Do you wish to be a full transexual ?

[CarlaWestin]

Do you wish to be a full transexual ?
Seriously? I'd be comfortable with only being 33% transexual. Does this comment imply that CDing is some kind of temporary fix for that yearning to be female totally.

Are you Only CD because you are afraid to do the whole process ? or are you good this way ?
I mean - don't mant of the CD's wish to have real Breasts... to look like real women... and don't do this because of the family or not have the guts to "go all the way"?
or you like being man part of the day... and don't FEEL you should have been born as women ?

You're questioning has tones that suggest the transitioning process is like being dared to get a tattoo.
Since you've joined back in July yet waited until now to post, you've certainly had enough time to read the thousands of informative posts that clearly illustrate the differences and subtleties of this multi faceted world of gender expression.
And, exactly which "part of the day" is man o'clock?

[I Am Paula]

It seems that there is still mis information here from some very long time members. If you are TS, you were born TS. Anything in between was denial. You cannot be a cross dresser who may someday, maybe, if karma is good, perhaps, transition. It is a driving force so great you will be willing to lose everything you have ever had to quiet the dysphoria.
The time to transition is when not transitioning becomes scarier than transitioning.
Daydreaming about transition is just that...daydreaming.

[natcrys]

Oooh boy! Of all the things you could ask in a first post in the "MtF CD-ing" section of the forum.. you basically ask whether some of us are too chicken to "proceed" to the TS-part?

I would be inclined to just chalk such a question (and its tone with its implications) up to ignorance, naiveté and insensitivity... but seriously, you've been here almost a year. If you had read some of the posts.. you'd probably have learned already what others already have said in this thread.

You use the word "process" as if there is a logical one-dimensional point-by-point timeline (technically two-dimensional because spacetime 'n stuff.. but let's not get all relativistic just yet ).

But as you hopefully have figured out.. the world is much more complex. Think about the letters in LGBTQ.. then realise each letter represents a myriad of different subgroups which may or may not be related. And I haven't even started yet about possible connections between subgroups of different letters.

Anyway, the essence of your question.. how CD and TS are related.. that's (IMHO) okay to ask. Don't expect a clear answer, but the discussion will almost always yield great insights.

I just object to the part where you imply that CD's have no guts.

[Confucius]

Personally I just think of myself as a man who likes the sensations and comfort from wearing women's clothing. I refuse to adopt a female name. I like being a husband and a father. I like the male virtues of showing leadership, strength, and the way females depend on us to fix things. When females face a problem they want to talk about it, and when men face a problem they want to fix it. That said, I have an attraction to female virtues too. They have a sense of "pretty" that is totally lacking in men. Females show greater empathy and compassion, and sensitivity. I think I grew up as a sensitive boy and that I was attracted to pretty things. So I will continue being who I am, and give a great big NO to transsexualism.

[alwayshave]

I like all my parts where they are and in their current configuration. I love women's clothes, makeup, shoes and jewelery and presenting as women. I also feel comfortable wearing them. But that's it.

[Angie G]

Because some one dresses as a woman does not mean he of she wishes to be full on the sex. I have thought how nice it would be but it will never happen and it has nothing to do with fear. It does have to do with who I am. A husband a father a grandfather a man with some man needs.I do love dressing and would stay dressed 24/7 if it was possible it's not and I'm good with that.
Angie

[MissTee]

No, transition is not something I want to do. I revel in my duality.

[ClaireCole]

I don't think I'd ever want to transition completely, I'm pretty cool with being a dude. I would like to be slightly more feminine, and boobs would be great when I needed them, but thats obviously not an option. No, I like being a bit of both.

[Tracii G]

I think the OP'er was just trolling seeing as she has not been back.
She has the misconception that if you CD you must be a TS.Its a common view held by people that have no clue what they are talking about.

[steph1964]

Nobody in their right mind would want to be a transsexual. A better question is "are you really a woman or a man." Being stuck in the wrong body sucks.

I agree with Paula, I thought that I was a crossdresser but the crossdressing didn't help, in fact it just made the dysphoria worse. I didn't transition until I was suicidal and had been hospitalized twice for stroke symptoms (likely due to stress). I had the successful American dream with loving family, nice house, successful career, and I was terrified about throwing everything away. But in the end it was live in my correct gender or probably not live.

Many crossdressers fantasize about transitioning, and there are definitely transsexuals who are trying to convince themselves that they are crossdressers, but not transitioning because we are afraid isn't an option. I was terrified about loosing everything but had to transition anyway.

