what percentage get spooked after joining

[devida]

I do have a separate account and name for pretty much everything I do relating to transgender. I'm not sure why. IRL I am pretty out about it and I'm too old and too unemployable to care about any work related problems. But I do have some imprint on the intertubes under my real name and I suppose I'm not sure how the that would relate to my T status. The only person with access to my trans id online is my SO and she knows everything I do because I always tell her.

Actually I think I do know why I have a secret trans identity. There are just a whole lot of boring and creepy trans chasers (and cd chasers) out there that I just don't want to have to tell that they are boring and creepy.

[Deedee Skyblue]

I have never gotten an announcement from this site

"Your comment in <this thread> has been edited." "Your post in <this thread> has been deleted." "Your thread <name> has been moved". "The thread you started <name> has been deleted."

Nothing to do with settings, you just haven't been involved in a moderator intervention yet.


A little off topic, but... there are a LOT of replies to this thread about how people come and go and the average member doesn't stick around very long. But the prevailing opinion is that one can never ever ever stop being a crossdresser. But we have no idea what happens to all those people who stop coming here. Maybe they stopped? Nah, not possible.

Back on topic, I sometimes wish this particular category was private. Sometimes there are things I would like to say in replies that I really don't want to make available to the general public. I realize the just because one of our topics is 'private' doesn't mean that it is totally inaccessible, but I often feel more comfortable with that level of privacy.

Deedee

[sanderlay]

not sure how that is calculated, just notice the numbers at the bottom of the forum home page,

do any off your social sites link to this one in some way....

The way it calculated I could not say either. But from my experience as a DB Admin I would assume the count is for those currently logged in (Members) and those viewing as auto guest log in (guests), view only for areas permitted.

As for my social sites I currently don't do direct links from site to site. Beyond that I'm not saying for now.
I tend to be more guarded online than in the physical world. Mainly because some persons say things online that they would never say directly to your face.

Added...

I sometimes wish this particular category was private. Sometimes there are things I would like to say in replies that I really don't want to make available to the general public. I realize the just because one of our topics is 'private' doesn't mean that it is totally inaccessible, but I often feel more comfortable with that level of privacy.

Deedee

Agreed

[Jacqueline Winona]

Probably many reasons. Some get bored, as the topics do repeat a lot and the same arguments get old, even if we're all convinced we are still right. Some realize this isn't as big of a deal to them as it is to others, as they may be truly occasional dressers who aren't interested or willing to invest the time and energy to become passable. I go through this a lot, I really have no desire to go out (still) even after being here for a pretty long time. When you're reading the same things and realize that the lifestyle so many appear to want isn't for you, you do feel like you don't belong. Some have spouses or SO's who are never going to "get" this, and they run out of fear and/or shame. And still others just have different expectations for the site than what they meet. These are the true fetish dressers, or the people who thought they were joining a site more inclined towards social gatherings, etc.

[Amanda M]

Fortunately, I don't have to worry about my wife knowing I use this site, and I do maintain a separate email account as Amanda. What I always have at the back of my mind is that if anyone malicious finds out who I am - and I don't think that would be too dificult- my answer would simply be "Why were YOU looking at CD sites anyway. Wonder what your wife would say?"

[Krisi]

You think people are spooked? It's not that hard to keep membership here secret with just a little computer knowledge and common sense.

My guess is, people join here thinking they will learn from other crossdressers. After a while, they get the answers they need and move on. Some may be shocked by what some people post or some may just not like the "tone" of this forum or some of the threads. Some may just get tired of the same old subjects over and over again.

[kimdl93]

I haven't made it a practice to share email addresses or to correspond in that manner. The pm function serves my needs

[Anna H]

Back on topic, I sometimes wish this particular category was private. Sometimes there are things I would like to say in replies that I really don't want to make available to the general public. I realize the just because one of our topics is 'private' doesn't mean that it is totally inaccessible, but I often feel more comfortable with that level of privacy.

Deedee

I agree too.

[Lynn Marie]

Wasn't it Alfred E Neuman of Mad magazine who said "What, me spooked"?

I've always liked old Al's attitude.

[Anna H]

Alfred E Neuman. I'd always heard that guy was a cross-dresser.

You never know what those people will say.....

[Krisi]

Nothing on the Internet is "private". What did you have to do to get on here? Well, your wife, your ex wife, your boss, anyone can become a member here. They don't send someone out to your house to check your closet.

Also, even though it's poor practice and against the rules, many people log on to websites and leave their computer without logging off. Many people share their accounts on websites (again, against the rules).

You have two choices - hide your identity really well or - watch what you post.

[MsVal]

I was a lurker for a few months before I decided this would be a good place to learn more about my recently acknowledged desire to present as a woman. Joining was a milestone of sorts, putting my pseudonym on a place where these socially unacceptable things were discussed made my crossdressing desire "real". My first post was another, then my first "started" thread, then my first headless photo... All milestones along my journey.

At each milestone I cast aside a bit more of my anonymity. Each one was accompanied by the conscious thought "Did I do the right thing?"

One day in the dim, distant future you may find me in casual feminine attire mowing my lawn and chatting with my neighbors. The first time I do, I will ask myself "Did I do the right thing?"

