was never made, not by myself that is. Though I would like to note that it was an underlying theme on the site posted in the OP. Regret was expressed over not actually being transformed into a woman regardless of the amount of hormones or surgeries you have. Genetically speaking you are and will always be male. Well, no kidding! To think otherwise is completely delusional. I am merely stating that I, personally, would much prefer to be on HRT for a while before I go prancing around to the world claiming to be a woman. Why is this so difficult to comprehend? Where is this transsexual bible that explicitly states the order in which one must transition?
I love how people on this site comment in one place how powerful and dangerous hormones are and then in other places people comment on how you shouldn't expect much from hormones at all. I'm not directing this at you, Stefan37, just stating a general observation.
A flippant attitude??? I'm trying very hard to not take offence to to a comment made on the internet by an unknown username. I'd like to assure you in the sincerest way I can online that there is nothing flippant about my attitude. I have come to these decisions, reluctantly, after:
- living with and being tormented by GD my whole life and suppressing it because the world has taught me that crossdressers and transsexuals are freaks and abominations. I'm a man so man-up, dammit! Girls can do anything boys can do but the universe doesn't allow things to go the other way around.
- spending countless hours reading through medical papers, books and blogs desperately searching for answers and cures to what I consider a disorder, an ailment. I once shared with my therapist that I'd rather have cancer than this.
- spending god knows how much time on youtube watching various trans narratives, pro and anti-trans presentations.
- spending a couple thousand dollars (so far!) on therapy for a condition I don't want. This money should be going elsewhere like investing, furthering my education, buying a house/condo, buying a car...living a REAL, NORMAL life!
- weighing the pros and cons of transitioning and how they will impact not just my life but the lives of those around me.
- considering my personal safety and how I'll be facing a higher chance of violence and prejudice.
- listening to several members on this forum telling me to stop fighting and to listen to my heart. This last one really pisses me off. If I had simply listened to my heart and pursued transition without any research then that, most certainly, would be flippant. But perhaps you've noticed that the vast majority of my threads are posing serious questions, expressing deep pain and struggles, looking for help rather than saying stuff along the lines of "so like, last night I found a thong and had the best 2 minutes of masterbation in my life! I immediately ordered hormones from the first site I found online because I think I should be a woman all the time."
Flippant.............
Perhaps. Although to quote myself from an earlier comment, maybe I am a girl and just don't realize it yet. Having spent so long hiding these feelings is it not possible that my female identity, my true identity, is somewhere very deep inside refusing to come out because of all the stigma surrounding transgender people? It may be unlikely that this is the case but if that's so then why will these girl feelings not go away? Why am I able to relate to transsexuals more than I'm able to with anyone else? Why do all the pieces seem to fit? Why can't I just accept that I'm a dude with a perfectly fine, healthy, good sized penis? I mention size to rule out anyone thinking I'd like to get rid of it because it's too small. Quite the opposite, it's too damn big.
I'd also like to challenge your assumption that one cannot change their identity. People change their identities all the time. Perhaps you're unfamiliar with the thousands of memoirs or self-help books that show people transforming their lives and identities and sharing their struggles and tactics so that others can do it too! I won't bother mentioning the countless fictional stories about people changing from who they were into a completely different person.
Oh you mean like the the guy in the OP link? That's cute and clever, I see what you did there. Oh wait, there is a difference between him and I though: He wasn't transgender. I am.
It's a good thing I posted the link so that others far smarter than I can help me in my research and point out discrepancies and frauds so I don't inadvertently listen to my heart and follow them blindly.
Yes, I do think it will be easier to integrate after x months of hormones. Will it be due to magic, gobs of cash or perfect genes? No as I've struck out on all three of those. It will be because I've worked damn hard at coming to terms with the hand I've been dealt which will hopefully be solidified by how my body responds to hormones.
To conclude this rant, I just want to be happy and a girl. A happy girl who is certain of her decisions, regretting only that she didn't start transitioning sooner!
