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Thread: Survey (success with coming out to SO)

  1. #26
    Silver Member kittypw GG's Avatar
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    So what if it ends the relationship??? Would you want to be with someone who does not support all of you? Think about that and just be honest. Let me warn you that if you keep this a secret so you can get married and have children..........you WILL suffer, at least to some degree in the future. BE HONEST PLEASE.

  2. #27
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    First wife, sorta pretended to be OK with it until she got pictures for her attorney. That plan backfired miserably.

    Current wife, not at all thrilled. DADT and she doesn't want to see me dressed at all. All of my clothes are in closets and drawers in my man cave with pairs of Carla's shoes lining the wall and a chair piled with bras and stuff. I get the occasional snotty comment but it's understood that we each need to enjoy our lives. I never let the pink fog cloud my judgement but, I certainly wouldn't just stop crossdressing so as to appear to be someone else's version of proper.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  3. #28
    Member Chrissy52's Avatar
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    A2 b2

  4. #29
    Member ronny0's Avatar
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    A = 3
    B = 3
    A + B = 6

    PS: She bought me a new dress for Easter...

  5. #30
    Member Dannigirl's Avatar
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    When I was in my teens (many years ago) I told my GF, she seemed to have fun with it and gave me makeup and clothes and we went out a couple of times with me dressed and then either the relationship ran its' course or she decided it wasn't something she could deal with anymore.

    For current relationship we have been together 8 years, I told her after 2 or 3 years and we are all good. She is 100% fine with it all and buys me stuff and takes me shopping and will go anywhere with me anytime. She says whatever makes me happy as long as it isn't murder or being with somebody else.

    Sorry I would use your rating system but I forgot what it was and don't want to go back a page in case I lose my answer !

  6. #31
    The Girl Next Door Sally24's Avatar
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    A3 B3

    We've been married 36 years and usually do pretty well. I told her before we were engaged so I definitely encourage early sharing.
    Sally

  7. #32
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi.

    Married 35 years known each other 40 years, I told Jos I was a female after 24 years together as married.

    Took 8 years for Jos to accept because im intersex and being different Jos and others accepted that ,

    ,success no, trying to understand is not so easy let alone know what its like, yes we stayed together for 14 more years, had our marrage anuuld and Jos has remarried, we are still close as friends / sisters we still talk about things and do a few things as we have allways done,

    i would doubt very much any woman would or will be interested in a friendship or relastionship
    any way therell be very few who dont know my history . and that goes back over 10 years and I told Jos over 20 years ago,

    ...noeleena...

  8. #33
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Rocky start - but still together (39 years married) and I do dress and do not hide it

  9. #34
    New Member
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    B3, I came out to my SO after about a month of dating, when I could see that things were progressing well and getting serious, and she was very accepting. Although in the past I had an 'A1' where after a year or so of dating my GF found my stuff. After that I decided that it was best to bring it up early in the relationship because it will come out sooner or later and by bringing it up myself I could control the way that it was presented.

  10. #35
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    My wife is not over enthusiastic but shares adventures with me.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  11. #36
    New Member Emily43's Avatar
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    b-3

    As for past relationships that would be a-2 (we split after 12 years)

  12. #37
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    A-3 for me

  13. #38
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    A-3 It was definitely a bump in the road after 20 years of marriage but we got past it.

    B-3 We share both sides of me and have a great time doing it!
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  14. #39
    Member Taylor Dame's Avatar
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    A-2, B-2. My SO has known for a number of years, but it has remained basically DADT. We have been married 34 years, and I love her and respect her wishes. We were shopping at Ross this February and she bought me a skirt, so things seem to be gradually working out for the best.
    "When you come to a fork in the road, Take it!" - Yogi Berra
    I guess I did!

  15. #40
    Jackie njcddresser's Avatar
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    A - 3
    b - 3

  16. #41
    Dani Dani0948's Avatar
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    I"m a B1. With a little luck and a lot of courage maybe I can get to a higher number later this year (after daughter's wedding).

  17. #42
    GG / SO to a CD MatildaJ.'s Avatar
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    As a GG, it seems to me that a significant factor is how much of your time /interest /sexual energy goes into CDing, and how much is left for being a sociable companion who shares some of your SO's interests.

    If our preferences in bed no longer overlap, and our hobbies and interests no longer overlap, then it's going to be harder to maintain a relationship over time, and either person may start wondering why they are still together.

  18. #43
    Member Ann Thomas's Avatar
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    A: 2
    B: 2

    I'm of the opinion that in today's world, where I live, I would be honest on the first date about who I am, or even before. It's not worth putting the time into a relationship where the other person could fall in love with an image that is created for their enjoyment, and not yours as well. Life is just too short - they need to love all of you or it's not worth it.

    Ann

  19. #44
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    R2 D2...no, wait!...that's one of the robots from Star Wars. A2 B2 for the purposes of this survey, actually.

    Strictly DADT in my case. Some glacial movement forward and grudging acceptance of my CDing after 40+ years of marriage, but it's still a huge elephant in the room. I'm at the point where I simply don't care anymore and just do my thing because I understand now that my wife's aversion to my CDing is less about the concept itself, and more of a manifestation of her need to be a control freak in all other aspects of our relationship as well.

    The guilt is gone now since I've had this epiphany (counselling has helped open my eyes to this aspect), and I see my wife's uncompromising attitude towards my crossdressing and her rejection of my transgenderism as being more her problem at this point than mine...

  20. #45
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    A3 B3 and very lucky

  21. #46
    Junior Member RachaelInLv's Avatar
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    a-3 and b-3. She was a little taken by surprise when I first told her and it took her a little time to wrap her head around it but it all worked out fine.

  22. #47
    Member Marguarite's Avatar
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    Hi Julie,

    A3, B3 like most things my wife was ahead of the curve and knew I would be serious about dressing before I did.

  23. #48
    Just can't help myself! Brenda456's Avatar
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    A-2, B-2 in my case. It may get to a B-3. Maybe.

  24. #49
    Junior Member Trinity Sue's Avatar
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    A-3 B-3 I came out to my wife . She is truly awesome ! 20years and counting !

  25. #50
    Banned Read only
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    Neither apply to me but keep in mind that many of the A1s didn't/don't stick around long. They obviously can't answer. [the ones who decided to spill the beans AFTER coming to this Forum]

    And your B2? It's DADT. Which comes in MANY flavors per all the folks who post here and keep their Relationship intact. The ones who value their RELATIONSHIP more than their CDing.

    Of course DADT can't work unless the GG allows it. It IS a compromise from her but just something that many here have issues with obviously.

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