Who is in charge of your body hair?

[Nadine Spirit]

I consider some of my first acts of cross dressing, to not be dressing at all, but rather shaving my body hair. I started it due to swimming, but kept at it, because I liked it.

Once I met my now wife, I explained to her that I occasionally like to shave. She did not mind, but once I began to do it regularly she let me know that she really liked my hairy bod and she kind of complained about me shaving it. Not vehemently, but politely. I in turn asked her to try growing out her body hair and seeing what it felt like. She got to about 2-3 weeks, was terribly annoyed by it, and shaved it all off. From that point forward she has understood that how I choose to keep my own body hair is my own choice.

I feel the same way about telling her how to keep her hair. I once had a good friend tell his wife in front of me that she was not allowed to cut her hair shorter than it was at that time. She said "okay." I was shocked by this. My wife can keep her hair however she wants to, in fact she shaved it all off once, from her head, and I encouraged her to give it a go and was thrilled she went for it!

My point is, shouldn't how anyone keeps their hair be their own choice? If you don't care, and do it to make some else happy, obviously that is different. But to be told how one has to keep their body hair, wow, I personally would revolt pretty quickly from that. What say you?

[Aylineira]

I think everybody has a right to their own body. Surely the significant other can have an effective opinion but I don't know if it's right to say that they are in charge.

[michellekhoo]

Totally agree with you on this Nadine. You have a nice blog by the way.

[PaulaQ]

My wife hated me smooth. She couldn't look at me or touch me after I initially waxed off all of my body hair. It was a serious issue for her until we separated.

She had a hard time dealing with any changes I might have made - not just the obvious ones, really anything.

[ReineD]

I enjoy presenting in a way that my SO finds attractive ... I like to be attractive to my SO. This means making an effort with my presentation, keeping the longer hair, etc, as opposed to just hanging out all the time in sweats or comfy pants, loose Tshirts, sneakers, and no makeup, whether we go out or not.

[Nadine Spirit]

You have a nice blog by the way.

Thanks Michelle

I enjoy presenting in a way that my SO finds attractive ... I like to be attractive to my SO.

Good point Reine, but what if your SO would like for you to shave off all of your hair on your head? Or some other such thing that you might not like? Would you still do it, just because they find it to be attractive?

[Wildaboutheels]

Your post makes perfect sense. The trouble with it is that we are all different and we like what we like. In your case your wife already knew...

On Dating sites there are some women who ask for and insist on hairy chested men. Or bald men. Or men at least 6' tall even if they might only be 5' tall themselves...

I know men who insist that ALL women with very short hair are "dykes". Or "gay". Or lesbian. And would never date one. Or so they claim.

I imagine for most GGs, if it were only body hair, they might not have such an issue, but coupled with all the other stuff, it's an easy one to pick on?

It is well documented that a lot of what we desire in a mate goes back to our Relationships with our parents. Many women have a desire for a man with "big strong hands" and it likely goes back to their Relationships with their dads when little. When little, at their height, it's what thy are easily able to notice. Not to mention be picked up by. Not a giant leap of the imagination, at least for SOME men that when THEY were wittle, their moms often wore skirts, pantyhose and heels. Quite noticeable when one is only 2 feet tall.

AND highly impressionable.

[ReineD]

Good point Reine, but what if your SO would like for you to shave off all of your hair on your head? Or some other such thing that you might not like? Would you still do it, just because they find it to be attractive?

IF bald heads were considered beautiful and were in fashion, and if I had a nice scalp, I'd consider it. I am motivated by what is deemed attractive in our society, like everyone else, right? How many of us are willing to go out and look like something that society deems to be ugly? Right now, people with bald heads are stared at, so under those circumstances I wouldn't want all the negative attention.

Back to male body shaving ... society does NOT think that men with body hair are ugly. If it were considered ugly, then I wouldn't blame a guy if he was unwilling to grow his body hair just to please his SO. He wouldn't want to be made a laughing stock.

Do you see the disparity in both those arguments?

So maybe a better analogy would be if my SO wanted me to wear my hair in a way that IS socially acceptable for women, but opposite of the way I wear it now, which is a pixie cut. And the answer is yes, I would definitely consider it, in fact I did have my hair cut quite short for a large part of my adult life.

[RADER]

My Wife who I loved and respected, loved the hair on my chest.
I have quite abet of it.
Even in bed, with me wearing a bra, she would run her hands through it.
Out of respect to her, I still do not shave even with her passing.
Rader

[Nadine Spirit]

society does NOT think that men with body hair are ugly.

I have never heard of any male with back hair being described as good looking, but then again I am a guy, and married, and most women don't talk to me about what they find attractive.

My point is still the same. If it is your body, you should be free to do with it as you will. If you want do what your partner finds attractive, that is your choice, but you should be allowed to choose.

[ReineD]

If you want do what your partner finds attractive, that is your choice, but you should be allowed to choose.

Yes, I'll agree with you 100% there!

[Cheryl T]

I shaved completely about 10 years ago and won't go back to being hairy.
My wife doesn't mind and after we took a "girl's only" vacation a few years ago she even suggested that I might want to consider laser for my face as she saw how much trouble shaving each day was.