Last edited by dreamer_2.0; 04-02-2014 at 12:01 AM.
I wasn't talking about "here" specifically. I was talking about our community as a whole. Go to ANY support group or TG event and you will get plenty of encouragement. A lot of therapists will encourage you as well as an awful lot of well meaning Cis people. I realize the world is not an accepting place, but the community and our allies certainly are.
This is a demonstrable fact, and the existence of a dozen girls on this single forum who would advise caution doesn't change the fact that the community at large LOVES a transitioner.
Luckily for the readers of this forum, many here are much smarter than the community at large, and despite a near total lack of anything other than anecdotal evidence - they know much better. Bravo.
I wonder what cancer treatment would be like if successful survivors encouraged new patients to "be sure" before seeking treatment recommended to them by medical professionals?
May I ask what you mean by this exactly? I was talking about a completely different forum, which is not specifically for TG people, though it is TG friendly. I just meant that people didn't have an issue with gendering me correctly when I told them I'm trans, and treated me as such. Nobody has ever tried to push me towards transition.
Last edited by princessheather86; 04-02-2014 at 01:49 AM.
I know many many people who have transitioned, both ways. NONE of them has ever expressed regret. Quite the contrary.
Transitioning is not easy. It is not fun and games, although it does bring moments of deep personal joy to many of us.
What I will say about this, and it was my first thought on reading the OP, and confirmed as I read through the thread... I have seen a backlash against gender variance and the progress we are making in gaining equality and support and understanding. That backlash is coming straight from the religious right and from people who are transphobic and or homophobic. It is coming from people who do not understand gender variance and don't WANT to.
The concept of male-female is a very fundamental basic underpinning to most people's understanding of the world. What we are doing is upsetting that assumption that a penis=male, vagina=female. We are even saying chromosones won't tell you the whole story. We are saying IDENTITY is a big part of it, and what upsets people and makes them feel uncertain and confused, is that they cannot SEE our identity. Most people come from an assumptive identity to start with - they know themselves to be what they are, just as we know ourselves to be human.
So we are challenging those basic structures and beliefs and we are getting a backlash now. I have just come out of some nasty nasty online fights with people who are using the regret argument to try and belittle and nullify our own realities. There are many many people out there who will have us labeled insane, misguided, deluded, and misled.
My personal experience is that is not true. Again, I have yet to meet people who regret.
People may regret things at times... maybe they lose too much, and have moments of regret. I had a moment of regret post op in my darkest hour only because my body had been functioning and then was just a mess. But I got past that, healed and I have absolutely NO regrets other that I wish I had done this a lot sooner.
I really think we should be careful buying into self doubt in this community. I know we see people who have multiple issues.. many of us do, partly BECAUSE of the way we were born. One thing leads to another and we have more issues than just transitioning can solve. But it can give us a platform to work from, which we may not have had and that is vital.
So when you see someone who seems unsure, clumsy, conflicted, etc... let's try to help them, not push them away because they may make the rest of us look bad. That's the knid of diviseness and self doubt the haters are trying to foster.
We're human, and we make mistakes and we don't get it perfect. But we aren't stupid and we are not deluded.
And everyone is entitled to make their own way, without prejuidice or judgment. Who's to say what's right and wrong?
And how many born again Christians have regrets? How many haters?
It's a war. Let's not feed the enemy or do their job for them. That site is shite.
"I dwell in possibility."
"Say what you want and be who you are, because those who matter don't mind, and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."
George Bernard Shaw
Actually, as a cancer survivor I would say just this.
I think there is a difference between encouraging a person to see all angles, and to go in with a critical understanding of what they are engaging in (esp when it does involve the medical profession which sometimes can make a person's life more complicated without giving fair warning if one does not ask the right questions), and dissuading someone.