[sometimes_miss]

I think that one of the big misconceptions is that a lot of people think that wanting to be female, and wanting to be a female transsexual are the same thing. They are not. Many, many crossdressers idealize the life of a woman. They don't see any of the difficulties, and/or think the problems of a woman would be easy to deal with in comparison to the wonderful experience of being pretty and 'getting to experience everything a woman does'. Those same crossdressers minimize the problems of being a mtf transsexual. They really, really want to believe that if they could just complete the process, that they'd get to live as a normal pretty woman, when that's not usually the case at all. Most of us make homely women. MOST OF US; that means about oh, 95%. A lot of fooling ourselves goes on on this forum and others, about how pretty we are when we post pictures, how passable we MUST be because we are comparing ourselves with each other on a two dimensional scale. And yes, if we could magically become a pretty young woman, many of us could accept all the rest of the problems that a normal woman faces day to day. But at some point, the closer one gets to starting transitioning, the more reality starts to sink in, and we have to face the fact that we're just trading in being a borderline looking guy to becoming a homely middle aged woman. And that's not what 99% of the guys here want at all. The second part is, those who are still heterosexual will have to admit that there are NO WOMEN INTERESTED IN MTF TRANSSEXUALS. NONE. ZERO. Even less women than are interested in crossdressers, and that number is miniscule already, so any guy who wants to transition with the dreams of having a female partner can just watch that particular fantasy evaporate completely. The odds are about the same as winning the lottery. Then you have the group who are repressing homosexuality and have dreams of becoming a beautiful woman, marrying a nice man and being a lovely woman/wife. Not going to happen either. Men who are interested in MTF transexuals are predominantly not thinking about marriage, they're interested in sex, not relationships. Relationships are a woman's domain and pursuit, not usually the desire of men who are interested in out of the ordinary sexual partnerships, especially ones where most of the world will know he's not quite 'straight'. So while some may fool themselves into thinking they're the one who will beat the odds, most eventually face reality and just live our lives the best we can. We dream the dream, but acknowledge that's all it can be.

Edit. I had this thread going round in my head for a while, and the end thought is this: If, when I was a young teen, I had the body frame (much shorter), hands and feet (much smaller) and the science at that time was mature, I probably would have transitioned much the same as Kim Petras did, because at that age, EVERYTHING sort of supported the concept that I was really supposed to be a girl, rather than the really, really unmasculine boy that I was; after all, I had even been told that god made a mistake, and that I was really supposed to be a girl, and I saw no evidence to contradict that. But we have to deal with reality. Even though I was slim, the hands and feet were already huge by the time I was 13, and in those days, there was NO support system in place for transgendered people that was easily accessible such as the online system today. I was on my own, the only TS person I had ever heard of was Christine Jorgensen. It simply was not a time when something like that was going to happen, and it was certainly not going to happen for me. Very often, we are all just stuck with accepting the life we have and do the best we can, with the situation we are stuck with, because there's really no way to fix it; some things, and minds, are broken beyond repair, so we just duct tape them up, and move on, and hope for the best. I'm reasonable healthy, live comfortably, have two wardrobes and can pick and choose what I want to eat, or do, and just about any moment. Life may not be exactly what I want, but it ain't half bad either. And on that note, I'm going to take a drive in my expensive sports car, and go to a great diner and have a really nice breakfast.

Edit, Edit....One other thing; one of my lesbian friends keeps reminding me....as a guy, I have access to millions of wonderful, pretty, straight women that she does not. So there's an upside to being a guy after all.

[mechamoose]

While I would love to wake up as a girl, I don't believe my body type would allow me to even 'fake it'.

And if I did, I'm sure I'd long for the beast that wasn't there anymore.

Be who you are. Find a way to make peace with that!

<3

- MM

[Lorileah]

Nobody in their right mind would want to be a transsexual.

well that explains a lot about me. But it is a true statement, it isn't a "want" but it is a "who I am". As with any person who is in a position where someone believes them to be less...why would you choose that? No one chooses to be ostracized or belittled. But I am not upset over who I am. If I didn't want to live my life this way, it would have been easy not to....not pleasant maybe but easy.

"Wants" in my world. I want people to like me, I want people to respect who I am, I want to happy in my life. Some of those wants can be partially fulfilled with becoming the person I should be

[carhill2mn]

I think that you will learn that a majority of the CDs here have no desire to transition and do not feel that they were born in the wrong body. They just enjoy
much of the same things as women do; ie., nice clothes, pretty shoes, jewelry, makeup, etc.

There are large variances among us.

[sometimes_miss]

I think the OP'er was just trolling seeing as she has not been back.
She has the misconception that if you CD you must be a TS.Its a common view held by people that have no clue what they are talking about.

Troll, I don't know. OP joined almost a year ago. Kind of long time to wait to post. May just be a lurker. Lots of people read a lot before they ever post (I was one of them).

[natcrys]

Whatever and whoever Sharonone is.. it's a pity that there is no follow-up post after starting a thread with such an insensitive first-post.

