what percentage get spooked after joining

[mykell]

just seems like some fall off the planet after they join, i was a little shocked by all the e-mails generated when i joined, and with all our social outlets so entwined could see some being spooked by that,(especially the younger generation) girl friend or mom picking up a cellphone or tablet and seeing all the pink e-mails.

always see the active members # much lower than the total members #.

all the welcomes are so friendly i know i felt welcome, but i used an old e-mail address and was past the point of caring if someone i know works for my internet carrier

any other thoughts....

[Jaylyn]

I just keep this a separate thing totally. My wife knows and supports me anyway and all the kids are gone so really not to worried but do have separate accounts for my stuff.

[Zylia]

I have a separate 'femme' email account, even a separate cell phone number (and cell phone). I don't fetch that email with my 'normal' phone. I don't use my ISP's email account in the first place.

[JazT95]

I keep it all on a separate email account also. I just think maybe some people forget about it?

[Janet Doe]

Possibly a lot of new users ( myself included ) do more reading than posting. This " hobby ", although its been part of my life for as long as I can remember, it is still a private thing.

[SherriePall]

I keep things separate between me and him. A lot safer that way. Besides, I am past being spooked.

[Bryn]

I'm the only one that uses my computer or my phone. Did have a moment where I was checking my email in front of my friends and some announcement from this website was at the top of my inbox, but I doubt they were reading over my shoulder and they haven't said anything.

[~Joanne~]

I have never gotten an announcement from this site, maybe there is a setting that I unchecked or something when I signed up. Wouldn't matter as My SO knows and no one else uses my PC, they know better I also have a femme email account and do my best to make sure that two world's don't collide.

[Deedee Skyblue]

I have never gotten an announcement from this site

"Your comment in <this thread> has been edited." "Your post in <this thread> has been deleted." "Your thread <name> has been moved". "The thread you started <name> has been deleted."

Nothing to do with settings, you just haven't been involved in a moderator intervention yet.


A little off topic, but... there are a LOT of replies to this thread about how people come and go and the average member doesn't stick around very long. But the prevailing opinion is that one can never ever ever stop being a crossdresser. But we have no idea what happens to all those people who stop coming here. Maybe they stopped? Nah, not possible.

Back on topic, I sometimes wish this particular category was private. Sometimes there are things I would like to say in replies that I really don't want to make available to the general public. I realize the just because one of our topics is 'private' doesn't mean that it is totally inaccessible, but I often feel more comfortable with that level of privacy.

Deedee

[Anna H]

Back on topic, I sometimes wish this particular category was private. Sometimes there are things I would like to say in replies that I really don't want to make available to the general public. I realize the just because one of our topics is 'private' doesn't mean that it is totally inaccessible, but I often feel more comfortable with that level of privacy.

Deedee

I agree too.

[Krisi]

Nothing on the Internet is "private". What did you have to do to get on here? Well, your wife, your ex wife, your boss, anyone can become a member here. They don't send someone out to your house to check your closet.

Also, even though it's poor practice and against the rules, many people log on to websites and leave their computer without logging off. Many people share their accounts on websites (again, against the rules).

You have two choices - hide your identity really well or - watch what you post.

[mykell]

I was a lurker for a few months before I decided this would be a good place to learn more about my recently acknowledged desire to present as a woman. Joining was a milestone of sorts, putting my pseudonym on a place where these socially unacceptable things were discussed made my crossdressing desire "real". My first post was another, then my first "started" thread, then my first headless photo... All milestones along my journey.

At each milestone I cast aside a bit more of my anonymity. Each one was accompanied by the conscious thought "Did I do the right thing?"

One day in the dim, distant future you may find me in casual feminine attire mowing my lawn and chatting with my neighbors. The first time I do, I will ask myself "Did I do the right thing?"

Best wishes
MsVal

your journey here sounds like mine, long list of firsts, wont be pushing the mower though, and that is why only my legs are in my avatar, searched some things id written and saw my posts come up, none of the private areas though.

Nothing on the Internet is "private". What did you have to do to get on here? Well, your wife, your ex wife, your boss, anyone can become a member here. They don't send someone out to your house to check your closet.

Also, even though it's poor practice and against the rules, many people log on to websites and leave their computer without logging off. Many people share their accounts on websites (again, against the rules).

You have two choices - hide your identity really well or - watch what you post.

who was the gal that showed up at my place then, said she was from here, new i was missing some panties,

my point was the techies that have all they're devices linked up and at fingertips reach.....

[~Joanne~]

"Your comment in <this thread> has been edited." "Your post in <this thread> has been deleted." "Your thread <name> has been moved". "The thread you started <name> has been deleted."

Nothing to do with settings, you just haven't been involved in a moderator intervention yet.

I actually get those in my PM here but I never get one in my email account. After re reading this I checked my settings, I have this checked: Don't receive Email Notification of new Private Messages this probably keeps the emails out of my email account. I have a few of these checked off.

[Taylor Ray]

My suggestion for new members would be:

Be bold and post what you really feel...

It may be bumpy for a few months as you learn the site-rules and the seemingly overly-entrenched opinions of some of the members.

But if you hang in there you will learn a great deal about this wonderful subculture we are all a part of, no matter where we fit in on the spectrum.

I have learned to respect all of the members here, even the ones who seem to come from a different place than I do. Even the ones who seem to be quick to judge (as many of us are when speaking about a topic so personal to us and so profound) deserve respect when understood within the context of their struggles.