I would never dissuade anyone. I would never suggest that someone think twice or whatever. But I would say to anyone, no matter what they do, if it is a road I have been down, that they should consider things carefully.
I do think some people patronize others, especially in some *ehem* areas of the community, by acting as if people can't think for themselves. I wouldn't tell another cancer patient they should or shouldn't do anything. But I would share my experience, if they either wanted input or there were issues I found along the way that I wouldn't want others to also find out the hard way (that actually applies more to my partner's cancer treatments... which informed my approach, not to make the same mistakes.)
"I dwell in possibility."
"Say what you want and be who you are, because those who matter don't mind, and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."
George Bernard Shaw
That's exactly it Kerrianna. Well said. Your post is consistent with my experience and everyone I personally know that transitioned.
If someone is not mature enough to deal with criticism or unwanted advice constructively they are in a poor frame of mind to consider life altering issues anyway...
+++++
And frankly put Paula, snark aside, its true that the community of informed posters here are pretty smart.
and
I would certainly advise a cancer patient to be sure they had cancer before getting treated for it.
..and i would certainly advise a cancer patient to consider all alternatives and side effects....especially if I had specific experience.. perhaps i'd even talk about what my own doctor advised as compared to yours.. who wouldn't?
My dad had prostrate cancer and he went to three doctors and asked dozens of men of their experiences as to which method he should take to be cured.
You color the whole world with your view that you were wronged. Many of us were. I certainly was.
I will also add, that in the very specific context of this thread, I am very comfortable with anecdotal evidence. Especially to combat flawed anecdotal stories that are promoted as basic truths.
I would also point out that a number of actual studies were posted here...and given the small sample sizes I can say I've met as many transsexuals as there were in those studies (Mtf)... that's meaningful information if not scientifically "accurate"
First, I apologize if I made it sound like this was a comment intended to criticize you. It was not. But the comment was a response to the assertion that perhaps there really aren’t people online that are too quick to encourage others who were considering the idea of transition, and this looks like a perfect example.
By your own admission your real life transition steps are pretty much nonexistent, yet others in another forum (doesn’t really matter that it’s not TG specific) were all so eager to treat you like a girl when they don’t appear to have any reason to do so.
I mean, I’m very glad that you’re getting all of these online tummy rubs, but they really don’t have much to do with supporting anything that actually resembles a real transition.
“Anecdotal evidence” as opposed to what - empirical evidence? Aside from the fact that there’s a paucity of empirical evidence (although that body of data is growing) what other kind of information would be valuable to someone in transition? Only anecdotal accounts can tell anyone in transition how others felt, what kinds of coping mechanisms they employed and the types of maneuvers others used to adjust their lives to effect a successful transition.
I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back keep me here to wait for me so I don't go back out and miss myself when I return.
They DID have a reason to do so - I told them I am trans and asked them to. And they did that because it's an accepting community that's not going to interrogate people over whether or not they are/are not trans. That's not encouraging people to transition, that's being respectful of how someone chooses to identify.
Okay, fair enough then. I am at the very beginning of transition and have not done much apart from seek medical advice.I mean, I’m very glad that you’re getting all of these online tummy rubs, but they really don’t have much to do with supporting anything that actually resembles a real transition.
To Dreamer,
There is no bible, but there is a set of protocols followed pretty much universally by medical practitioners (WPATH protocols).
HRT can both be dangerous and not produce major changes. The two propositions are not mutually exclusive.
I was on HRT for five months before I went full-time, but I could pass quite easily without hormones if I presented as a woman. After five months, I had a hard time passing as a man, except with my co-workers, who saw zero change. One thing that never changed was my perception of myself. There was no change with hormones and no change with SRS. I never started to "feel like a girl" or feel "differently" for that matter. What changed was how others perceived and interacted with me. In short, the brain did not follow the body, it's the body that followed the brain.
