Does your mind's eye picture...

[CarlaWestin]

....match your true self?

When you picture yourself crossdressed, is it more than you can actually achieve in reality? I always picture myself as younger and sexier but rarely achieve anything close to it. I'm passable from a distance and my pictures come out very convincing but, on close inspection, I'm just not passable 100%.

So, how do you measure up to your expectations?

[Diana81]

Well, it was the opposite for me! I had spent so many years thinking I would look horrible and I had nothing girly in me, physically. Turns out I found myself much much better than I had expected, so despite never feeling like I'm 100% fine (I would need to do the transition for that), I actually feel much better than I thought I would.

So, to answer your question, in my particular case I'm trying to figure out what my expectations are. For being a crossdresser, no hormones, no surgery, no anything, well, I'm happy about myself. The thing is finding out if that is me, if I will be able to live a happy life as one.

[Marcelle]

Hi Carla,

When I first dressed my only reference was when I dressed complete "en femme" 32 years ago. I was much younger (17) and made quite a pretty girl (smoother skin, next to nothing for facial hair, my own hair). Move 32 years in the future and well let's just say time has not been kind. Oh I can blend from a distance but I never survive first contact on close inspection. However, I am fine with that as I know I am not fooling anyone. So, do I measure up to my expectations? Compared to 32 years ago . . . not a chance but, I am still happy being me.

Hugs

Isha

[Alice Joyce]

Hello Carla,
From your pic, you look very attractive to me. As for me, my minds eye plays tricks on me. From a distance in the mirror I look OK....Just OK. When I am dressed up and ready to put on my makeup, looking in the mirror I think......My Goodness I am never going to pull this off, don`t think I make a pretty lady or pass as a lady. Then at other times I think Oh Alice you look quite nice today. I wonder if this is what happens to women and is part of the reason they can take forever to "get ready" I do not mind the time woman take, I would just like to LIKE the end result when I look in the mirror. Maybe then I would go out during the day. To date I have only gone out as Alice, clothes, makeup and all during the night. Warm Thoughts. Alice.

[Anna H]

I'm still not sure myself. It seems all my pictures look like a different "me".

I have just a tiny office with no windows. Bad lighting. Very little space so
I need to use a mirror still. The pictures look different each time.

(I'm building an area that should make pictures work better)

I'm thinking I could be fairly OK myself, but my wife says I'm still very noticeably
a guy. What I see in the mirror and what the pictures tell me seems to be
two different things.

I'm in reasonable condition for 57 I think. So, I'm still trying to figure it all out.

I won't get "passable", but hopefully "sneak-by-able" :P

[Kate Simmons]

I don't really think about it normally. Seems to work well if the feedback I get from beholders is accurate.

[Alice Joyce]

Hello Diana
I wanted to run this by you. I feel OK, not fantastic, just OK about how I come across as Alice. Please know I am happy and love being Alice. I do need to improve some areas, like hair removal from my arms and legs.....Makeup......mannerisms......how I talk and so on. Of late I have been thinking about hormones and the like, I think I would like to be more of a woman FULL TIME. I don`t say this light heartedly. I know that this can not be done at this stage of my life as it would upset those close to me. I`ll just keep thinking about it and whilst doing so TRY to make a better lady of myself. Warm Thoughts. Alice

[Jilmac]

I never really set high expectations for myself so it's fairly easy to achieve the femme persona and still be passable at a distance. Even after a complete makeover in which I actually look feminine, my baritone voice is a dead giveaway that I'm a guy in disguise. At my age I live with the contentment of being Jill, and not worrying whether I'm read as a fake.

[Angie G]

I could not even hope to reach my any near being passable. I'm just sa happy knowing I a beautiful lady in my mind. But in real life I'm just a 66 year old man in a dress.
Angie

[Adriana Moretti]

I think we are all our own worst critics......thats why sometimes its good to blurr the lines a little bit

[Stacy Lyn]

In my minds eye I'm near passable but in reality not even close I'm affraid, doesn't stop my from trying however.
Always be a man in a frock, but I'm okay with that.

[ArleneRaquel]

I have very low expectations, but I surprise myself as time goes on I seem to get more compliments and whistles/honks. I do not consider myself very passable, except at a distance. No matter what I love living as a woman compliments or hisses.

[Beverley Sims]

Carla,
A lot of it is in the minds eye, I am over critical of myself but I attract little attention and get no comments.
So I must look "alright"
That's the best I can describe it.

The blonde bombshell departed years ago.

