Noticeable?

[Kate Simmons]

A lot of folks here will say they want to dress to "blend" or fit in so they aren't noticed by others in crowds, etc. Personally, I'm wondering what the point of dressing like a woman is if you are not noticed. It's almost like saying you want to hide in plain sight which I fail to see the point in. Must be some kind of self satisfaction saying "I pulled it off" or "If they only knew". What if they did know, what then? What are some afraid of really? It is what it is the way I look at it. Unless someone else is paying my salary I could care less what they think.

[Krisi]

I'm having a hard time figuring out the point of your post. You start with "Personally, I'm wondering what the point of dressing like a woman is if you are not noticed. " and you end with "Unless someone else is paying my salary I could care less what they think."

I'll answer the first part. When I go out dressed, I want to be seen as a normal woman my age, dressed appropriatey for the time and place. I don't want to be "noticed" any more than my wife would want to be noticed in public. I don't want to be noticed for wearing six inch heels to the mall or a too short for my age miniskirt. I want to experience life as a woman for the day.

Why? I don't know and I don't think any of us know why we are compelled to get up in the morning and srap on a pair of boobs. Shrinks make a lot of money off us but we still don't have the answers. And if we knew why, would we stop doing it?

[Sarasometimes]

Nicely put Krisi.

I'd also like to add that if we could go virtually unnoticed by others despite our public crossdressing, than that would mean we belong or that we aren't an attraction getting member of society. Makes clear sense to me.

The only other part of blending and going unnoticed that I hope for, is an effort to avoid the male eye. The last thing I need is some guy misreading me and getting upset.

[Katey888]

Kate, I think this time - unusually - you've got cart before horse...

Folks don't 'want to dress to "blend"' - the underlying drive is a need to express their feminine side and part of this is dressing and going out... Of those that do this, some choose to 'blend' in order simply not to draw attention to themselves - the path of least resistance (and hassle, potentially...)

Their desire and need for expression and validation is satisfied by being out, respectfully, as a female. They don't need to wear anything unusual or outlandish to satisfy their own drive.

Not everyone is like this, as you know - but an aspect of not blending, in any type of clothes, is no different to punks, goths, emos whoever... who do want to express not just their affiliation with a group, but also want to be proactively noticeable for how they are dressed, tattooed, pierced... whatever. It's just a different level of expression... imho...

I can imagine being out and just the positive feeling of validation in being able to walk around, do some things and not be noticed would be a satisfying and harmonious feeling... That would be enough for me...

Katey x

[Kate Simmons]

I'm not talking about dressing outlandishly, just normally. My point is when most women go out, even dressed normally, they want to look at least presentable and may use a little bit of makeup even if they don't do it to be noticed per se. As such, as women they can't helped but be noticed by others when mingling. I just don't get it when people say they want to blend when they are going to be noticed anyway if they are or look like a woman. Besides when I post something it's for discussion and you don't have to necessarily agree with me.

[samantha rogers]

I would think there is a big difference between just blending, and blending but doing so in as attractive and well put together (for the time and place) a manner as possible. The idea, I am guessing, is to blend simply not to be read. There is a difference between blending and being dowdy...isn't there?

[Zylia]

Oh you actually COULD care less? So how much do you really care? This "couldn't care less" thing is not a very helpful attitude for everybody, I think you really should care at least a little about what other people think of you, but I couldn't care less if you decide otherwise of course.

Anyway, blending in and getting noticed by at least some people are not mutually exclusive.

[SherriePall]

Kate -- I always dress nicely as though I work in some high class office setting. In fact, I even made a little badge that clips to my coat or top when I'm out. Kind of justifies my appearance (skirt, heels, nice top, and make-up) even when I'm shopping someplace where most of the other women are in jeans or (shutter... jogging pants).
Hey, if I then get noticed, hopefully, it will be in a good way. So far, so good on my outings.

[Joanne f]

Hello Kate ,
personally I am not an attention seeker i do not want to be noticed by people as they will soon figure out what i am and that may do me more harm than good but I do understand that there are some who will pass very well and enjoy the thrill of that it is just not for me though , my reason for dressing as a female is because I believe that I am one not to get chase by someone ,I am a shy person I simply do not like attention coming my way .

[Cindy J Angel]

I go out quite a lot during the day. and yes I dress to blend as in what I'm doing for the day. Schedules shopping to be i will be in casual attire. If I'm going to workout then u get it. But I went to be noticed just like if a woman dose. And if u dont think thay do think agen. So I do work on looking as good as I can.

[Sarasometimes]

Kate, I think the permission to disagree is implied, but thanks for clearing that up.

To each his/her own. We shouldn't expect others to behave as we think they should as long as their behavior isn't hurtful.

I like blending, others may want more attention, that's fine with me.

[NicoleScott]

I'm wondering what the point of dressing like a woman is if you are not noticed.

Kate, are you aware that many CDers like to make up and dress but stay home (and not get noticed)? So, there must be something behind the drive to crossdress other than getting noticed.
There are differences among us. Some derive great satisfaction from going out en femme and not getting noticed. Others like to be noticed, and derive great satisfaction when they are.