I would really like to know if things have been learned.. because sure.. lurking for a year.. that implies reading what others have posted.

[Tracii G]

I know SM I lurked here for a while myself.
Her first post just felt to me to be demeaning and bordering on the crude side YMMV but thats how I read it.
Standard uninformed questions coming from a person that had been here a while just seemed odd.
Maybe her husband CD's and she doesn't believe his answers to her questions.
It would be nice if she came back and gave us a bit of background of her situation so the members could try to help her.

Perhaps she is a know it all and doesn't want to hear the truth.

[Sarah21]

I would never wish to be a transexual, I don't know what I am for sure but and have struggled all my life trying to deal with so many obstacles.
I always wanted to be a girl growing up, or a woman now. It's not something to wish for, it's something you are born with.

[marsha leanne]

There was a time many years ago that the idea of transition played heavily on my mind. But in looking back, it was far more a dreamstyle fantasy. I am very comfortable being a fairly regular dresser. The idea of crossing over is not that important. i like myself as i am.

[Tracii G]

If I had known when I was in my 20's I deff would have transitioned but at 61 and all the risks involved health wise for me its a no go.
I'm happy to be a TG person and CD when I want to.

[Diana81]

I dream about it. I know I wish I would be brave enough and go for it. I know living as a male has kept me unhappy for 32 years and I don't even want to look at myself at the mirror nowadays. But I have plenty of things to think about before I make a move like that. I fear I might be trying to convince myself at times.

[Michelle789]

No one in their right mind would want to be a transsexual. You either are one or you aren't. Most of us who really are TS try to fight it and try to bargain by trying to be a cross-dresser or to see where we have failed as men. Most of us who are TS take decades to figure it out, and after years of fighting it, we finally come to accept that we are TS and really the gender we identify as which is opposite of our birth sex.

If you're having serious doubts about your gender, a gender specialist can help you to figure it out. Do you identify as male, female, somewhere in between, both, neither, or aren't sure, or maybe something else? Feel free to send me a PM if you want to talk more about this.

I mean - don't mant of the CD's wish to have real Breasts... to look like real women...

and don't FEEL you should have been born as women ?

If you feel you should have been born female or want real breasts, maybe you are a TS and not a CD.

and don't do this because of the family or not have the guts to "go all the way"?

If you are a CD, then you will have no desire to transition and have absolutely no reason to transition. In fact, it would be wrong for a male identified CD to transition, because you're core identity is male, but you like to dress as a woman sometimes.

If you are a TS, then you may need to eventually transition, and most TSes are happy they did transition, because you're core identity is female. Sadly, many TSes deny and repress their true nature for years or decades, and often think they're CD, and may run away from transition because of family obligations. If you are TS, please just don't wait until it's transition or die. Please get the help you need first. Ok.

[NathalieX66]

I have a number of friends who are transsexual, and they would be quite unhappy if they never transitioned. They are like race horses coming out of the starting gate. And the ones I know don't seem to regret a single day of transitioning.

[sharonone]

Hן All,

I wand to clear something up

First of all Many Many thanks to you all !. It's my first post here... and i thought i'll get 2-3 respones... .

I've learned and enwised from many of the responses here !

First i must say something ... English is not my "main" language so i may said some thing incorrectly .. or used to wrong terms.

My question was meant to be like that - and i REALLY REALLY don't mean to offened...it's a geniune question

Does Crossdressing is sufficent for you... or you don't do the whole transition because of fear (of family... work... etc.).

I mean.. as for my self - had i known i was the Steritopical Transgender - that "played with dolls at the age of 4 and wore her mothers' heels" it would be much easier for me to go and declare to the world "i am a female - accept that".

The problem is i really in the middle... i not sure i'm 100% woman. or is it fear that concuring me ? I've last heard of the word genderqueer - is that what i am ?

Many thanks for all the responses you are great.

[spandexgirl188]

Well from my own personal experience at first the idea of being totally passable as a girl was what i shot for. Lets be real, CD'ers use either foam to pad their hips, or silicone to pad their boobs, maybe a corset or a waist cincher to slim their waist to make that illusion of being female. Now, im not judging anyone. if this is what works for them, then thats great. All the more power to them, for me however, the illusion is not enough. I want to be a girl, I want to have a hip size, or a cup size and know its not because of silicone or padded foam around my hips. I want it to be natural and have what GG"s have. I want to be accepted as a girl. My transition started when i was 11 years old, my attraction was because of the way GG's looked in clothes. The shape of their bodies etc. The feeling grew stronger as i got older, i found when i fought the feeling i was more depressed and miserable. So i went with what felt right, and now im living my life as a woman and i couldnt be happier. Again, im not judging anyone on how they do things, nor am i saying that the way i live is what everyone should do. This is just my own personal experience and what's happened in my life.