I tend to want to lean towards the positive when it comes to the internet, and sights like these:

When it comes down to it, there are other people like us out there in the world, struggling to embrace those parts of us that make us different.

Sure, we may come from different places...

But perhaps we are all heading to a similar place. And with each other, we can begin to accept our mutual journeys with compassion and a thread of commonality.

[ArleneRaquel]

I was a visitor here for months before I joined, but once I had joined I have never been spooked.

[Lorileah]

just seems like some fall off the planet after they join,

I have been here a long time and I can tell you very few stay here very long. Most the people I started talking with when I joined are now gone and many of them I miss a lot (We had fun back then). How long someone stays depends on when they get what they wanted (or realize they won't get what they wanted) from the site. After a while you get tired of the same old subjects and the the same old arguments and you go and find some place new to play.

i was a little shocked by all the e-mails generated when i joined, and with all our social outlets so entwined could see some being spooked by that,(especially the younger generation) girl friend or mom picking up a cellphone or tablet and seeing all the pink e-mails.

So I assume you are doing this on the sly and that you are not being upfront with your SO at least. There seems to be trust issues here. If you are afraid your SO is going to see this, why don't you tell her? Is it because you are getting a little thrill sneaking behind her? The other trust issue is why is she looking at YOUR history and emails?

[Sallee]

I have been here awhile and I am fairly active on the site more than I should be. I don't know why the paranioa I never recieved an unwanted email. Of course I do have a separate acct. but still if some one finds out So what wife knows kids do to But that said I am still dadt.

[Stephanie47]

I have a separate email account. I guess I thought I was paranoid someone would discover more than a mere interest in women's clothing. On the other hand all my femme buying on eBay and elsewhere is on my regular accounts. If I failed to sign off entirely on my computer someone coming behind me on eBay may see too many femme searches and buys. I make sure I 'x' out entirely.

I do get some PM's from members in response to a comment. I am not really gung ho in chatting with anyone concerning their likes or dislikes in feminine clothing. That's based on the preference for face to face interaction or telephone chats. The number of postings I have is really based on the fact I am retired and have little to do most of the morning. Right now I am waiting around to go to an appointment to get my car serviced.

[mykell]

So I assume you are doing this on the sly and that you are not being upfront with your SO at least. There seems to be trust issues here. If you are afraid your SO is going to see this, why don't you tell her? Is it because you are getting a little thrill sneaking behind her? The other trust issue is why is she looking at YOUR history and emails?

my point was the younger folks are so connected with all the new technology "sharing" "clouds" ect that they may get spooked because they are so open with they're tech toys that someone can just pick up a phone or tablet, SO/GF knows passwords and they lost that anonymity that i had being secretive when i joined and out themselves before they have a chance to learn what it may take to reveal or accept themselves.
if that is what will work for them of course.

i understand that as we get older and less interested we move on also...

[Beverley Sims]

I always tip toe through the tulips, I am not all that active.

[Katey888]

Mikell, there are probably a host of factors that impact this - not least that most people seem to have the attention span of a goldfish nowadays (present company excluded, of course... ) - never had probs with emails though - maybe no one wants to talk to me...

I think I joined about 3 days after finding the forum and realised it could help me... Of course, I thought that was just understanding wtf is wrong with me rather than actually getting better at doing makeup.. It wasn't supposed to be like this...

Some folk probably sign up, read lots, find that a combination of other folk will say what they would have said anyway, so become the 'member-lurkers' (no offence - perhaps 'sleeping members' is better...) - nothing wrong with that. Some days - often mood dependent - I can log on, read some things, tidy the forum a bit, and just can't find anything relevant to post about... Other days - more like today - I'm feeling a bit more opinionated, outspoken, witty (rare), or just feel that I need a connection. It's good knowing it's here even if it might only be something very unexciting going on... (Did I just say unexciting...? Wait for that bolt from admin to strike...)

I've only kept going as I thought I could convert posts to air miles... bummer!

Katey x

[Hell on Heels]

I joined about an hour after finding the forum, I was so intrigued, all these people are here? in one place?
Openly discussing everything that I'm doing! What could be better! then the next day a bit of paranoia set in,
the what if I slip up with the e-mails or leave a trace somewhere, somehow. That still happens to this day, but i'm
not not anywhere near disappearing. Private e-mails have of course been created, and I'm hyper-vigillant in removing
any trace from my computer and phone.
It is kinda sad to see people disappear from the forum, all you can do is hope the best for them and keep moving on.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[AprilMayy<3]

I was originally pretty spooked about joining, but not too much any more. I still only browse it late at night or when I have the house to my self. I don't have a second email or anything, just my main one I use. When I check my email and the emails from the sites are here, I just quickly close the tab or click on another email like its nothing. So no one really has said anything about my inbox so I don't think anyone cares to look or snoop haha

[samantha rogers]

Always dangerous to speak on behalf of others or to generalize. There are some sites I have joined just to look around, then decided I didnt want to stay there. On the other hand, when I find one I like I tend to stick around...so get used to me being here...tee hee.

[julia marie]

Like others, I use a separate email account for this (and don't have the site remember my password, etc.).
The member falloff (oops, bad image) might have something to do with the the site topics and fear, but understand that it's also a product of the web. The vast majority of people who sign up for any website disappear from the forums pretty quickly. Some may post a couple of time and maybe lurk for a while, but others discover that they don't have the time or interest in continuing to post or even visiting the site at all. You would be shocked to see how many people who register with a site that serves a professional group only visit a few times, almost never post, and quickly unsubscribe to any newsletters. It's just the way things are in a digital society.