[ophelia]

It really is a journey and learning experience. I used to be happy doing my own makeup. I am sure many people saw a man in a dress, but I was just as sure that no one was be able to identify exactly which man was in that hair and makeup. I walked right past several people who really should have recognised me. But I've given up on doing my own makeup. Here's why:
I gave up dressing in public for a long time, but the urge and opportunity to dress came back. So a couple of years ago I paid some big bucks to a top rated makeup artist/hairdressing team in Kingston Ontario just to see what was still possible. And frankly I was amazed at how beautiful I looked. There is no way on earth I have the time to devote to practice to arrive at that level of artistry by my own hand. When I try to do my own makeup and hair I think I just look stupid.
I don't know what that says to everyone. Maybe just be careful what you wish for.

[Nikki50/50]

Only when my wife does my make-up. For some reason, I just haven't gotten the hang of it. Something about the foundation ratio and areas covered eludes me. lol

[Felicia Dee]

This is a really interesting question... I used to have a high idea of how I wanted to look and could never live up to it -- not without some serious surgery (lol), which was kind of a buzzkill, y'know? But lately -- in my "re-branding," I have been almost shocked by my reflection. Not that I'm a super vain grrl mind you, I'm just ... more realistic? Or maybe It's just because I'm older and have a better sense of what I think "girl" is..?

[noeleena]

Hi,

From age 10 i knew i did not like how i looked and 56 years later as of now im no different ,I used my wig to show less of my face, for 11 years, got sick of that used little makeup and never thought id look like a female let alone being a woman,

i knew i had disadvantages what others see of myself is over looked and thankfully for that, as i'd have a very hard time of being what i am , a bloody misfit at best. People have been kind towards me as a person and have given an exceptance i never expected or thought ever possibale ,

Though im female does not say we all have at the very least some femaleness about us as to how i look ,

i hate these B....y ?'s because they do get to me , yet its what i have to face up to so i answer them. i know my failings and its just how it is,
So to get around it ill use my advantages, i dont think ill ever over come them so i'll just skirt around my issues, and really thats all i can do.

And really its not all a down ward spiral there have been some lovely things come out of it so it has been rewarding in other ways,

...noeleena...

[Katey888]

Intriguing question, Carla - deeply philosophical or introspectively shallow..? But I know what you mean...

Without wishing to offend, but perhaps inadvertently doing so to a few, even those gals here that are very experienced in getting into the real world and who appear extremely convincing, are, guys underneath... I don't think we should get hung up on this aspect...

If/ when I ever go out, the rest of the real world are just going to have to find a way to live with it - I know by that time I'll have to be happy with myself, so in my mind I'll be fine...



Katey x

[AprilMayy<3]

Oh my god no when I envision myself dressed I usually have shaved legs, which I can't do as of yet. So most of my outfits I plan in my head that involve short shorts or a skirt usually end up with me wearing leggings due to me not being able to shave my legs. Don't get me wrong though I LOVE leggings, just it would be nice to take pictures in a skirt with them not on hahaha

[Lynn Marie]

So, how do you measure up to your expectations?

Very simple, I just keep my expectations low. That way I'm rarely disappointed!

[stephNE]

Yes, I have an image of a much younger me.
Who is that old woman in the mirror?

[hollybunches]

a nice smile can make CDs look 100% more passable

[Robbin_Sinclair]

I could not even hope to reach my any near being passable. I'm just sa happy knowing I a beautiful lady in my mind. But in real life I'm just a 66 year old man in a dress.Angie

I'm in the same boat.

Eighteen months ago, I just assumed I could be passable, if I really really wanted to be. The more I tried the more it became clear to me that this was just ridiculous.

Now, goal is to be happy, accepting my age as part of it. I want to remain alive and healthy for a long time, incorporating my en fem at home when appropriate. If I travel, I will try go out with other girls but I can't be preoccupied with passing.

100% passable just ain't in my future, no matter how I try to walk and talk. And, much of that would be acting. I'm trying to grow out of that in my addiction-free and spiritually-equipped life.

Funny, Angie uses the emoticon, just as I always do.

[Hell on Heels]

I never had expectations, I strive to do the best that I possibly can, look in the mirror and am usually fairly pleased.
But then.......I get the camera out, start with the photos, some are good, most not so much, WTF! So what is it? Is my mind playing tricks on me when I look in the mirror, or do I need to send the camera in for service?
Passable, no, Having fun and happy, yes.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[darla_g]

No my mind's eye is realistic about my limitation. I think its all about learning makeup techniques, finding the right hair , body shaping. etc to make it all work.