How many?

[HaleyPink2000]

Way to in love with my GG wife of 25 years. Hetro BTW.

Haley

[JocelynG]

Very much in love with women,especially my wife. I wouldn't mind a guy taking me out though But I consider myself straight

[andreaboots]

Hey, it's quirky enough dressing in the opposite sex's clothing let alone even contemplating something akin to elicit sex with a male. I'm definitely straight and love to dress and play many roles as a, "woman". I think I could understand where a lot of CD'ers tend to think, "fem" and want to experience what women do when with men. When dressed and feeling fem and sexy I think one automatically feels more attracted to men not that any CD'er will actually go all the way. Sex is a very curious thing as well as a mysterious shadow, it has it's own power over us. It's always with us and it takes on many forms. By dressing it tends to take on a whole new aspect. This is just my opinion based on my own feelings and from what I've read here in the forums and I hope I make sense. Discussion is healthy so don't hold back, vent and you will feel better! Love all! XXX

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

And I can't help but think that it's because he wants to attract guys. I wear a short skirt to impress men, not to be more comfortable. Comfort is a long flowing dress, it's like wearing nothing at all. But it isn't necessarily sexy.

Melissa, I can understand your worries. I don't know if you saw this thread about "feeling pretty" but Helana raised some important points that may reassure you.

One of the most important is that the other reason for wanting to feel pretty -- to feel good about oneself. For me, and probably a lot of other CDs, that's one important reason why we dress. And to be honest, a lot of us do look "prettier" en femme -- a number of examples here. (Whether we're more attractive, I'll leave to others... I'm attracted to women, so there's an inherent bias.) After all, make-up inherently is designed to play up your features, women's clothing is often designed to enhance the figure in a way that men's clothing often isn't, etc.

Of course women's clothing can be uncomfortable. But the pyschic benefits can outweigh the physical discomfort. CDs aren't alone in this -- lots of GGs put up with "cruel shoes." I guess an analogy might be if you've ever gotten glammed up for a special night out and feel pretty and witty and bright. For us it's often a similar feeling, even if we're wearing "average" clothes, since most of us don't get to dress as often as we'd like, so every time we do is a special occasion.

But I have to tell you, I'm human. And the more I read, "I am straight unless I am dressed" the harder and harder it is to accept that it's just a 'fun to be something different.' It's difficult for me to explain. I just know this. I don't want to lose my man to another man. Or think that I am somehow not good enough for him because I don't have a penis, although I do wear skirts and heels.

Of course, it's unsettling to think your partner might be unfaithful, or that you're somehow "not woman enough."

For the latter concern, just remember that it's got nothing to do with you -- if he's like the vast majority of us, he started in childhood and will continue CDing whether or not he's with you.

As far as CD sexuality, it is more complicated than Tri-Ess lets on. Sexuality and gender are both spectrums that society chooses to see as either/or. For some, CDing does seem to be a way to legitimize bisexual urges they can't acknowledge otherwise. Some folks are just ****ty, but I suspect they'd be that way even if they couldn't dress. For some dressing does seem to trigger fantasies about what it would be like to be the one pursue instead of the one doing the pursuing. (It may be less about actual sex than the seduction.) For some, it's questions about what would be like to "be the woman" (although at Marla GG points, some of these folks are more "penetration curious" than actually interested in having sex with a man). And I suspect a number of people -- not just CDs -- have thought at least once about what it would be like to be the opposite partner in bed.

It's also important to remember the distinction between fantasies that people are intrigued by but have not desire to act on, vs. desires that they would like to carry out, and actual behavior. My sense is a lot of what you're hearing in these sort of threads are fantasies being expressed than anything else.

But as others have said, the real issue is whether someone is monogamous, regardless of what they're wearing or who they're attracted do.

[Amanduhrob]

You are absolutely right, Julia. If people took responsibility for their actions, the world would be a better place.

And I understand your point, as far as trusting my partner. Its just that I am trying to get my head wrapped around the 'why' he crossdresses. And I can't help but think that it's because he wants to attract guys. I wear a short skirt to impress men, not to be more comfortable. Comfort is a long flowing dress, it's like wearing nothing at all. But it isn't necessarily sexy.

I am slowly learning more and more about crossdressing. The why will always allude me. I accept him / her and what she wants to wear. I think it would be fun to shop as girlfriends. We've gone to a cd friendly bar (her dressed) and had a great time. But I have to tell you, I'm human. And the more I read, "I am straight unless I am dressed" the harder and harder it is to accept that it's just a 'fun to be something different.' It's difficult for me to explain. I just know this. I don't want to lose my man to another man. Or think that I am somehow not good enough for him because I don't have a penis, although I do wear skirts and heels.

Melissa,

You wear a mini to attract guys and look sexy, we wear them to feel sexy, or at least I do, it's a different mindset.

Just like everyone else, there's straight CD's, gay CD's, and bi CD's.

When I dress, I've never had thoughts, dreams, or fantasys of men, even men in drag, and if your husband says the same, why not give him the benefit of doubt? Just because we're wired to enjoy feminine garments, looks, and accessories, doesn't mean we also want a penis, other than our own

You want to know the why, and I for one can't tell you why, but I can tell you that if I don't dress, I get tempermental, moody, and depressed.

I'm sure I'm not the only CD here that wishes that they didn't dress. I'm sure you can imagine the stigma that goes along with a dude in a dress.

Have faith in Hubby, and try to keep an open mind, and keep reading.

[Falcor]

Had a quick gander at the poll results of this and the previous poll,the polls show a far greater presence of bisexuality[real or fantasy]amongst cders,than in the poulation in general.
Lets be painfully honest here,what does that suggest?
I'm certainly not trying to cause any concern to anyone,I suspect ,we in our community are overwhelmingly loyal to our partners,but the poll,at the very least is food for thought.
A profoundly thinking ..fal.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

the polls show a far greater presence of bisexuality[real or fantasy]amongst cders,than in the poulation in general.
Lets be painfully honest here,what does that suggest?

Probably mostly that we're more open about our sexual orientation than the general public. The 1999 Yvonne's Place survey of around 1,200 CDs found the following breakdown in self-reported sexual orientation:

Heterosexual 48.4%
Heterosexual but bi-curious 23.9%
Bisexual but prefer women 10.1%
Heterosexual with homosexual experiences 7.2%
Bisexual 6.6%
Bisexual but prefer men 1.6%
Homosexual 1.5%
Homosexual with heterosexual experiences 0.7%

which isn't that surprising when compared to things like the Kinsey studies. Sexual orientation -- like gender -- is a spectrum that our society chooses to see as an either/or.

[Julia Cross]

Had a quick gander at the poll results of this and the previous poll,the polls show a far greater presence of bisexuality[real or fantasy]amongst cders,than in the poulation in general.
Lets be painfully honest here,what does that suggest?
I'm certainly not trying to cause any concern to anyone,I suspect ,we in our community are overwhelmingly loyal to our partners,but the poll,at the very least is food for thought.
A profoundly thinking ..fal.

I think the reason the polls here show more bisexuality might be that many straight and reserved CD's remain in the closet. They eithr don't feel comfortable being on a forum or don't have any desire. i wonder if there is a higher percentage here because the CD's with extra preferences are also looking and being a little exhibitionist.

I personally believe the numbers are the same as they would be amongs the non-cd popualtion, or just a little higher, but not nearly as high as the polls indicate.

julia