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Thread: Gender and Perception

  1. #26
    Member LenGray's Avatar
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    I definitely feel like I lucked out in the way I was raised I've been told that I'm quite old-fashioned though lol Sometimes, it feels like I was raised in a different world though ^_^;

  2. #27
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    So Saralen, your writing skills are highly commendable, especially for one so young. Seems like for the past 15 years or so, the 3 Rs have been relegated to" options" for "kids" at all levels of education. Even most "adults" today have very poor writing skills and some of the emails and memos I see circulated at work look like they could have been written by a 10 yo. Did you take writing courses or does some elementary school teacher who loved English beyond all other subjects get the credit? Is your dad a writer of some sort by chance?

  3. #28
    Member LenGray's Avatar
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    My mom and dad both taught me how to write and since I was a voracious reader as a kid, it just came naturally, I guess? I did have some wonderful English teachers but I've loved to read and write ever since I was little. I'm actually trying to become a published author

    I also think that my hatred for texting helps quite a bit ;p

  4. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by LenGray View Post
    I also think that my hatred for texting helps quite a bit ;p
    Proof you were never really a teenage girl! (I kid, I kid...)

  5. #30
    Member LenGray's Avatar
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    Hahaha, certainly seems that way these days, doesn't it? I had to explain to some kids the other day how to tell directions from the suns' position. Apparently, they couldn't figure out that the sun rises in the east without MapQuest -_-;

  6. #31
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Finding direction...? In the northern hemisphere, at our latitude, if you have an old-fashioned wristwatch, point the hour hand at the sun (never easy in our cloud-infested country) and south will be 12 noon... Easy... unless you have a digital watch... But I digress...

    I hope you don't mind anyone else joining this thread - I find it's touching on that fascinating interaction between who we are innately and how we come to be defined sociologically and societally (which is not necessarily the same as nurture, I feel..) I hasten to add these are all my own jumbled meanderings of an entirely amateur individual, but at least one who is afflicted with an absurd need to sometimes present as another gender and so can claim some intimate knowledge at least through that.

    I do believe that the root cause of our GD is something that operates at the biological or genetic level and it is this that underpins the development of us folk who are TG/TS. This discussion has predominantly featured three - what I chose to term - 'Primes' in our TG world. For me, a Prime (a form of absolute) is someone who has no uncertainty about their gender, even though that may be in conflict with their physical sex. So, neither Len, Paula, nor Reine have any uncertainty about their gender... you lucky people (in one way..).

    Myself - and others spread across this TG multidimensional mosaic - well, we're somewhere in between... and it's how that middle ground is so stigmatised that interests me. And that, I believe, is sociological, because society - for us in western culture - is a consensual but arbitrary framework that is influenced by all sorts of inputs and which defines, by and large, what is acceptable and unacceptable, behaviour, values, standards, ethics and to some extent, fashions, dress and by extension, presentation (as to which gender we present).

    It's a bit of a long-winded way to agree with most here, even if there might be some differences in the extent of how much nature versus nurture plays into this. My personal feeling is that this is predominantly nature - not entirely - but predominantly. I also think that what may appear to be nurture-based inputs are possibly the way that society messes with us and interacts... by that I mean, the examples of upbringing are themselves influenced by the mores and constraints of society. Most parents bring their children up with a view to getting them into the neat categories that society favours, if not demands... Who would want to do otherwise? Perhaps it's only the past 50-60 years or so that have seen such a liberalisation of attitudes towards alternative lifestyles that have allowed individuals to be more true to themselves and how they feel. Is it that period also that has allowed more of us to be more public about what we desire to do rather than keeping it firmly behind closed doors? It has definitively been the period when feminism has blossomed and females have had more success in making inroads to historically male pursuits - has this flexing in society also served the TG community? Yes - but not to the same extent - because we're still weird in that we don't fit into the categories that are accepted more by society and those categories (however much we may dislike labels, they are a part of what makes society function) are a result of historical development over centuries and decades and are enshrined in the things that enable society to work: legislation, institutions, roles, mores... all serve to maintain a structure for society and that must play a part in why we're stigmatised - because we don't easily fit!

    All a bit waffly perhaps - but it isn't enough for us to know who we are, and know what we should be, and believe that it's alright... A significant part of the rest of society has to accept that those differences we demonstrate are real and valid before we can become more unconflicted about our roles.

    I think that all makes sense - to me, somewhat, anyway...

    Short answer: I think it's about 3-1 to nature over nurture... fundamentally we're freaks - we just have a ways to go to convince everyone we're gifted freaks..

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  7. #32
    Member LenGray's Avatar
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    It's good to hear from you, Katey!

    Haha, I can tell at a glance at the sky what time it is, pretty much. My mom had a horrible time teaching me how to read a clock but I caught on to reading the sky quick as could be. I still have problems with clocks occasionally...But to get back on topic

    I don't really feel as though I am a Prime, as you put it. Although I feel that I'm not comfortable with being a woman, I'm still not sure how far that feeling goes or what actions I'll take because of it. While it's true that I don't feel much conflict about being atypical in the eyes of society, I suspect that that's because, for me, it's simple problem solving like A+B=C. A)Who I am doesn't equal my own or society's view of women. B)What I feel and how I feel it aren't commonly accepted among men or women as being par for being a female. C)Therefore, I am either going to have to hide that I am female, become male, or become someone who is neither male or female, or who is both in order to live the life I want.

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