Best wishes
MsVal

[Aylineira]

Yes, a lot of new members will probably read and try to understand what crossdressing is all about. I know I still do a lot more reading than posting.

[mykell]

I was a lurker for a few months before I decided this would be a good place to learn more about my recently acknowledged desire to present as a woman. Joining was a milestone of sorts, putting my pseudonym on a place where these socially unacceptable things were discussed made my crossdressing desire "real". My first post was another, then my first "started" thread, then my first headless photo... All milestones along my journey.

At each milestone I cast aside a bit more of my anonymity. Each one was accompanied by the conscious thought "Did I do the right thing?"

One day in the dim, distant future you may find me in casual feminine attire mowing my lawn and chatting with my neighbors. The first time I do, I will ask myself "Did I do the right thing?"

Best wishes
MsVal

your journey here sounds like mine, long list of firsts, wont be pushing the mower though, and that is why only my legs are in my avatar, searched some things id written and saw my posts come up, none of the private areas though.

Nothing on the Internet is "private". What did you have to do to get on here? Well, your wife, your ex wife, your boss, anyone can become a member here. They don't send someone out to your house to check your closet.

Also, even though it's poor practice and against the rules, many people log on to websites and leave their computer without logging off. Many people share their accounts on websites (again, against the rules).

You have two choices - hide your identity really well or - watch what you post.

who was the gal that showed up at my place then, said she was from here, new i was missing some panties,

my point was the techies that have all they're devices linked up and at fingertips reach.....

[Christen]

Mmm, I too have a separate email address and use private browsing. But I do think this is a pretty safe place to be, wouldn't be here otherwise. And like others have said, there is a natural tendancy to move on once the initial excitement has diminished. Like you Mikell, I was amazed at the initial responses when I joined. I got quite excited at finding really lovely people in the crossdressing community but then I realised that too much of a good thing can be just that, so I pulled back a bit. And like Katey said, sometimes I can't think of anything worthwhile to say.
But even if I'm quiet around here, Gee, I appreciate having friends with whom I can share this bit of me.

Christen x

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Mikell, You have to keep your two lives separated at all cost.

[mykell]

Mmm, I too have a separate email address and use private browsing. But I do think this is a pretty safe place to be, wouldn't be here otherwise. And like others have said, there is a natural tendancy to move on once the initial excitement has diminished. Like you Mikell, I was amazed at the initial responses when I joined. I got quite excited at finding really lovely people in the crossdressing community but then I realised that too much of a good thing can be just that, so I pulled back a bit. And like Katey said, sometimes I can't think of anything worthwhile to say.
But even if I'm quiet around here, Gee, I appreciate having friends with whom I can share this bit of me.

Christen x

when i joined i received a bundle of e-mails from my default settings for notifications, every FR, PM, and IM, was forwarded to my e-mail address, it was a little shocking for me at first, and as ive fairly well accepted this part of me at this time of my life i wondered more how our younger members accepted/handled the notifications when they first joined......

Hi Mikell, You have to keep your two lives separated at all cost.

i did initially, but since my reveal not a priority,

[~Joanne~]

"Your comment in <this thread> has been edited." "Your post in <this thread> has been deleted." "Your thread <name> has been moved". "The thread you started <name> has been deleted."

Nothing to do with settings, you just haven't been involved in a moderator intervention yet.

I actually get those in my PM here but I never get one in my email account. After re reading this I checked my settings, I have this checked: Don't receive Email Notification of new Private Messages this probably keeps the emails out of my email account. I have a few of these checked off.

[Taylor Ray]

My suggestion for new members would be:

Be bold and post what you really feel...

It may be bumpy for a few months as you learn the site-rules and the seemingly overly-entrenched opinions of some of the members.

But if you hang in there you will learn a great deal about this wonderful subculture we are all a part of, no matter where we fit in on the spectrum.

I have learned to respect all of the members here, even the ones who seem to come from a different place than I do. Even the ones who seem to be quick to judge (as many of us are when speaking about a topic so personal to us and so profound) deserve respect when understood within the context of their struggles.

I tend to want to lean towards the positive when it comes to the internet, and sights like these:

When it comes down to it, there are other people like us out there in the world, struggling to embrace those parts of us that make us different.

Sure, we may come from different places...

But perhaps we are all heading to a similar place. And with each other, we can begin to accept our mutual journeys with compassion and a thread of commonality.

[Tina_gm]

I would say at times especially early on I could get spooked. Sometimes I still can, But for me it is not so much the internet/privacy thing as it is merely that I am a member of a site like this. It was a huge step for me to become a member here. A realization of sorts of who and what I really am. While not as frequent, there are still times where I do get a little freaked about it all. I will sometimes get a feeling that washes over me that is a WTF am I doing and being on here.

[MsVal]

I want to echo Gendermutt's comment about wondering why I'm here.

Crossdressing wasn't an issue for me a year ago, at least it wasn't on the conscious level.
Now, here I sit, chatting with a bunch of like minded folks while dressed in capri's, sandals, and a summery tee.
What is going on here?

Best wishes
MsVal