[Nadine Spirit]

I don't care if I get noticed, I assume that is going to happen. But when I discuss dressing to blend, I don't care to stick out like a sore thumb. I prefer to look like any other woman going about her business. I am not out there for shock value, or to hook up, or to be the superstar. I just want to get out, be me, however I choose to dress, and live my life.

[Stephanie47]

I'll agree with Nicole. I like to stay home totally en femme. I have no burning desire to get out and engage the public. I don't know why I cross dress. I have gone out en femme without engaging the public. When I do I am tastefully attired in a dress and heels. My outfit blends. My masculine frame and features do not blend. I dress for the serenity it brings me. When out I really do not want the peace and serenity to be broken by not blending.

Do women want to stand out? Sure! But not all the time. If a woman is trying to attract attention, I'm sure the woman dresses to accomplish that feat. And, I sure the woman dresses for the venue. Is you're going to a square dancing bar, a formal gown is out. If you're going to a black tie formal, then a square dancing outfit is out.

As a people watcher at the mall or maybe a cross dresser watching what women wear, my eyes are always looking for tastefully attired women. I love it when a woman has a dress on. Does she blend? No. Seeing a woman in a dress is such a rarity these days, she attracts attention.

Forgetting my masculine frame and features, if I were to go to a mall wearing a pretty dress I would not blend and would attract attention. If I wanted to blend or not be noticed at all, then I would wear some co-opted masculine style clothes called pants or jeans. That's hiding in plain sight.

So, I'll stay home, get dolled up in a dress, heels, and all the wonderful undergarments and have a leisurely day.

[Jenniferathome]

"Noticeable" has a range of meanings. There is "noticed good" and "noticed bad." I am not hiding when I am out, I simply want to dress for the occasion. To me, one is noticed when one dresses like a street walker or teenager, or whatever. You don't wear a LBD and heels to the grocery store. Certainly a woman CAN do that, but she NEVER does. Anyone would be NOTICED in that scenario. Same with micro-mini skirts or mini-dresses on a Tuesday at lunch time in the mall.

So for your purposes of this meaning, I do want to be noticed "good" as a typical, appropriately attired woman of my age. This does not involve double takes and looks of horror.

[Beverley Sims]

I do go dressed to impress to parties and functions where I can play up, but in the real world I do play mu role down a little.

[Cheryl T]

I like to "blend in" simply because I'm happy being an average woman. I'm not trying to be a starlet or a VS model (though I wish I could...lol).
It's not about not being noticed, it's about being a part of society and being accepted. I'm not about to go to the mall, remove my coat and prance about like a Vegas showgirl just to be noticed. I just want to go about my business. How I present is how I feel. It's not about being noticed, it's about participating in the world as a woman.
I dress for me not for the world. My clothing is notification enough for everyone else to see how I feel and who I am. I have no need to be "in your face" about it.

[Alexis.j]

I think it is rather the "blending in" as passing as a GG, than standing out as a guy in a dress. I would love to pass as an attractive, sexy woman, but would rather just pass as a normal everyday woman.
Getting extra attention = more eyes on you, looking for faults...

[Debra Russell]

I just want to "look the part" - and be noticed as part of the herd (there's always one who stands out in the crowd)...................Debra

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kate, It's like hiding in plane sight.

[carhill2mn]

I, like many who have responded here, do not want to attract attention for the wrong reasons. When I am out in public I am usually among the more nicely dressed and made-up women but I am not dressed in such a manner as to be stared at. Recently a woman commented to me about how nice I looked whenever she saw me.
I certainly do not want to be seen as a "man in a dress"!

I disagree with your statement about how most women want to look "at least presentable". IMHO, there are more women who care very little about how they look than there are those who do take some pride in how they look. A quick trip to a mall or a Walmart will show you what I mean. Of course, my eyes are drawn toward the more nicely appearing ones!

I think that "blending in" means that one is dressed appropriately for the occasion and your age; ie, no 5" heels and miniskirts with lots of makeup to go grocery shopping if you are over 60 years old!

[Jenniferathome]

...
I think that "blending in" means that one is dressed appropriately for the occasion and your age; ie, no 5" heels and miniskirts with lots of makeup to go grocery shopping if you are over 60 years old!

Oh Carole, prepare to be vilified by the "I can dress any way I want crowd", followed by the "there are no age rules for being dressed" club. Despite the fact that you are absolutely correct.

[MonikaTirola]

Kate, the point is to blend in AS a GG and not to stick out as a "guy in a dress".

Once that is achieved (no small task) it is up to the individual girl with or without Y chromosome how much attention she wants to get.

But without blending/passing first the attention is just of the wrong kind.

I hope that explains it better

[Kate Simmons]

Such a variety of responses which is great. This just proves that we all do what we do for different reasons and are all individuals and not cardboard "cut outs". This helps others to get to know us.

[MsVal]

For a number of reasons I have never been out of my home, dressed. If/when I do, it will not be because I want to present as a woman, though presenting as a woman would be very important.

It would be because I have thing to do outside the home and coincidentally, I chose a feminine style that morning. E.g. I felt like wearing feminine garments in the morning and discovered later in the day that I need to get some bread and milk. I would like to simply grab the purse and keys, then go to the store.

Best wishes
MsVal