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Thread: How "Cool" is your town?

  1. #1
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    Question How "Cool" is your town?

    I worry that all-too-common negative ideas and attitudes about crossdressing would ruin my career here in Ottawa. (No, I'm not Stephen Harper...he has his own....closet!) (so I hear)
    So I make the short drive to Montreal or Kingston where Ophelia can come out to play fancy free. There is an LGBT village in Montreal where I get hair and makeup and it's so nice to just relax. I've never had a problem in Kingston either. But until that lottery ticket turns to gold....it's ....Ottawa? nyet!
    How "cool" is your town to crossdressing?

  2. #2
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    I've only ever seen cross-dressers in the wild once in the whole of Scotland, and that was out at a rock/metal club. They were not seen favourably. A lot of pointing and laughing. But they took it all in their very feminine stride and looked like they were having a blast!

    I'd probably need to go somewhere that's specifically for TG/CD people to cross that threshold into public dressing. Like Sparkle.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    Hello ophelia
    The town I live in is pretty intolerant very few people will speak to me and I have had a lot of trouble in the past yet a nearby town and most things go you would not believe how some of the people dress there , not offensive just unusual , the problem that I have is that I can travel to the next town or the next few towns or even 140 miles SW and still see someone that knows me so I personally stick to a androgynous sort of look I expect that things are better than I think but due to past experiences I do not want to push it for my familys sake .
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne

  4. #4
    Texas gal sherri's Avatar
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    Since I don't live in a cool town, going out in a nearby metro has been the obvious solution, and it's worked well over the years. Just be aware that sooner or later you ARE going to run into someone from home that you know, or that knows you. If it's within the lgbt community it'll prolly be cool. If not, you could be in damage control mode. I know of at least 4 people in my small town that know about me cuz they saw me in LG clubs in the city. To my knowledge, they've never betrayed my secret.

  5. #5
    Junior Member Amanda Roberts's Avatar
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    In my town I imagine it would pretty much be OK anywhere. .. not really something I am concerned about tho, since when I go out I fully plan to pass as my femme self.

    ~Amanda

  6. #6
    *~Plain-Vanilla TG Girl~*
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    Small Deep South towns are never cool places to be running around
    dressed up.

    Think Salem Mass...oh, say, around 1692.

    I wouldn't want my new payless shoes to be used as fuel for an alligator
    barbecue. Especially with me still in them!

  7. #7
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    I know that our little town in southern Ohio is about as intolerant as they come. In my whole life (I'm 64) I can only remember seeing one woman who I thought was CDing. Her and her SO were eating at Bob Evans, so they were probably passing thru.

    Danielle

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Our town is cool in the winter and warm in the winter.
    A bit "hot" for cross-dressers.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  9. #9
    Is it just me or......... Carroll's Avatar
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    I could walk through the center of town and for the most part people would look and just say "eh, it's Ithaca"
    Drumming, My other hobby

  10. #10
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    Ophelia, I'm surprised that your CD travels haven't taken you to Toronto yet - one of the most LGBT-friendly cities in the world today - and as a fellow Canadian, practically in your own back yard...

    Yeah, yeah!...I know...used to be called "Toronto the Good", "Hogtown", "The Big Smoke", but that puritanical, Calvinistic, Protestant work-ethic mentality is a thing of the past now. With all the immigration from every part of the globe that has taken place here over the last 30 years or so, it has become one of the most diverse, cosmopolitan, and free-thinking cities on the planet. Now it's more "Hollywood North", especially with the world-renowned T.I.F.F. (Toronto International Film Festival) which takes place here every September, and which is one of the world's premiere film festivals. Practically all the Hollywood royalty attends...

    World Pride 2014? Yep, it's taking place right here this summer, despite our current homophobic, crack-smoking buffoon of a mayor who has threatened (promised?) to stay away, so a good time should be had by all.

    Attached is a thread started a few years ago by one of our members asking "How CD Friendly is Toronto?". Much of what was said then still holds true today, and you can see for yourself the multitude of answers she received...

    http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...t=#post1577237

    Come on in - the water's fine...

  11. #11
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    The MCAF [Magic Crossdressing Acceptance Formula] is an elegantly simple one. [and should work in any city] Wear what you want and treat people right.

    This simple formula ^^^ becomes much simpler to follow, after one learns to keep their head OFF a swivel and NOT scrunch your face up worrying about what people MIGHT be THINKING.

    All CDers are Humans and there are no documented cases of Humans being able to read minds.

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    You have to overcome the tortoise syndrome as well!
    Come out of your shell.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  13. #13
    New Member MetalGurl's Avatar
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    My town is incredibly boring, and I've only ever heard stories of people who've met a few crossdressers while they were out. Don't know how they were received. I know I've perused the local and surrounding CraigsLists, just to see who was even posting. There seems to be more across the border in Ohio than here, which isn't surprising since I know there's some bars over there which are mainly LGBT or LGBT friendly.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    ~Stacie~

  14. #14
    MIDI warrior princess Amy Fakley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kate Haylette View Post
    Small Deep South towns are never cool places to be running around
    dressed up.

    Think Salem Mass...oh, say, around 1692.
    ^^ THIS ^^

    While there's plenty of decent people here who'd probably be at least politely tolerant to your face, they're the same people who'll be telling the world the minute you're not there, and once that gets around you will definitely be blackballed at work if not outright fired for some trumped up reason. Won't be able to get hired anywhere else in town, and if you have the means, you'll have to leave.