I can only relay my experience. 4 different groups, 2 on each coast. 2 attended more than once, and one where I'm a frequent attendee. Of the two I hit once, one was all trans politics, the other filled with a group of really marginal folks. The one I attend frequently is the largest, typically 20-30 people, both MtF and FtM. There is encouragement and support, to be sure, but nothing like the kind of cheerleading we're talking about. I pretty much hear the same themes there as here, without the academic argumentation and anger ...
I've had two gender therapists. I consider myself lucky there. Having been dragged to therapy as a kid and having been to a couple of marriage counselors in my first marriage, I know they can be a disaster. I don't disbelieve that some of them might cheerlead, but it has not been my experience.
God are you right about the community loving a transitioner, though. People flock to them like the prophet on the mountaintop ... only to get PO'd at them when they speak ...
With respect, Michelle, what I see going on is variously either fantasy or courtesy. At least in any reasonably legitimate forum I have seen. I will say that it took me a while to settle on this one. I almost didn't because of the fantasy component on the CD side.
Maybe it's more accurate to say that you seldom find cheerleading coming from transitioners?
Lea
The most ironic thing about "you go girl" advice is that I bet 9 of 10 are not from transitioned transsexuals.
And I bet a majority of them are from people that are not transsexuals or will never transition.. TG People like to live vicariously through us.
You keep doing what you are doing Heather...it took me 40 years to figure it all out... You are smart, you will figure this out in your own way and your own time..
to keep it on topic, I would advise you to know that in transition, its possible to screw it up, its possible to be unlucky, and its often brutal to get through transition
... however, if you are transsexual and you are suffering gender dysphoria, transition is very likely to improve your quality of life.
Isn't it just being supportive and encouraging people to explore rather than transition itself?
I fit into the queer community like a sock in a windtunnel but even then I never heard anyone encouraging people to rush into things.
I can't speak for all therapists but going back to what Kathryn said as well I find it hard to believe that there is an international cabal of therapists out to turn TG/GQ people into transsexuals.
e:
Here's the thing though, there aren't a whole lot of transitioned transsexuals around.The most ironic thing about "you go girl" advice is that I bet 9 of 10 are not from transitioned transsexuals.
And I bet a majority of them are from people that are not transsexuals or will never transition.. TG People like to live vicariously through us.
Few stick around in the community after they're done and even then there's no guarantee they're there to support the next generation of TSs.
Hell, I'd love to find a TS I could talk to IRL but so far it's not been a fruitful search.
e2:
That's support and acceptance, not encouragement.Um, right here?
What are people supposed to do?
Do we tell them to seek therapy and explore or do we tell them flat out that they're probably just a man and not to transition?
Provided people follow the standards of care chances are they'll be fine if we don't go #2 (lol).
e3:
It's almost like we could divide it up into "everyone should transition" and "no one should transition (but me)" except the former doesn't exist.
Last edited by whowhatwhen; 04-02-2014 at 09:55 AM.
My experience and path has been a little different, but with the same conclusion. I started hormones without a transition commitment, though with the knowledge I am TS. It will be in the two-year range on hormones by the time I transition. I did have the experience of consciously perceiving female identity (which seems unusual). That happened WELL before starting hormones or even deciding to go ahead with them, for that matter. What that turned out to be, though, was the re-emergence of my pre-adolescent self-sense. I instantly knew it as female, though I have no rational explanation for why this is so. This replaced a pervasive sense of not being gendered at all. My identity had stabilized the time I started hormones. When I did, the body followed, as you said. I simply feel more like me. There is no sense of becoming something different than I was, of "transforming into a woman.
I am one of those are reluctant to support "trying HRT."
While I started them without knowing whether I would transition, I did so fully accepting probable permanent physical change and the willingness to transition if that wound up being the right path. Both my therapist and I were interested a level of confirmation within the first few months, but that was not diagnosis. I had the diagnosis already.
