I thought I was just a fantasy for years. I thought I just was aroused by imagining myself as a woman, and being treated as such by men. It all ended the day I first dressed seriously, then I definitely discovered that arousal had nothing to do with it, and it was just simply that I wanted to be a woman because that was the only way I wasn't acting any longer.
Some pictures of me: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...shoes-at-last!
I used to think my CDing was all just one big fantasy too. I got sexually aroused from CDing for years, from when I was 13 up until recently. Then something happened, my life came to a cross-roads. One where manning up was really starting to hit me in the face like it had never done so before. I have been single all my life, and this psychic that I used to consult was pressuring me into dating and getting married, and that's when the fantasy all collapsed. I started realizing that I not only hate being a man but I want to seriously be a woman and be treated as one, to the point of where I wanted to die and be reincarnated as one in my next life. I fired the psychic, and since then I'm discovering that this is no fantasy. That this is reality, that I might really be a woman trapped in a man's body, and that I might really need to transition. To go through with a scary life-altering transition, a fantasy that really sucks. I have taken baby steps by walking outside the door en femme, and am finding I really feel a lot better when I'm dressed as female, whether I'm in the house or out in public.
Now I'm just really scared. Maybe part of me wishes I could just go back to this all being a CD sexual fantasy. But part of me really desires to be seen and treated as a woman publicly, and although the sexual component still shows up sometimes, it's FAR less than it used to be and I don't seem to miss the sexual part.
Last edited by Michelle789; 04-19-2014 at 09:23 PM.
I've finally mastered the art of making salads. My favorite is a delicious Mediterranean salad.
I do get turned on when I get completely dressed and see myself in the mirror, so I guess it has to do with the "euphoria". I also feel feminine sometimes and dressing is my way of expressing those feelings.
Most of my life it's been a sexual fetish. Now, it's both a fetish and euphoria to express my feminine side.
I am not going to lie and say that crossdresing has held no sexual pull on me. I feel that when I am dressed that I am a sexual being as well. When I get dressed, especially after a long period of time, I get seriously sexually aroused. I think it goes with the territory. If I am wrong, please correct me. I know that when I am dressed I feel like a woman who has desires.
Is not crossdressing by definition and deed fulfilling a very strong and primal fantasy? To what end it serves each individual is and can only be conditioned by that individuals circumstance?
Another thing I've been wondering about that is related to my initial question, is that what is the reason or purpose of your dressing? What is it that makes you stop from you regular routine and dress as the opposite sex?
Little Miss. Reason
Just everyday... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYhlRYKMfAc
A Journey 2011-2014 https://www.youtube.com/watch?lv=Ikji9DMaeVA
Want better looking Cleavage? http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ial&highlight=
Your question kind of belittles 'our' form of cross-gender expression in my opinion, but I guess it's alright. Cross-dressing is part of my my regular routine. It's not in my daily routine, but it's part of me. If fulfils emotional needs and wishes, it's an expression of my identity or how I want to be perceived at that moment and I simply enjoy doing it. It sounds like you're wondering whether or not your reasons for cross-gender expression are wildly different than that of the 'run of the mill' cross-dresser (if there's such a thing), but I think you might be in for a surprise.Originally Posted by Candice Mae
That's kind of the way it is for me. I just feel more natural with female clothes on. But my CD/gender self just kind of simmered thru life.. until it got triggered a touch with the fetish experimentation in my 20s... a lingerie/teddy I had.
And full speed as of last year.
Now...I love to just have on the regular clothes and that feels great. Natural and empowering, and calming at times.
But I can't say I have or could fully let go of the fetish side. Between corsetting, getting mini skirts, sexy stockings, sexy boots/shoes, outfits for clubbing, I still try to put the fetish back in a little bit. Even if it's only for my own amusement (unfortunately). At least... I'll keep trying for as long as I keep my figure and can wear and look decent anyways I'd say
Got a lotta life and time to make up for since I'm in now my upper 40's.
And I've gotta live for my motto in my signature..
For me I was first sexually aroused when I was younger but now, well I just feel comfortable, at peace with myself, and enjoy every minute I can be that woman I want to be deep down in my soul.
Dressing up is not what arouses me. Rather, I dress up because I'm aroused, in both sexual and non-sexual ways, by the thought of myself as feminine. I go long periods (years) without ever CDing but this gender crap is never far from my thoughts. For many years reading TG fiction was a suitable outlet but now it bores me to tears. Sometimes CDing is a disappointment, too. The only thing that still works is cross dreaming.
The first orgasm I ever had when I was about 12 was the result of fantasizing myself as a girl in a sexual act and it hasn't gotten better since. Imagining myself as a male sexually is a turn off. I assume when the "sexual aspect" wears off (it hasn't in 50 years) I will be completely asexual.
Originally, way back when, there was a tremendous sexual element involved. Coupled with the idea i was doing something taboo. Later, i began to realize it was not just a game, but there was something very real going on that i did not understand.
A lot of confusion for several years as i dressed when i could, stealing time here and there, and trying to figure out what was going on.
Once I accepted this part of me, I was intriged and frustrated at trying to understand how this fit, where it belonged and what part of me was in control/
Once I determined that this and everything else WAS me, I became much more at ease, and comfortable,... and the sexual issue faded away.
To echo others. to dress, when I can, is now the norm. That is the routine and It is not out of the way.
Only the silliest of people would not be able to figure out that at least SOME of Pavlov's dogs would start drooling as soon as they SAW the whistle.
Silly dogs...
For anyone whom really wants to know for themselves if it's still a sexual fetish or a lot more try this simple experiment.
Next time you have the time and opportunity to dress up, before you start give yourself a big O. Then see if you still have the desire to dress as usual or find some excuse to forget about dressing and do something else.
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