[Beverley Sims]

I think God looks after mine, it is a form of revenge.

[Alice B]

There re three people. Me, myself and I. Have no problems from my wife. She kidded me at first, but is now used to me being totally shaved and carries on a normal conversation with me when in the bathroom and watching me shave.

[Jenniferathome]

I'm with you Nadine. My wife prefers that I have leg hair and prefers that I let the hair on my head grow a little longer. I prefer a buzz cut on my head because it's easy t manage and I prefer no leg hair for a multitude of reasons, cross dressing being only a small factor. I respect my wife's preferences but it is only that, a preference. Not fighting material.

[Kate Simmons]

All I know is that on myself hair grows in places I don't want it to and not on places I want it to. Therefore, by default, I feel I'm in charge of what hair I want and don't want. Works for me.

[alwayshave]

My fiancee likes me to have chest hair. It has nothing to do with her disliking my crossdressing, she just liked chest hair. When I had it, she would run her fingers through it for hours. That being said it has been a few years since I have had any body hair.

[Princess Grandpa]

Some time back, long before I came to understand I was a cross dresser I surprised my wife. I shaved my bikini region thinking, she does it for me, I should repay the favor. She hated it! Wouldn't come near me until it grew back out. Sure it was my choice. I could have continued shaving, but at what cost. Fortunately it was done for her so I didn't mind letting it grow back.

Last year last year when we came to understand my need, hair removal was going to be off the table. It didn't really last that way. As my dressing progressed we both found a desire for me to be clean shaven. First went the beard, then the legs. At this point if I suddenly got over my desire to dress I would still remain clean shaven. We both prefer it that way.

Hug
Rita

[mechamoose]

I have always been furry, and my keeping my fur is one of the few 'lines' my wife has drawn. When I met her, she had hair half way down her back... and I had short hair and a rat-tail that went past my waist. Years later she started wearing it neck length. I hated it, but it was her hair and her appearance, so I let it go.

I know that I mentioned over the course of time that I liked how she looked with long hair... and she started growing it for me. She has long hair now.. because of my likes.

When doing a lot of cycling, I tended to get it *really* short. But she has mentioned more than once that she wished I had long hair (Think Mel Gibson in 'Braveheart') So, I have started to grow it out.

So out of respect for her 'likes', I keep my fur, even though I'm intensely curious what I would look like fully made up.

So to answer the original question, We share control of each other's hair.

- MM

[shawnsheila]

My wife is not very fond of me shaving / waxing but I love the feel of being smooth. But I still shave and wax when I feel in the girly mood. I got my beared lasered off and am workig on the chest / stomach hair for laser removal now too.

[Marcelle]

Ah the body hair conundrum. My wife and I talked about this at length when I came out last year. With the exception of a few times when access to shaving was not possible, I have always been smooth but genetically I am a furry guy. My wife asked did I wax and shave because of CDing and I responded no. I always kept smooth as I used to engage in MMA style fighting and body hair is a major hindrance. That being said, the times I was furry, she did not mind nor does she mind me smooth. So I guess in response to your question, I am in charge of my body hair. However, if my wife suddenly came out and said I wish you would let your body hair grow out I would have to ask her why? I doubt it would be a show stopper if I said "no way" as our relationship has weathered a lot of issues and body hair is minimal in comparison to some of the real issues we have faced.

Hugs

Isha

[Tanya+]

Given that my wife makes few demands on me, i would love to give her what she wants, maybe not all the time, but i wouldn't begrudge something that made me more attractive to her. I am still quite shy about my smooth skin, waiting for winter to come properly so i can take it all off, so far she likes it.

But i take your point, if i was told in a bossy way, i might not respond quite so positively.

Seriously though, i wish my wife did have a fetish for something that i could give her, just so i could reward her patient understanding and love.

[Lynn Marie]

My ex had me pretty well domesticated. Wives are fabulous for making families and having kids. Girlfriends are a much better deal for older gentlemen with cool cars and two wardrobes! They don't make "demands", and if they do, moving on is so much easier to do. Don't let anybody "own" you.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Reine, Your in the wrong county, over here we have a lot of men who shave thier heads we dont look at them any different than any one else many i know are shaved, no big deal.

some reasons are because they have hair issues of male baldness so what looks better an unkeeped or army style short back and sides or shaved , I did our sons hair when they were army .

My self 40 years ago i should have done my legs, as i rode our horse's a lot, and when i told Jos she said i should have, no drama there,

Plus my body hair is about 8 % and none up top. yes a bit strange for a woman maybe, some i know who have had cemo lost all thier hair, and a few asked if i had had cemo. answer was no .

For myself no hair no headaches and no wigs only for our Edwardian group other wise no way,

...noeleena...

[GingerLeigh]

Hairless IS better. I haven't had to replace my deodorant stick for over 7 months now. The dry air in the winter causing static cling of leg hair....yuck! I see some hairy dudes out there and think how ugly it really is. However since it is predominantly women that shave, any man that does it automatically enters the "suspicion" category. It's not about what's practical, it's about what people perceive to be your reasons for doing it. You are right of course. It is your body so do what you want. Just understand that some people will think you're gay or a crossdress. I do it anyway since I no longer care as much.