    And then there's the redneck meth-heads. Not passing in eyesight of a gaggle of these jerks could very easily spell the end of your life, and I'm definitely not kidding about that.

    which is why I absolutely will not leave my house dressed in my town. Gotta go somewhere reasonably metro for that (and even then, be sure it's the right part of town).

  15. #15
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Seriously?

    It's Vegas, Baby! Coolville!
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  16. #16
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    I think Houston is cool, I've seen crosdressers almost everywhere even at my favorite place to shop the Home Depot

  17. #17
    Junior Member RachaelInLv's Avatar
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    Since I am in Vegas ... I can pretty much go about my day

  18. #18
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    A small West Texas town, and I've never seen a crossdresser out in public. This place is so conservative that they think Ronald Reagan was a communist hippie, and their religious attitude... well, I don't think Moses could make it in this town, because he broke "Gods tablets" and they'd stone him here for it.

    So no, I don't think this place is very accepting of anything that is remotely different. I live here because there's not a lot of crime, not much traffic, and the cost of living is low. If I had the income (if my oldest was out of grad school and we had her loans paid off), I'd move to Austin and just put up with paying more for everything just to be in an area where maybe I won't get dragged down the street and burned at the stake if I'm ever found out.

    Yes, I don't get out much. Not dressed, anyway.
    ~Linebacker Melissa

  19. #19
    Silver Member Marcia Blue's Avatar
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    The little town in Iowa, I am from, has the phone book on one side of a legal pad sized sheet of paper. We are cool in "talk" only. My gut reaction is if they knew they had a Transgender or Homosexual in their mists................... The Armageddon had begun, they would bar the door and arm up against the insurrection.
    Marcia (LOVES) Blue

  20. #20
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    My town here in central Kentucky has a fairness clause in the law so TG's and CD's are not all that odd to see,I can go just about anywhere with out any problems.
    Eat in a restaurant go bowling,movies its pretty much a non issue where I live.

  21. #21
    Sweetie shawnsheila's Avatar
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    I'm from Chicago where juts about no one bats an eye (except for us lil ole gals). I've been out an about many times, I even get my beard lasered off as Sheila. If anything, they kinda treat you a bit nicer here.

  22. #22
    Non-Binary / Two-Spirit
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    My Little Town

    I do all the things I would have done before I went full time dressing with no problems, like shop at stores, market, gas, laundry, etc... But I'm not very social in my unnamed town. I don't go to meet people. Perhaps that's why I like being single. But I am friends with neighbors around me. I am retired so I'm not looking for employment. People in my town, like myself, are fairly self sufficient. Most have limited funds and do the best they can with what they have. Most are fairly open to unconventional thinking and are open minded. Most came here to get away from the cities, a lower cost of living, and enjoy nature. Nature is a big perk of why I live where I live. If you're a social person you'll probably not like living here. Larger cities are many miles to drive but they are available. But if you like some peace and quiet this is a wonderful place to live.

    FYI: I'm a mixed dresser as I present both male and female.
    Don't suppress who you are inside your heart. Let the world know how special you really are. Don't forget to smile as you share. It will come through in your beautiful words.

    Your Sister/Brother,
    Debbie/Steve

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member grace7777's Avatar
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    I live in downtown Phoenix and i have wandered around town dressed en femme and have had very few problems.

  24. #24
    Flip a coin... Nikki50/50's Avatar
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    Based on the assumption that either everyone you meet knows you are a CD, or nobody ever even suspects? Then my town is either REALLY observant and REALLY cool about it, or everyone in my town is blind and probably shouldn't be allowed outside without help.
    Judging one's town for how "cool" it is would be a seriously difficult assessment to make, short of shouting it out everywhere you go, to gauge reactions. Keeping an eye on regional postings of this bit of news or that, crossreferencing with what your friends say when/if the subject comes up, coupled with eavesdropping (should you happen to overhear things relevant to the topic), is, at best; a crapshoot.
    The cold reality is, for all towns: It is mixed, and will be for awhile to come. With ANY personality trait (and I DO harbor the firm belief that CDing falls into this category), social acceptance of ANY of them varies so wildly, that any attempt to quantify it is a patently absurd idea. I walk down the same streets as a man and have turned the heads of a few ladies (and guys from time to time lol) here and there, gotten a few not so positive looks/reactions from people, and as a woman; same thing. A (VERY) few times, when people have guessed at my true nature, reactions have ranged from the "oh...ok" nonchalance, to to vulgar catcalls (not often, even the most ignorant a$$clowns around here will mostly only mutter), and all in between.
    OK one (positive reaction) anecdote in particular...the only time I was ever verbally addressed directly to my face about it was an older woman seated at a nearby table at the small coffee shop on the mainstreet telling me (after talking with her for awhile about how best to blend different styles/materials that are all black (I love black), and suddenly realizing I'm a guy) that men aren't supposed to have nicer legs than women, and that it wasn't fair. She ended that statement with "...you b**tch." upon which she laughed, and I laughed so hard I snorted my coffee. That was a fun moment.
    But how cool a town is...there is no way to really ever know.

  25. #25
    Valley Girl Michelle789's Avatar
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    L.A. is totally cool to the TG/CD community. It's one of the most gender friendly places on the planet, and being that Hollywood is known for transforming people for movies, L.A. is a great place for transforming from male to female. We've even produced movies with cross-dressing characters. Our most famous industry encourages it. We have tons of wig shops, and plenty of things to do while en femme, and you don't have to worry about the weather, well usually.

    We even experienced a real magnitude 5.1 earthquake during a transgender support group.

    Just watch out for a psychic on Venice Beach who thinks that gender confusion comes from the devil.
    I've finally mastered the art of making salads. My favorite is a delicious Mediterranean salad.

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