My therapist tells me that she has had patients who started and stopped. They feel sluggish, uneasy, anxious, etc. Despite that, it is obvious that some people experience significant relief - especially from anti-androgens and usually very quickly. That can easily delude them into thinking they are TS when they are not. (I found the effects of estrogen far more subtle, if pervasive, and really only started understanding how much they "rewire" you only after a year in.)
Further, some start seeing physical changes, get quite uncomfortable with them, and stop estrogen and keep taking anti-androgens. HUGE mistake!!!
There is some danger of continuing to press down a transition path on emotional and psychological grounds, even out of motivations like belonging, obsession, neediness, and for other reasons not related to identity. People find themselves caught up in this, creating what Kathryn has described as a dynamic toward transition.
But it gets worse! There are those who start and stop hormones repeatedly! Not out of medical necessity, but because they can't settle on their identity and proper direction. Let me tell you, that will screw up your health in a hurry.
Dreamer – if you don't believe hormones are powerful, go talk to an endocrinologist. Forget secondary sex characteristics for a second and even effects on things like emotion and mood. Sex steroids affect the majority of functions in the human body. Estrogen is the most powerful known.
Last edited by LeaP; 04-02-2014 at 01:28 PM. Reason: Sloppy grammar
Lea
Actually it is not a cabal. It's economics and good marketing. The original intention of a psychiatric assessment was purely for co-morbidity issues and to determine if there were any underlying metal disorders which caused the patient to believe they were cross sexed.
This assessment was simply that nothing more. In the early 1970s the "industry" discovered that they could offer services to "guide" people through self discovery process. The number of TG who wanted to transition rose as a result. In today's world you have long term counseling that most often results in hormones being taken, netting (instead of three sessions necessary for an assessment) a massive amount of money to the treating psychologists, gender therapists and psychiatrists. It's simple 3x150=450, 24x150=3,600 or even more. The focus of what needs to be done has shiften entirely from assessment to guiding "self-discover". And the longer the treating specialist can maintain the guidance role the better it is. The result has been a steady accretion of more and more people who are "guided" into gender related pathologies and of course more and more of those transitioning who otherwise might never have done so.
"Never forget the many ways there are to be human" (The Transsexual Taboo)
Yes, it's totally more believable that mental health professionals are pushing people toward transition to get that sweet sweet cash.
What about those who were guided away from transition because they saw a therapist and went by the book?
I'm sorry but this is like lizard people level of ridiculousness.
OP:
Follow the standards of care, be honest with yourself and your therapist, and don't concern yourself with trying to prove yourself to internet gatekeepers.
If it turns out you don't need to transition then that's fine, that's what I thought the whole purpose of "self discovery" was for: "do I absolutely positively have to?".
Last edited by whowhatwhen; 04-02-2014 at 12:00 PM.
I certainly hope they are powerful. I recall reading perhaps on this site someone mentioning their pharmacist's hesitation in giving her hormones, "these small pills will turn a dog into a cat". I believe her response was "isn't that the point?"
They are not the be all and end all of transition, of course, but I hope they do help me in figuring myself out.
I'm hopefully meeting an endocrinologist this month, we'll see how it goes.
Standards of care are definitely being followed. I'd prefer not to transition if it can be avoided, however over the last while it seems like transition is the only option. I of course don't know if that's true but hope to continue discovering what works and what doesn't as I continue down this path.
This sadly makes sense and supports a fear of mine wondering if my gender therapist is really helping me or just appearing to so that I'll come back and spend more money. She challenges very little, if any, of what I say and advocates self-discovery and exploration...but for who's agenda, hers or mine? It matters little now as she's actually moved on, our final session was last week. On to a new therapist I go, however it's probably for the best as this new one is apparently THE gender therapist in my city who's been involved with the community for, I believe, 20 years. It'll be interesting to see how she differs from my first therapist.
Last edited by dreamer_2.0; 04-02-2014 at 02:51 PM. Reason: Proof reading fail.
Posting Permissions
